Rejoining former band?

[Lazylion]

Three months ago, I left a band I'd been with for 8 years to join a new one. I left on good terms, plenty of notice, no big screaming matches or anything like that. They haven't gotten a new bassist, but have been limping along with subs. The bandleader has been asking me to come back.
So the new band has already imploded, due to festering issues that were in place long before I came along. I tried to save it, but couldn't.

I could easily slip back into my spot in the first band, but I've been thinking that all the issues that I had would still be there. Yes, I tried to get them changed before leaving, but it didn't work. At some point you have to either stop complaining, or take action. Why should I go back to the exact same situation? So I'm thinking of laying down a few demands before I return, such as:

*A guarantee of at least 2 lead vocal songs per set.
*I pick those songs.
*Cheerful support when I pick a new song to learn, whether the bandleader likes the song or not. A little respect for my taste in music, in return for the professional job I do on the songs I don't particularly like. (You wouldn't believe the foot-dragging that occurred when I wanted to learn a song from John Fogerty's new album. John Fogerty, fer Chrissakes! Is there anybody more universally liked and less threatening than Fogerty? It's not like it was Marilyn Manson or something! But I digress...)

I've never rejoined a band after such a short absence. My question to the assembled wisdom here is: Is this too heavy-handed, too much of a power play?

[ThunderLizard]

Lazy-
+ 1 on the stop complaining/take action.
Is the band leader the guitarist? I've experienced problems getting a guitarist to learn a song that they didn't know or want to learn.
If the band's working stead, maybe they feel that their music selection is successful and they don't need to change it.

[funkybass4ever]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

Three months ago, I left a band I'd been with for 8 years to join a new one. I left on good terms, plenty of notice, no big screaming matches or anything like that. They haven't gotten a new bassist, but have been limping along with subs. The bandleader has been asking me to come back.
So the new band has already imploded, due to festering issues that were in place long before I came along. I tried to save it, but couldn't.

I could easily slip back into my spot in the first band, but I've been thinking that all the issues that I had would still be there. Yes, I tried to get them changed before leaving, but it didn't work. At some point you have to either stop complaining, or take action. Why should I go back to the exact same situation? So I'm thinking of laying down a few demands before I return, such as:

*A guarantee of at least 2 lead vocal songs per set.
*I pick those songs.
*Cheerful support when I pick a new song to learn, whether the bandleader likes the song or not. A little respect for my taste in music, in return for the professional job I do on the songs I don't particularly like. (You wouldn't believe the foot-dragging that occurred when I wanted to learn a song from John Fogerty's new album. John Fogerty, fer Chrissakes! Is there anybody more universally liked and less threatening than Fogerty? It's not like it was Marilyn Manson or something! But I digress...)

I've never rejoined a band after such a short absence. My question to the assembled wisdom here is: Is this too heavy-handed, too much of a power play?

Im wondering why you left in the first place- do you think people and situations can really change that much so fast? They are desparate to have you back for a reason- the other guys couldn't hack it.
If it feels like the right thing to do and you guys had a great chemistry in the band then go back .

[mpm32]

Every band I was in we had an understanding that we would learn whatever songs another band member wanted to (within reason).

We would play them out at least two times, if they failed at the gigs they were dropped. I was sometimes surprised at songs that I thought would go over well didn't and like wise when some succeeded.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by ThunderLizard

Is the band leader the guitarist?

He does play guitar on a few tunes, but his son is the lead guitarist. He mostly plays fiddle and pedal steel. And another guy plays guitar and keyboards.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by funkybass4ever

If... you guys had a great chemistry in the band then go back .

We did, that's why I'm even considering returning.

[Rune Bivrin]

One thing I've learned over the years is that you cannot change other people, only yourself. Sure - blackmail, extorsion or bribes can yield a temporary change in behaviour, but it won't change the underlying feelings. So I wouldn't go back if I were you unless you are quite prepared to drop all demands, and just go with the flow. You'll only be quitting after a while anyway.

[ryco]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

So I'm thinking of laying down a few demands before I return, such as:

*A guarantee of at least 2 lead vocal songs per set.
*I pick those songs.
*Cheerful support when I pick a new song to learn, whether the bandleader likes the song or not.

I've never rejoined a band after such a short absence. My question to the assembled wisdom here is: Is this too heavy-handed, too much of a power play?

I don't think this is heavy handed or out of line at all.

I think this is called a win/win proposition. They get a good bassist back they know is what they want, and already knows the toons.

You get a chance to go back to playing with folks you already know you enjoy gigging with.

I'd keep an eye open for other opportunities in case the situation starts back sliding!

If they want you, they've got to make the gig experience worthwhile to you

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by Rune Bivrin

blackmail, extorsion or bribes can yield a temporary change in behaviour...

I was hoping it would be more like a working agreement between professionals.

[Stumbo]

Are your demands your bottom line?
What if they want you to sing only 1 song per set?
Or if the band leader wants to pick the songs?
Where will you draw the line?

Let's say you play 40 songs per night.

You want to sing lead on 8 tunes and pick them and no one should complain about the tunes you pick.

Since it's not your band, I don't think that will go over very well. How many songs do others in the band (other than the leader) sing lead on?

I guess you could say you want 25% control of the musical side of the band.

You can always ask. No harm in trying.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Are your demands your bottom line?
Where will you draw the line?

That's what I'm trying to determine.

Originally Posted by Stumbo

How many songs do others in the band (other than the leader) sing lead on?

The leader doesn't sing. The female singer sings about half the songs, just as it should be. Then there's me, and the keys/guitar guy,and the soundman also sings with us, as a kind of special feature. What bugs me is when the soundman sings more songs than I do. I have trouble with that concept, rightly or wrongly. It would be easier to tolerate if I was guaranteed 2 songs per set.
When the set runs too long, too often it's my song that gets cut out. I'd like to put a stop to that.

Originally Posted by Stumbo

I guess you could say you want 25% control of the musical side of the band.

I wouldn't put it that way, I just want more control over MY part of the proceedings.
Is it standing up for myself, or just ego-tripping? I'm having a hard time being objective.

[Craig_S]

My only questions are how do you hold a groove when you sing, and are you a better singer than the sound man? If you are good at getting it done, talk about it with them. Pushing the issue really isn't the way to go.

There has to be a reason why the situation was as it was. It could be political. I don't know. What I do know is this: Just because someone likes to sing, doesn't mean he's good at it and the politics of friendship play into things far more than they should, sometimes.

I sing a lot and have forever. I know that some of my bass lines suffer for my singing (and some people might even suffer due to my singing...). It van be pretty tough to play certain grooves and sing at the same time.

[nortonrider]

So.... when you left the first time, did you tell them why?

(I'm jealous that the sound guy gets to sing more song than I do)

It sound like you want to be recognized as at least a co-leader in the band. The leader makes the calls, that's why he's the leader.
If you want the control, start your own thing then you can tell everyone else in "your" band what songs they are going to sing.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by nortonrider

So.... when you left the first time, did you tell them why?

Yes, my gripes were well-known.

Originally Posted by nortonrider

The leader makes the calls, that's why he's the leader.

So I shouldn't stick up for myself?

Originally Posted by Craig_S

My only questions are how do you hold a groove when you sing...

Not a problem. And even if I were to wobble, the drummer plays to a click.

Originally Posted by Craig_S

...are you a better singer than the sound man?

That would be in the ear of the beholder. He's good, and I think he goes over well. On the other hand, I don't suck. I've been asked a number of times, by strangers, why I'm not singing more songs. So... ?

Originally Posted by Craig_S

There has to be a reason why the situation was as it was. It could be political. I don't know. What I do know is this: Just because someone likes to sing, doesn't mean he's good at it and the politics of friendship play into things far more than they should, sometimes.

Absolutely right on both points, and very delicately put! The bandleader and the soundman have been friends since they were teenagers 30 years ago. I met the bandleader in 2000, at my first gig with them. Might be a factor!
But I'm not saying I want him to sing less, even though I do feel it's weird that a soundman would get more songs than a full-time-onstage band member. I just want to sing a certain guaranteed minimum amount, and let the leader decide who sings less because of that.

[Lazylion]

Played a gig with them last night. It went well, I had a great time.
Everybody, including the band's ladies, was all over me to rejoin. That's one way to get some hugs! It was a nice ego boost, for sure. I asked the leader for a couple more days of patience.
Even the guy who's been subbing on bass (he was subbing on guitar) advised me to return, although this will put him out of the gig! How's that for altruistic?

[Lazylion]

I'm gonna bump this thread once, to see if more wisdom is forthcoming.

[CincyBassMan]

You would get more responses if this were in Band Management...

I have experienced having to fight to get to sing songs. I was in an acoustic/electric trio and I left because I was tired of them not including me as a third lead singer. We all sang backup, but the other two considered themselves as the "Lead Singers", that they were better lead singers and were always fighting each other over songs to sing. I would only get 1 or 2 a set. I felt I should/could do more since we were a trio and split pay equally.

In your situation, I am wondering if you are not being considered as a "Lead Singer" as well. They seem more interested in the Sound Guy singing lead. You are the "Bass Player", you being able to sing is a plus, but not necessary. Though the fact that they want you back does have merit.

My $0.02, Russ

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by CincyBassMan

You would get more responses if this were in Band Management...

Yeah, I figured it was one of the two...

[The Golden Boy]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

John Fogerty, fer Chrissakes! Is there anybody more universally liked and less threatening than Fogerty? It's not like it was Marilyn Manson or something! But I digress...)

I've heard he's kind of a jerk-

As mentioned in the Wiki Article:

John Fogerty, as writer of the songs for the band, felt that his musical opinions should count for more than those of the others, leading to resentments within the band.[1] These internal rifts, and Tom's feeling that he was being taken for granted, caused Tom to leave the group in January 1971. The two other group members, Stu and Doug, wanted a greater role in the band's future. Fogerty, in an attempt to keep things together, insisted bassist Stu Cook and drummer Doug Clifford share equal songwriting and vocal time on the band's final album, Mardi Gras, in 1972. They told him the fans would not accept it as a CCR LP, but he said, "My voice is a unique instrument, and I will not lend it to your songs." He gave them an ultimatum: either they would do it or he would quit immediately. They accepted his ultimatum, but the album received poor reviews and sold poorly. The group disbanded shortly afterwards. Their only reunion with all four original members would be at Tom Fogerty's wedding in 1980. John, Doug and Stu played a 45 minute set at their 20th class reunion in 1983, and John and Doug would reunite again for a brief set at their 25th class reunion in 1988.

[Lazylion]

So Stu and Doug wanted a greater role in the band's future, but they DIDN'T want to sing more or write more? What DID they want, then? To book the gigs?

Anyway, what I meant was that his music is universally liked, not him personally.