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  #1  
Old 07-18-2009, 01:12 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mesa, Arizona
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That's it, I finally lost it :(

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My mother in law was here tonight and asked if I could play my "guitar" (I tried to explain several times that I play bass, but you know what I mean).

My wife asked me to be polite and at least play something for even 5 minutes, even if it is something stupid.

Issue is my stack is at my drummer's house, except for the head which is in my car (I don't want anybody to screw with it).

No practice amp, I use a Pandora on my PC to practice at home, that way I don't bother anyone.

I told her it was not technically possible and my stepson also explained that I play bass, it's not going to be entertaining on its own (I am not one of those 5-string magicians like Riendeau et. al., ok).

Issue is my wife insisted and at the 3rd request, I sort of yelled to leave me alone, and then, well, you know where it went (long week, tired, external reason to not be too cool tonight) and now I am an "a word".

I did tell my MIL I would invite her at our next family gig (for friends and families, you know, that's all we want to do for the moment) but the damage is done.

Man, women can aggravate you sometimes (sorry, ladies, but it's hard sometimes), but I think I could have been a bit cooler.

Anyway, what can I do? Flowers, etc...
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Old 07-18-2009, 01:51 AM
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Dude I've been in your shoes many times before...it's a long road to reform haha.

I'd start by reassigning blame away from the women (they don't aggravate YOU, you GET aggravagted BY them!), getting my gear out for next time, and maybe apologising to the ladies for going off at them for just wanting to hear me do something I apparantly enjoy (but not enough to go to the hassle of showing them). Which is actually quite encouraging to hear.

My MIL couldn't give a toss seeing what I do, and the only reason my missus goes to shows is to ensure I don't play up on her.
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Last edited by Depth_Charge : 07-18-2009 at 01:58 AM.
  #3  
Old 07-18-2009, 01:55 AM
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that video LIES
 
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Location: Northern California
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What can be done(IMO):

HUGE apology. Firstly, you were wrong: You do play guitar- bass guitar. Second, there's no pont in being angry w/someone over their ignorance(& desire to hear your music). I might have demonstrated that playing a bass(guitar)w/o an amp was not very audible & likely not very entertaining by doing just that(playing w/o an amp), answering(again- IMO)all stupid questions as tactfully as possible.
Keep in mind that you don't only marry a person, you marry their entire family- to some extent.
Last bit: Only take this advice(from a veteran of 16 years of marriage- so far )if you ever want to sleep w/your wife again.
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Old 07-18-2009, 01:58 AM
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Sounds like a great excuse to buy an acoustic. 8)
  #5  
Old 07-18-2009, 02:01 AM
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Apologizing only goes so far....if this happens on a regular basis when you're tired, etc. I suggest you find some way to not only deal with this situation, but, in general, other situations where you feel some pressure is being put on you and you react badly.

I had to learn the hard way but learning to calm oneself can be a great asset to your life and to those around you.
  #6  
Old 07-18-2009, 03:29 AM
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Location: Finland (Northern Europe)
Hi.

^Yep, anger/stress handling management could perhaps be in order.

Take a look at this thread:

Catchiest bass lines?

And this, much much shorter :

Looking for campfire type suitable songs

Anything even remotely playable?

How about "Greensleeves", "Hall Of The Mountain King", "Snowman", any Bach really?

You sure can play some of those.

Look at it this way, the relative silentness of an electric bass requires all the other people in the room to be silent, focus on YOU doing what YOU like to do. Or is that a part of the problem, being the center of attention?

If there's a desperate need for an amplification, any home stereo system can handle bass if one is careful with the volume and EQ. Just purchase a RCA-Mono Plug cord and be done with it.
Also any computer speaker system can handle a bit of bass, You'll just need a 1/8" to 1/4" adapter.

The fact that You didn't think of these points to the observation by Stumbo, or You're simply don't want the attention.

Regards
Sam
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