So here's one for the Gipper.

Munjibunga · #1 03-26-2006, 01:09 PM

This is for all you victims out there, so you can see how a Marine would cope in the face of adversity.

Last night I decided to make some of my world-famous spaghetti sauce for my family. Now usually, I make a very rustic sauce, with larger chunks of tomato, peppers, animal, mushrooms, etc. But last night, I felt that something a little smoother would be nice. You know, break up the ground animal a little finer, puree the tomatoes a bit, maybe grate the onions rather than dice them.

Ahhh, yes, grate the onions. We have a pretty nice grater, one with a little container at the bottom to catch all the gratings. So I peel the onion, and slice it in two, and get down to grating. It makes kind of a nice little puree of onion, that I cook right with the meat. Except tonight, the puree will have a small fragment of fingertip in it.

Yes sir, my finger slipped off the onion and, sure enough, that little grater took about a sixteenth-inch-deep nick right out of the very tip of my right-hand bone finger. It's about a quarter-inch long and a sixteenth wide. Now, for a victim, this is a potential lawsuit against the manufacturer of the grater, the grower of the onion, and the store who sold them to me. For a non-bass-playing Marine, it's inconsequential ... just a source of minor pain to be enjoyed.

But there are complications. For one, I take the rat-poison, warfarin, to thin my blood. Coagualtion is difficult for me. I'm standing there, bleeding like a stuck pig, applying pressure, trying to get the bleeding to stop. When it slows down, I put two bandaids across the tip of my finger and, within a few minutes, they're both soaked through with blood. So I left them on for a while, then after it quit bleeding, I took them off. Of course, the bandaid had stuck to the wound, so the bleeding started back up.

OK, so it was easier to get it to stop this time, and I rounded up some liquid bandage. I laid a thick layer over the gash, and applied two fresh bandaids and left them on all night. OK, so this morning, the edges of the wound are now turning white from being dead skin, but the bleeding is under control.

You're probably wondering, "How is this miscellaneous?"

Alrighty then. Problem number two. Of course, my right bone finger is half of the team I use for finger-style picking, which is pretty much all I do. No prob, under ordinary circumstances, but this Wednesday night is the audition for a keyboard player that could be the last component of my new band, Silverback. Of course, he's auditioning us as much as we are him, so I want to be at my best. That, plus I have ten songs to learn by Wednesday (although I already know some of them).

So what am I going to do? I'm going to take off the bandaids, add a little liquid bandage, and play my new white Sadowsky. If it starts to bleed, it'll look great dripping down that white paint. That's right, I'm going to tough it out. So all you whiners, shut up.

Actually, I was thinking about getting one of those little rubber fingertip thingies that bank tellers use when they're counting money, and put that on my bone finger but, no, I'm just going to take a chance.

P.S. So would you rather read this, or McFerrin on economics?

georgestrings · #2 03-26-2006, 01:36 PM

1st - I'm sorry to hear of your misfortune - digit accidents are the worst for us stringed instrument players... 2nd - between now and then, I'd do everything I could to promote healing - wash it out with warm soapy water once or twice a day, pour some Hyrogen Peroxide on it, then apply some anti-bacterial ointment on it - and leave it uncovered as much as possible(air promotes healing) - as long as you're not pursuing an activity that'll break it back open, or introduce contaminants into the wound... That being said, I'm sure the keyboard player can understand the situation - he's probably been in it before, too... I'd either tape it up sparingly just before playing, or use some Liquid Skin on it - and I'd do my best not to mess up a nice bass because of a little bad luck...

Good luck,

- georgestrings

Munjibunga · #3 03-26-2006, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgestrings

1st - I'm sorry to hear of your misfortune - digit accidents are the worst for us stringed instrument players... 2nd - between now and then, I'd do everything I could to promote healing - wash it out with warm soapy water once or twice a day, pour some Hyrogen Peroxide on it, then apply some anti-bacterial ointment on it - and leave it uncovered as much as possible(air promotes healing) - as long as you're not pursuing an activity that'll break it back open, or introduce contaminants into the wound... That being said, I'm sure the keyboard player can understand the situation - he's probably been in it before, too... I'd either tape it up sparingly just before playing, or use some Liquid Skin on it - and I'd do my best not to mess up a nice bass because of a little bad luck...

Good luck,

- georgestrings

George, I'm not fishing for sympathy, I'm telling you how tough I am. I've done/am doing all the things you said. Don't worry about me, Chuck Norris is on my side.

Thanks for your thoughts, though.

georgestrings · #4 03-26-2006, 02:01 PM

Yeah, I figured that, Munji - just thought I'd try to be helpful... Hell, if ya got Chuck on your side, you're all set...

I'm still wishing you luck, anyways...

- georgestrings

**SoComSurfing** · #5 03-26-2006, 02:04 PM

Well, I'd have to say I'd prefer this over Peter's econ. babblings.
PS - those textured finger thingies we used at the bank are a HUGE pain in the butt, IMO. I never could feel comfortable using one at work, and couldn't imagine trying to play with one.

Herman · #6 03-26-2006, 02:07 PM

How did the spaghetti sauce taste?

dharma · #7 03-26-2006, 02:07 PM

Hey Munjibunga, drop and give me 50. And suck it up.

kegbarnacle · #8 03-26-2006, 02:42 PM

Eh, a ranger wouldn't of even bothered posting a thread.

arbitrary · #9 03-26-2006, 02:53 PM

want a sticker you attention driven pansie?

superbassman2000 · #10 03-26-2006, 03:14 PM

i don't know if you were telling us you wanted sympathy or how tough you were, but the one thing i've learned from this thread is to not eat at Munji's house.

Munjibunga · #11 03-26-2006, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by superbassman2000

i don't know if you were telling us you wanted sympathy or how tough you were, but the one thing i've learned from this thread is to not eat at Munji's house.

The sauce was great ... I just had leftovers for lunch. When I looked at my finger, the gouged-out flesh was hanging there by a thread, so I pulled it off. But when my daughter, who's eight, found a piece of seasoning in the sauce, I told her it looked like the piece that came out of my finger. She wiped it on her napkin and kept eating. Yes, the sauce was that good.

Skeletomania · #12 03-26-2006, 06:40 PM

I know Marines are tough. As a member of the armed force you're entitled to something we all try to get. That's free health care. Next time try using it, and your finger might heal sooner.

Munjibunga · #13 03-26-2006, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeletomania

I know Marines are tough. As a member of the armed force you're entitled to something we all try to get. That's free health care. Next time try using it, and your finger might heal sooner.

I'm a vet from the Viet Nam era, so I don't get full military bennies. But don't worry, I'll be OK.

d8g3jdh · #14 03-26-2006, 07:54 PM

So tough that you whine to a bunch of strangers!

Peter McFerrin · #15 03-26-2006, 08:01 PM

Heinous, man, heinous. I hereby sympathize.

But now I'm thinking about that South Park episode again, since pasta sauce and chili are of a kind.

**cheezewiz** · #16 03-26-2006, 08:03 PM

Well, when I get hit with a bout of tendonitis in my right hand, which seems to occur with regularity every few months, I am forced to *gasp*, play with a pick.

PS. This is much better than anything McFerrin has ever posted.

**Ryan L.** · #17 03-26-2006, 09:26 PM

Only a man with a post count such as yours could handle this so well.

Bassmanbob · #18 03-26-2006, 10:06 PM

Disclaimer: The following advise is given in a non-professional manner. I am not a wound care specialist who treats finger injuries. If this advise is not helping within a day or two, seek professional help.

Munji:

1. Please don't use hydrogen peroxide. It will only macerate good healthy tissue. It is good at helping to remove debris from a wound and kill most types of bacteria, but it will kill the very cells that are trying to heal the wound.

2. Don't keep it exposed to the air and let it dry out. When a wound dries, it also kills the cell that are trying to heal the wound. This is one of the oldest wives tales ever. A dry wound heals more slowly and heals with a greater scar.

2. Keep a bandage on it with some Neosporin, Bacitracin or Triple Antibiotic Ointment, but not a lot. You are not icing a cake. That will make it too moist and also kill healthy tissue.

3. As far as the bandage, I'd use one or two 2X2 guaze pads. Fold them in half so they are 1X2 and place it over the wound so that part is on the top of the finger, the tip of the finger and the rest on the bottom of the finger. Use 2" kling (roll guaze) to roll it around the finger and a little at the tip. Make sure it's not too tight. Change the bandage daily and cleanse the wound with saline solution for irrigation (not the kind for eyes). This bandage will probably allow you to play too. Just play over the bandage unless you begin to have a problem.

4. If you begin to have redness, swelling, increased local temperature or a red streak going up the finger, don't hesitate to call your doctor-- you may be developing an infection. If he/she doesn't feel comfortable treating it, see a plastic surgeon or a wound care specialist.

Good luck,

Bob

dharma · #19 03-26-2006, 10:33 PM

Nah, it's a tribute to his strange obsession with the missing link, i.e. his new avatar, his old avatar, etc.

Munjibunga has a thing for monkies.

Peter McFerrin · #20 03-26-2006, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheezewiz

PS. This is much better than anything McFerrin has ever posted.

It's true, though.