Reaquiring Gear

[jmattbassplaya]

Grr...

So this is a weird situation and I would like some advice on how to handle this.

I`m in a college band(same one I`ve been mentioning for a while now) and one of my guitarist forgot/lost/his-dog-ate-it/etc... his power cable to his amp. Knowing me, he bummed my spare off of me a few weeks ago for a gig which was fine. Well now it`s been a month and he still has it. I told him when I lent him it that I expected him to buy a new one ASAP because I absolutely hate lending people things(I`ve had bad experiences with people not giving things back in the past) and that I`d take it back within a few weeks regardless of what was going on band wise.

Well that time finally came today. I went up to him before practice and told him that after practice I was taking the cable back. He then informs me that he doesn`t have it, but that he lent it to the other guitarist.... okay Well that guitarist couldn`t make it today so I told guitarist #1 and the drummer than I was taking it back since his amp is in the rehearsal space. They both then get quite aggressive and start asking me, "why do you have to take your guitarists cable?" "why aren`t you putting the band first?"

So now I`m somehow the bad guy for wanting my cable back. I told them that I lent it to them so that we could do a gig and get through a few rehearsals, and that I didn`t give it to him to keep. They then go on to say I`m being rude and that it`s just a cable... Meanwhile I`m thinking, "Yeah, that`s $10 bucks I`m never going to see again once I either forget it or once the kid starts believing it`s actually his."

Anyways TB, what do you think I should do? How should I handle this? Anyone else ever have this or something similar happen to you?

I really don`t want to come across as some sort of @$$hole or some bad guy in this masquerade and I know it`s a fairly cheap piece of equipment, but it`s the principle of things. I almost know for a fact that neither of them will buy a new one unless I take it back... What do I do?

[Phalex]

You are not the A-hole. There is an A-hole in your story, but it aint you.

[scsm]

Pretend yours broke and you need your other one back?

Childish but it might work.

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

Grr...

So this is a weird situation and I would like some advice on how to handle this.

I`m in a college band(same one I`ve been mentioning for a while now) and one of my guitarist forgot/lost/his-dog-ate-it/etc... his power cable to his amp. Knowing me, he bummed my spare off of me a few weeks ago for a gig which was fine. Well now it`s been a month and he still has it. I told him when I lent him it that I expected him to buy a new one ASAP because I absolutely hate lending people things(I`ve had bad experiences with people not giving things back in the past) and that I`d take it back within a few weeks regardless of what was going on band wise.

Well that time finally came today. I went up to him before practice and told him that after practice I was taking the cable back. He then informs me that he doesn`t have it, but that he lent it to the other guitarist.... okay Well that guitarist couldn`t make it today so I told guitarist #1 and the drummer than I was taking it back since his amp is in the rehearsal space. They both then get quite aggressive and start asking me, "why do you have to take your guitarists cable?" "why aren`t you putting the band first?"

So now I`m somehow the bad guy for wanting my cable back. I told them that I lent it to them so that we could do a gig and get through a few rehearsals, and that I didn`t give it to him to keep. They then go on to say I`m being rude and that it`s just a cable... Meanwhile I`m thinking, "Yeah, that`s $10 bucks I`m never going to see again once I either forget it or once the kid starts believing it`s actually his."

Anyways TB, what do you think I should do? How should I handle this? Anyone else ever have this or something similar happen to you?

I really don`t want to come across as some sort of @$$hole or some bad guy in this masquerade and I know it`s a fairly cheap piece of equipment, but it`s the principle of things. I almost know for a fact that neither of them will buy a new one unless I take it back... What do I do?

time for a little heart to heart....as in dude,im not buying gear for you.....

[fishtx]

just tell them both you want "YOUR" cable...they will get over it...if they don't, too bad...

[Steve]

What a bunch of @#$% buttheads.

Someone owes you a cable and an apology or $10 and an apology.

Chances are excellent you will see neither. Welcome to the music biz.

"No good deed goes unpunished"

On the other hand, if it only cost you $10 to find out who you're really dealing with, that's a pretty good deal.

[JTE]

Why don't the two guitarist put the band first. Or at least ahead of stuff like lunch at Mac's, cigarettes, alcohol, magazines, porn, or whatever they spent the money they've gotten since the gig.

John

[WookieeForLife]

Take back the cord. Just do it. DO IT!

[Pilgrim]

If it's a standard plug-in AC cable like you find on computers and everything else, it's simply not worth worrying about. Get one and never lend him anything again - but don't whine about it. And fer godssake, don't make it a federal case.

[fdeck]

Power cables are what, two bucks? They usually breed and multiply wherever computers are kept. Next time you are in a computer lab, just casually start opening cabinets, and there will probably be a whole pile of spare cables from gear that has been thrown away.

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by fdeck

Power cables are what, two bucks? They usually breed and multiply wherever computers are kept. Next time you are in a computer lab, just casually start opening cabinets, and there will probably be a whole pile of spare cables from gear that has been thrown away.

i've got a rubbermade full of 'em...i thought he meant instrument stuff.....good will probably has 'em for less than a buck...nobody tosses them with junk gear....but it's good that he learned that the band mates have little respect for his stuff and he can govern himself accordingly

[two fingers]

Originally Posted by Phalex

You are not the A-hole. There is an A-hole in your story, but it aint you.

Ha! Well played!

To the OP, you are in a band with CHILDREN. They suck. They are dumb. They are losers. Either deal with it or find another band. Any "grown" man who would hit you with "putting the band first" over a cable is an idiot. If you stay in that band, you aren't much smarter than them (unless, of course, the pay is outstanding).

[jmattbassplaya]

Originally Posted by fdeck

Power cables are what, two bucks? They usually breed and multiply wherever computers are kept. Next time you are in a computer lab, just casually start opening cabinets, and there will probably be a whole pile of spare cables from gear that has been thrown away.

The cheapest one I can find that is at least 10 ft. is $9.99

Regardless, it`s not the price that has me bent out of shape because like a lot of us have already mentioned, it`s a cheap piece of gear(although being in college does force one to be a penny picker). What has me worked up is that I was trying to get my gear back and 1. guitarist #1 passed it on to someone else without my permission or even informing me, and 2. they acted as if I were some @$$ just because I wanted to have my gear back in my possession

I really just want some ideas about how to handle this so that this doesn`t get blown out of proportion, like I expect it`s going to. Otherwise I`ll probably end up just taking one at the end of practice and when someone asks where "theirs" went I`ll offer to rent my spare out for a dollar an hour. Like I said in my first post, I really don`t want to end up being a complete butt to them, but I don`t want them to think they can bum off of me just because I carry spares of everything. It`d become a vicious cycle way too fast if I don`t do something now.

[two fingers]

Originally Posted by fdeck

Power cables are what, two bucks? They usually breed and multiply wherever computers are kept. Next time you are in a computer lab, just casually start opening cabinets, and there will probably be a whole pile of spare cables from gear that has been thrown away.

That's not the point. If his band mates are gonna hit him with "putting the band first" and "don't be rude" over a cable that THEY could go out and buy for the same two bucks you mentioned, then they are.....dumb.

[fdeck]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

The cheapest one I can find that is at least 10 ft. is $9.99

Regardless, it`s not the price that has me bent out of shape because like a lot of us have already mentioned, it`s a cheap piece of gear(although being in college does force one to be a penny picker). What has me worked up is that I was trying to get my gear back and 1. guitarist #1 passed it on to someone else without my permission or even informing me, and 2. they acted as if I were some @$$ just because I wanted to have my gear back in my possession

I really just want some ideas about how to handle this so that this doesn`t get blown out of proportion, like I expect it`s going to. Otherwise I`ll probably end up just taking one at the end of practice and when someone asks where "theirs" went I`ll offer to rent my spare out for a dollar an hour. Like I said in my first post, I really don`t want to end up being a complete butt to them, but I don`t want them to think they can bum off of me just because I carry spares of everything. It`d become a vicious cycle way too fast if I don`t do something now.

Understood. You are certainly within your rights to be annoyed by your band mates. Unfortunately, I think the "teachable moment" has probably passed, so the best thing might be to forget about it and not let it happen again.

I splurged on a couple extra-long power cords from this place:

http://www.cablestogo.com/product_li...rt=length-desc

It means that I no longer need to bring an extension cord into most gig venues.

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

The cheapest one I can find that is at least 10 ft. is $9.99

Regardless, it`s not the price that has me bent out of shape because like a lot of us have already mentioned, it`s a cheap piece of gear(although being in college does force one to be a penny picker). What has me worked up is that I was trying to get my gear back and 1. guitarist #1 passed it on to someone else without my permission or even informing me, and 2. they acted as if I were some @$$ just because I wanted to have my gear back in my possession

Like I said in my first post, I really don`t want to end up being a complete butt to them, but I don`t want them to think they can bum off of me just because I carry spares of everything. It`d become a vicious cycle way too fast if I don`t do something now.

if you don't stand up and tell them they will assume that they can do exactly that.....

[rllefebv]

This time it's a cord... Next time, it's a strap, tuner, stand, etc... It's less about the type of gear than the type of person... Like Steve said, at least it only cost you $10 to find out what kind of people you're dealing with!

When I loan my son my car, way more often than not it comes back with more gas than it left with... He's always welcome to borrow it... I can understand the few instances that he forgets or is broke, because he always catches it on the next go-round...

Now, on something like the cord, I'd write it off even though the I understand that the dough is hard to come by. Next time the guy wanted to borrow something, it would be just be plain unavailable... If pressed, you could always keep it impersonal by saying something like "I've learned the hard way about loaning stuff out" or "I've been bitten before"... That keeps it away from a personal accusation. If the issue is pressed further, then you can get specific...

Believe me, you're going to be dealing with this kind of person throughout your life... Learning to handle it now is a great opportunity!

Shakespeare nailed it in Hamlet... "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend." Words to live by... Good luck!

-robert

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by rllefebv

This time it's a cord... Next time, it's a strap, tuner, stand, etc... It's less about the type of gear than the type of person... Like Steve said, at least it only cost you $10 to find out what kind of people you're dealing with!

When I loan my son my car, way more often than not it comes back with more gas than it left with... He's always welcome to borrow it... I can understand the few instances that he forgets or is broke, because he always catches it on the next go-round...

Now, on something like the cord, I'd write it off even though the I understand that the dough is hard to come by. Next time the guy wanted to borrow something, it would be just be plain unavailable... If pressed, you could always keep it impersonal by saying something like "I've learned the hard way about loaning stuff out" or "I've been bitten before"... That keeps it away from a personal accusation. If the issue is pressed further, then you can get specific...

Believe me, you're going to be dealing with this kind of person throughout your life... Learning to handle it now is a great opportunity!

Shakespeare nailed it in Hamlet... "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend." Words to live by... Good luck!

-robert

exactly.....and guys that take advantage learn who they can and cannot do it to early and usually resort to the easier mark....or the way i look at it.....someone else

[jmattbassplaya]

Originally Posted by rllefebv

This time it's a cord... Next time, it's a strap, tuner, stand, etc... It's less about the type of gear than the type of person... Like Steve said, at least it only cost you $10 to find out what kind of people you're dealing with!

When I loan my son my car, way more often than not it comes back with more gas than it left with... He's always welcome to borrow it... I can understand the few instances that he forgets or is broke, because he always catches it on the next go-round...

Now, on something like the cord, I'd write it off even though the I understand that the dough is hard to come by. Next time the guy wanted to borrow something, it would be just be plain unavailable... If pressed, you could always keep it impersonal by saying something like "I've learned the hard way about loaning stuff out" or "I've been bitten before"... That keeps it away from a personal accusation. If the issue is pressed further, then you can get specific...

Believe me, you're going to be dealing with this kind of person throughout your life... Learning to handle it now is a great opportunity!

Shakespeare nailed it in Hamlet... "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend." Words to live by... Good luck!

-robert

Thanks for the well rounded response! I also can`t believe that I have forgotten such a memorable passage from Hamlet since it is one of my favorite works of literature

In regards to this trend continuing with them borrowing stuff, I`ve already noticed it from guitarist #1 yet again. He use to ask to use my tuner in rehearsals. No worries. Now he just takes it without asking, and better yet, half the time he just throws it on the floor and doesn`t bother put it back on top of my amp

I guess not everyone was raised to be courteous and respectful of other peoples possessions

[PJSShearer]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

Grr...

So this is a weird situation and I would like some advice on how to handle this.

I`m in a college band(same one I`ve been mentioning for a while now) and one of my guitarist forgot/lost/his-dog-ate-it/etc... his power cable to his amp. Knowing me, he bummed my spare off of me a few weeks ago for a gig which was fine. Well now it`s been a month and he still has it. I told him when I lent him it that I expected him to buy a new one ASAP because I absolutely hate lending people things(I`ve had bad experiences with people not giving things back in the past) and that I`d take it back within a few weeks regardless of what was going on band wise.

Well that time finally came today. I went up to him before practice and told him that after practice I was taking the cable back. He then informs me that he doesn`t have it, but that he lent it to the other guitarist.... okay Well that guitarist couldn`t make it today so I told guitarist #1 and the drummer than I was taking it back since his amp is in the rehearsal space. They both then get quite aggressive and start asking me, "why do you have to take your guitarists cable?" "why aren`t you putting the band first?"

So now I`m somehow the bad guy for wanting my cable back. I told them that I lent it to them so that we could do a gig and get through a few rehearsals, and that I didn`t give it to him to keep. They then go on to say I`m being rude and that it`s just a cable... Meanwhile I`m thinking, "Yeah, that`s $10 bucks I`m never going to see again once I either forget it or once the kid starts believing it`s actually his."

Anyways TB, what do you think I should do? How should I handle this? Anyone else ever have this or something similar happen to you?

I really don`t want to come across as some sort of @$$hole or some bad guy in this masquerade and I know it`s a fairly cheap piece of equipment, but it`s the principle of things. I almost know for a fact that neither of them will buy a new one unless I take it back... What do I do?

You are not being an ashhole - this **** is one of these wonderful people who "acquires" things for no real reason, apart from the fact he can - its a power (sorry) thing - he's probably been "borrowing" stuff from people since he was a kid and getting away with it. The " I lent it to someone else ..." line is the classic giveaway.

The trouble is you can't casually drop the fact into conversation with his mum - it used to work for me!!.

Bottom line, if he won't give you your cable back, then take one of his and inform him he can have his back when he gives you yours back. Either that or sever all contact with him after warning all and sundry what a thieving B*****d he is!!