Selling a gift from my sister

WilliamSandoval · #1 06-20-2011, 06:00 PM

A few Christmases ago, back when I listened to metal, my sister gave me a BC Rich Warlock guitar. I don't like metal or the guitar anymore, and I want to trade it for a different guitar at a pawn shop or something. Would that be right? My sister got it from her friend for like 100 bucks or something. I don't want to be mean or make her mad or anything. I talked to my dad about it, and he got mad and said that there is no way he would let me sell it considering it was a gift. I don't want to be stuck with this guitar forever, and it's not like it's a watch that she wouldn't notice being gone. It's a guitar that she sees me play. She doesn't live with me though.

brendanbassist · #2 06-20-2011, 06:08 PM

Talk to her before you do anything. Maybe you could tell her that its helped you progress, and you want to sell it and use to proceeds to help pay for a new instrument that you can really use for a long time, and that the new guitar will basically still be a gift from her. I'll admit, I'm not much of a sentimental guy; I can see keeping small stuff like watches and things, but a guitar is kinda big to just keep around for sentimental value.

Ubersheist · #3 06-20-2011, 11:20 PM

There's pretty much no one here that can answer that question for you.

Why do you 'have to' sell it? You don't have to play metal on it, you know... Do you really need $100 at the potential expense of hurting your sister's feelings? Do you have other options for earning what might be considered by some as a relatively small amount of money? You may want to take a step back and figure out other ways to run your life so that $100 comes a whole lot easier to you then having to hurt your sister's feelings.

Munjibunga · #4 06-20-2011, 11:23 PM

It'd be the same thing as selling your sister. Would she like that? I don't think so.

OmnitzGarima · #5 06-20-2011, 11:25 PM

I don't remember where I read this, but it has helped me deal with similar situations - when somebody gives you a gift, you are obligated to express your thanks and appreciation. You are not obligated to hang on to it for the rest of your life.

That said, try to avoid hurting your sister's feelings.

**jmattbassplaya** · #6 06-20-2011, 11:27 PM

Sell it and use the money to buy something you'll actually use.

**pacojas** · #7 06-20-2011, 11:33 PM

(sell it and buy her something)

ShredderMaximus · #8 06-21-2011, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pacojas

(sell it and buy her something)

That *may* work, or it may be viewed as a regift that could be considerably worse. Be honest with her, tell her how much you appreciated her buying it for you but that you've outgrown it. Adding that you wanted to put the proceeds towards something that may improve your playing now, as opposed to having something just sitting in a closet collecting dust, may help her feel better about it too. Even better yet is to show her what you got and how useful and cool it is, and thanking her for it also.

I grew up with 2 sisters, the only thing I have left to say is good luck dude. Women is the craziest peoples.

ShredderMaximus · #9 06-21-2011, 01:06 AM

In all honesty though, I'd probably keep it, but I just suck at selling off my things. I was once offered a trade for one of my Squier Affinity P's (I have 2, one was my first bass, and one was a present from my Grandma) for a Washburn Lyon 5 string bass, but just couldn't do it cause I figured if I really wanted a cheap 5, I could just wait awhile and buy one and still have all my basses.

I don't know why, but walking into my room and seeing all my basses on their stands looking at me just puts me in my happy place. (weird, I know)
But thats just me. If your gentle enough about it, I doubt you'll have any problems at all.

cassanova · #10 06-21-2011, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamSandoval

A few Christmases ago, back when I listened to metal, my sister gave me a BC Rich Warlock guitar. I don't like metal or the guitar anymore, and I want to trade it for a different guitar at a pawn shop or something. Would that be right? My sister got it from her friend for like 100 bucks or something. I don't want to be mean or make her mad or anything.

Then don't sell it. Just tuck it away under your bed or somewhere else that you have some spare space.

I sold the first bass my parents ever got me. Didn't play it anymore and didn't regret it for quite some time, but there will come a time, that you'll more than likely regret getting rid of it. It's a nice memento, that one day will bring a smile to your face, and a very fond memory of your sister.

sound of bass · #11 06-21-2011, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShredderMaximus

In all honesty though, I'd probably keep it, but I just suck at selling off my things. I was once offered a trade for one of my Squier Affinity P's (I have 2, one was my first bass, and one was a present from my Grandma) for a Washburn Lyon 5 string bass, but just couldn't do it cause I figured if I really wanted a cheap 5, I could just wait awhile and buy one and still have all my basses.

I don't know why, but walking into my room and seeing all my basses on their stands looking at me just puts me in my happy place. (weird, I know)
But thats just me. If your gentle enough about it, I doubt you'll have any problems at all.

HA! Thats me exactly! Except mine are in the living room...on their stand. I guess Im weird too! Whew! Its not just me.

Kwesi · #12 06-21-2011, 02:12 AM

Talk to her. It's the only way to know for sure. I'm actually pretty thankful that I haven't been gifted a bass or a piece of bass gear for this exact reason. I tend to tear through basses that I actually like and pay for myself so a bass just given to me as a gift probably wouldn't last more than a few days, lol.

sound of bass · #13 06-21-2011, 02:26 AM

I wouldnt be able to do it. #1 Im a sentimental kinda guy. #2 Its another bass for the collection (good or bad) and #3 I couldnt hurt my sisters feelings. The bass isnt worth that much, what would you expect to get in a trade? I vote to keep it and save money for the upgrade you want.

hrodbert696 · #14 06-21-2011, 04:22 AM

+1 to talk to her first. Think of it like this: suppose someone had given you clothes for Christmas a couple of years ago. Now you've outgrown them. Would you feel obligated to hold onto clothes that no longer fit and are just taking up space in your closet? Honestly, if you're morally obligated to keep every gift anyone ever gave you forever, you're going to be hauling around a semi full of useless junk ten years from now.

Tell her that you really loved the gift, it was a great choice at the time, but since then your music is developing and now the Warlock doesn't really fit anymore. Would she mind if you sold it to buy an instrument that fits you better? Would she like to come along to help you pick out the new one? Maybe you could stencil her name on the back of the new one so that she sees that you still think of it as her gift to you.

Now, if she does look like she'd take offense, hold onto the bass for five years, and wait till she's forgotten about it to sell it. You might use it for modding all you want, too.

My first bass is a story kind of like that. I bought a used Ibanez 100 for myself off CL. It was about a month or six weeks before my birthday and my wife got mad at me for spending money (our budget is always pretty tight), so I said let it count as my birthday present. For my birthday, she actually bought me a gig bag for it. I practiced a lot and outgrew it, and when I got a five-string for Christmas from my mom, I sold the bass to help buy a better amp. Every once in a while my wife clucks at me for being so cold, selling her birthday present to me like that. It's not that big of an issue, but in retrospect I do wish I'd spoken to her about it ahead of time.

**TheMutt** · #15 06-21-2011, 04:27 AM

I sell or return gifts all the time. However I always explain beforehand with the person who gave me the gift why I am moving it on, or need to return it. I'd say about 90% of the time the other person is understanding. The other 10% of the time, I usually don't get another gift from that person (usually ends up being a gift card, or cash... but cash is usually what I prefer for a gift anyways).

Rockmusician · #16 06-21-2011, 04:29 AM

I would keep it. If she paid $100 for it, you will probably get less than $50 in trade or at a pawn shop. Is it really worth hurting her feelings? You might be able to use it as a backup and there is a possibility that your taste in music could change again and you will wish that you kept the guitar.

Gaius46 · #17 06-21-2011, 04:38 AM

I'd keep it. I don't exchange or return gifts except in the case of clothes that don't fit and then I exchange it for the exact same thing in the right size if at all possible.

I assume that the person who bought it put some thought into it and wanted to give me that specific item. Returning it could hurt their feelings and strikes me as wrong.

lindseyp · #18 06-21-2011, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamSandoval

A few Christmases ago, back when I listened to metal, my sister gave me a BC Rich Warlock guitar. ...

I agree with talking to her first so she won't feel bad.
For that reason, when I give something substantial I let the recipient know that if they decide they don't want it later they should try selling it and spend the money. That way I've eliminated any guilt feelings that person may have.

**pacojas** · #19 06-21-2011, 07:51 AM

(get a job)

WilliamSandoval · #20 06-21-2011, 02:19 PM

I do play it, and that's the reason why I want to trade it. It sucks to play. There is nothing to it! There is 1 volume knob, and 1 humbucker. All the other cheap guitars I have played in my lifetime have been so much better to play. They were actually fun. I just want a cheap $50 used strat copy that I can mod, that would be fun to have. There is nothing to mod on mine. And it's not like my sister was hoping that I would like it; I had wanted a warlock for years prior. Now, I like blues and Steppenwolf, and Jefferson Airplane, etc. How many times have you seen a blues guitarist go on stage with a Warlock? 0. I mostly play bass now, you could say that it's my primary instrument, but I still like the guitar too; so it's not like its just collecting dust somewhere in the garage. I like to think of it as upgrading...