practice time at 30-something

GreatScott91 · #1 10-11-2011, 11:40 AM

This is out of sheer curiosity. I'm in my late 30's, have a wife and two kids under 8 years old, and bought my first bass about a year and half ago.

I know I’m not alone in this scenario, so for those folks - how easily was it/is it for you to incorporate practicing into your life? For me it's not been easy. Hate to take time away from the family, naturally I have a day job, and I suffer from a wife who thinks I’m going through some weird mid-life crisis….but that’s another post.

Simply put, I'm living the dream of the long-gone HS kid from twenty years ago – but I’m having a blast and enjoying what/how much I can play. And to me, that's all that matters.

At the same time, getting better is the name of the game. I'm lucky if I can average 2 to 3 days a week for anywhere from 15-30 minutes at a time. This has really slowed the learning curve but again, for me it's not a race. I was just curious to see if anyone else has had the same issues, and more importantly, any work-arounds you came up with.

Thanks!
GSB

Jazz Ad · #2 10-11-2011, 11:41 AM

No TV. It gives me plenty time for music.

Ayce · #3 10-11-2011, 12:18 PM

Same boat, different cabin.

I'm 55, just restarted playing. Have 2 little ones at home, 6 & 2, plus a wife that now works and wants chores done. With my 3d work on top of that, it leaves little time to practice. I make do when I can.

James_E · #4 10-11-2011, 12:23 PM

Practice after they go to bed. (But be sure to go to bed with the wife at least a couple times per week.) On the nights they go to bed before you, you should be able to get an hour (or more) in. You'll have to sacrifice a bit of sleep, but that's life.

OR.. after the kids go to bed (probably before 9pm if they are both < 8), go take 30 minutes and practice (use a timer) and then go join your wife and spend time with her and do your chores.

When you have 10 minutes while waiting for them to get ready.. go practice.

lomo · #5 10-11-2011, 12:25 PM

I started 10 years ago at 39 and promised myself 1 hr perday, 6 days per week. It has been one of my favorite decisions to date. My kids were 5 and 10 at the time and my job is very demanding. Remember that the sweetest rose bears the sharpest thorn.....which may mean some very early or late practicing sessions.

mpdd · #6 10-11-2011, 01:13 PM

i'm lucky enough to have a five hour break in between my morning and night classes, so i can generally get a good hour in mtwr and more or less on the weekend

**baba** · #7 10-11-2011, 01:27 PM

I find the key to practicing is to make a bass and amp very visible in a high traffic area. I always have a bass and a cheap micro combo right off of the kitchen and plugged in. I grab it countless times throughout the day. While it doesn't substitute for serious focused practice, it certainly adds up.

Ayce · #8 10-11-2011, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_E

Practice after they go to bed. (But be sure to go to bed with the wife at least a couple times per week.) On the nights they go to bed before you, you should be able to get an hour (or more) in. You'll have to sacrifice a bit of sleep, but that's life.

OR.. after the kids go to bed (probably before 9pm if they are both < 8), go take 30 minutes and practice (use a timer) and then go join your wife and spend time with her and do your chores.

When you have 10 minutes while waiting for them to get ready.. go practice.

Well, that would be nice, except we home school, and the oldest goes to bed around 9, which is O.K.
The 2 yr old, otoh, doesn't get to bed until around 11-12. Whoops. We'll work on getting her off sooner, but she still naps most days.
Hoping to get a little practice amp soon, with a headphone output. Right now, I plug into the PC, turn the mic input on and plug in the miniphones. Not quite convenient, but it works.

SelenaBassGirl · #9 10-11-2011, 09:18 PM

I am almost 41 and started playing 4 years ago. My kids thought it was cool, my then husband complained cause I would play one song over and over..but I made myself time to practice and taught myself how to play bass.

Mike M. · #10 10-11-2011, 09:52 PM

I'm 58 and have been on nights and have worked 12 hours shifts since '98. I'm also single, so of course that means I have no help around the house. With my present schedual I'm lucky, make that damn lucky if I can get in a half an hour a day Monday thru Friday. But in reality I'm lucky if I get to do that three times a week. Of course on weekends I have a bit more time but I usually don't get the chance to play until my chores are done, which is around midnight.

Very frustrating.

tonym · #11 10-11-2011, 10:02 PM

I'm 49 and have been trying to start for 12 years - really just made some progress in the last two. I spent my day at work and another few hours driving my only daughter out and back to a water polo game. She's just about to get her driver's license. Seems to me like a 'golden age' is coming where I'll get back some free time I haven't had in years...

Depth_Charge · #12 10-11-2011, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreatScott91

I was just curious to see if anyone else has had the same issues, and more importantly, any work-arounds you came up with.

38 years old. Missus who can't drive, 4 kids including one with autism, full time job, part time musician (covers).

I started playing at 19 while unemployed, and spent up to 6 hours a day jamming through Metallica songs (I learned from the first 5 transcription books of theirs).

Fast forward to last year, I was balancing career, kids, mortgage with a working country circuit cover band. Some days I would work Mon through Wed, take Thurs/Fri off to go country, get back Sunday arvo, unload, wind down, start work week...not a good lifestyle for a family man! Throw in some trust issues and a break up, and its a nightmare!!!

The easiest sacrifice to make was to trade TV time for jam time. I also spent a lot of time jamming covers at night when the kids were asleep. Or I practiced on the road. And I started improving my ear and theory a bit more. Its never enough though

That routine took me away on weekends, so some weeks I was lucky to spend a few hours a week with my family. It didn't last long.

Now, if I have a band, its because I run it according to my schedules, and the family comes first. Makes getting out to rehearse and gig tougher, increases lineup turnover, and running a band second fiddle is a drag when you just want to drop eveything and gig out!

But on the flip side, my kids are seeing me manage both aspects well, (which my Dad told me was impossible so forget music for a living son), I take time out to sit with my daughter when she learns guitar, which helps me stay in touch with music and inspires me to keep learning, and because Im mainly only interested in regurgitating covers, I don't lose too much skills by taking breaks from playing.

All that said, Im taking a redundancy from work soon, and will be taking lessons (bass, vocals, drums, chord instrument the whole lot haha) and trying to make music more a part of how I make a living

Wow, long post. I hope theres a point for you somewhere buried in that wall of text

62Jazzbass · #13 10-11-2011, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_E

Practice after they go to bed. (But be sure to go to bed with the wife at least a couple times per week.) On the nights they go to bed before you, you should be able to get an hour (or more) in. You'll have to sacrifice a bit of sleep, but that's life.

OR.. after the kids go to bed (probably before 9pm if they are both < 8), go take 30 minutes and practice (use a timer) and then go join your wife and spend time with her and do your chores.

When you have 10 minutes while waiting for them to get ready.. go practice.

I was in the same boat as the OP more or less. Started playing again around the age of 40, kids were 2 and 6. I did everything the guy I just quoted did (still do in fact, six years on).

I have basses at the ready, in the laundry room with a mixer, IPOD and headphones. I can grab 5 to 15 minutes here and there, then an hour or so when they are in bed. Make sure to make time for the wife too.

Been in three bands plus some sub work, since starting up again. One gig landed me live on NPR in a theater of 3K people. Totally worth it.

And...the wife and kids have been very supportive.

Make it happen.

jgroh · #14 10-11-2011, 10:36 PM

Im 40, married with a 3 year old and a 7 year old and I practice after everyone goes to bed. The kids go to bed at 9:30 pm or so and so does the wife. Ive been playing for 25 years so I dont need endless hours every day of practicing though.

My advice? Crack down on the kids to get them to bed at the same time (9 pm or so). We had this same problem where I let my son stay up later but it started getting out of control. Then practice for an hour or two before bed. I use my laptop to plug into and Garageband with some headphones. Once you get into that routine you will have at least an hour or two a night to work on your playing.

anonymous122511 · #15 10-11-2011, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazz Ad

No TV. It gives me plenty time for music.

Turning off the box of lies will do wonders in all sorts of ways.
Daily practice of some form of meditation will teach you to make the most of limited practice time. Even just 15 minutes of deeply focused practice every day will quickly give you noticeable forward motion.

Ronnietex · #16 10-11-2011, 11:02 PM

Don't give it up for a long time like I did when I had kids still at home, full time job etc. Trust me, whatever you do, do something. The time will come when the kids are gone, work is not as hard (unless the goofballs dont stop spending money we dont have). If you just do what you can you will be very glad one day!

Hang in there, but remember the kids grow up fast so get rid of something else in life like TV or whatever to spend time with them too!

hrodbert696 · #17 10-12-2011, 04:58 AM

I'm 40, took up bass two years ago, wife and 4 kids. When I started to play, She Who Must Be Obeyed made it clear that she did not want this to become an obsessive thing that took me away from being engaged with the family. The older kids are teens, so practicing after they went to bed was not a practical possibility and I pretty much conk out at night anyway, wouldn't be good practice time. Instead, I wake up an hour earlier than everyone else and practice with headphones from 5 to 6 am. I was never a morning person before but after two years of that routine my body pops awake to practice at 5 even if I don't set the alarm.

The main problem is that I also sing in the bands I'm in and I can't really practice that while I'm practicing bass, as I don't want to wake everyone up with my howling. I try to get singing practice in while I'm driving or occasionally there's an afternoon when I can strap the bass on and sing, but not near enough.

guy n. cognito · #18 10-12-2011, 06:31 AM

I'm in my late 30s with two small kids and a 10+ hour a day job. I usually get about 30 minutes of practice a day after the kids go to bed. I make sure to do my fair share of work around the house and I don't really have any other hobbies, which definitely helps. Fortunately, my wife is supportive of my hobby.

GreatScott91 · #19 10-12-2011, 06:31 AM

Good stuff, thanks everyone. I agree with all who said "turn off the tv". Actually, my tv time isn't what it used to be. Get home around 6, eat dinner, play with the kids, bath time and they're off to bed by 8. Sounds good for practicing afterword, but I'm getting up at 5:00-5:15 which means this guy's bed time is 9:00 or so! (I keep saying things like "man, I'm not 19 anymore!!")

Anyways, I think the consensus I'm hearing is don't quit, do it as much and as often as possible. Which, that's what I've been trying to do so I think I'm on the right track.

Also need to invest in headphones - quiet would be the key more often than not.

didgeribass · #20 10-12-2011, 07:07 AM

I am 31 and started on bass about two years ago. Recently I started getting up an hour earlier and practicing before work - which works better for me than after work when I'm usually too tired and less focused. The trick is getting to bed an hour earlier, which usually means no internet/TV in the evening. I try to do it every day... except for weekends