Throwing in the Towel

wellshuxley · #1 04-03-2010, 02:04 PM

A few days ago I decided to throw in the proverbial towel and trade my country side man gig for another crack at a degree. I don't have a specific reason for posting this, and I apologize in advance for going into more detail than is necessary to convey my point. It's more my own need to sort through everything in writing, but hopefully my story will provide some insight for those walking or considering walking a path.

For the past year or so I've been receiving a regular paycheck for playing bass. It's enough to get by on, about on par with an entry level job in Nashville, and I get paid even when I'm not actually on the road. I am extremely grateful to have had this opportunity, but I've ultimately decided that life "on the road" is not for me.

I left school after my first semester in 2005 to record an album in Los Angeles with my high school band. A reasonably well-known producer with a great track record was involved, but the situation eventually devolved into into a stereotypical mishmash of artistic conflict, contract issues, power shifts, etc. and the album never came out. Full of youthful enthusiasm, my band moved to Nashville in search of a balance between our easygoing hometown in North Carolina and the ample networking opportunities of a big city like Los Angeles. We procured menial jobs and decided to go at it the old-fashioned, grass roots way. We had some success - bought a van, toured regionally/nationally, landed a few choice opening slots, recorded an EP, played SXSW a few times - but I grew weary of the struggling musician lifestyle and decided to take an audition with an "on the brink" country duo.

All signs pointed to a quick and easy ascent up the pop country ladder. A certain Country Music Television network that shall remain nameless was backing the project and a huge Nashville producer had already begun work on the album (albums recorded in Nashville rarely if ever involve the touring band). And, most importantly, the artists in question were quite talented, youthful and willing to work hard. I got the gig, along with a very talented drummer who is also one of my best friends, and it seemed like a dream ticket.

Things have gone well, but I'm not playing arenas on a daily basis. I'm still playing with these guys and enjoy doing so. In fact, I could see myself perfectly content in this exact position a year or two from now. The outlook is less appealing, however, five years down the road: even if everything goes swimmingly and the band is hugely successful, do I want to be in and out of town constantly, with little to no control over my own schedule as I'm thinking about getting married and having kids? Will I be happy and fulfilled performing songs about teen romance and the virtues of small town life in front of a bunch of people half my age? The answer, in my case, is no.

This is the end game for the side musician. More gigs, more touring, more money. I realized that in order to move up the ladder, I'd always have to play with artists that lost of people are willing to pay to see. Don't get me wrong, I like some popular artists, but that may not always be the case. There certainly are musicians out there making a great living doing exactly what they want to do, when they want to do it (a band like Wilco comes to mind), but they are vastly outnumbered by those who got where they are precisely because they were willing to compromise both personally and professionally.

So, I've decided to go back to school and pursue a degree in Audio Engineering Technology with the goal of working in sound design for movies/tv/video games, a field I've always been interested in but never made the time to explore. This is arguably just another unattainable pipe dream, a variation on the same theme, but it's at least a dream I can see myself happily fulfilling. What good is a dream in which the pinnacle of achievement is cringe-inducing? That's the track I was on, and I can't believe it took me five years to realize it. I'm excited to finally have the freedom to dictate my own schedule and make music on my own terms.

Most Americans would consider a career as a performing musician a fantasy and an education the more responsible, safe path. I think I have experienced the opposite. I spent the past few years following my peers from gig to gig, never having to make decisions for myself and not bothering to question my actions. Now, realizing how out of sync my chosen career has been with my personality and my personal goals, I have decided to rearrange my life and pursue something I've always dreamed of doing and possibly been too scared to do, which happens to involve going to school and getting my first bachelor's degree.

Has anyone had a similar experience, or perhaps an inverse experience (leaving an established career track to pursue music)? Once again, sorry for rambling on. If you've managed to read this far I'm sure you think I'm a narcissistic jerk! In any case, I know I'll keep playing bass and continue visiting talkbass for tech talk, smack talk and bonafide confessionals.

::::BASSIST:::: · #2 04-03-2010, 02:31 PM

Thanks for sharing.

I've had a very different experience. I forced myself to finish my degree, which I finally got done in 2004, and THEN join a band. I knew I wouldnt be able to give full concentration to my studies with the demands of being in a band competing for my time... given that I have a family and need to fit work in there somewhere as well. I made the right decision for sure as now I have a good career as an educator/teacher and yet still gig with my band up to 6 times per month.

TrevorOfDoom · #3 04-03-2010, 02:36 PM

i can dig. i've dropped a gig or two to spend some "Me Time", invest in something bigger than music, figure out what i'm doing.
we gotta do it, or we go crazy!
Good luck, and Godspeed!!

p.s. where can i audition for the project you just dropped?

ggunn · #4 04-03-2010, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wellshuxley

A few days ago I decided to throw in the proverbial towel and trade my country side man gig for another crack at a degree.
[...]
Has anyone had a similar experience, or perhaps an inverse experience (leaving an established career track to pursue music)? Once again, sorry for rambling on. If you've managed to read this far I'm sure you think I'm a narcissistic jerk! In any case, I know I'll keep playing bass and continue visiting talkbass for tech talk, smack talk and bonafide confessionals.

My story is in some ways similar. About 25 years ago I was making my living as a sound man. I had built a name for myself and I was getting a lot of work. I was making pretty good money, considering, but if I looked at it on a per hour basis and counted all the time I was riding around in or driving a van, waiting around, etc., it wasn't that lucrative and not likely to get a whole lot better. I had a wife and baby daughter at home and I wasn't getting to spend much quality time with them, and furthermore, I wasn't getting much chance to play music, which was what got me into the sound gig in the first place. I made the decision to return to school and get my BSEE degree and use that to get a "real job", and relegate music to a sideline role in my life. It worked out well for me; I have a studio built in my garage, and I play and record all the time.

YMMV, of course.

whocaresnotme · #5 04-03-2010, 03:46 PM

Finish school, Brother. Music will always be there when you are ready to come back to it.

Education and a resulting good paying job is always a fall back and gives you something to offer your potential wife and safety and security for the resulting children.

Good luck and thanks for an excellent story.

Marley's Ghost · #6 04-03-2010, 03:59 PM

I quit playing in bands in 1979 when disco and punk pretty much elbowed out the hard rock club scene. I finished college,started a career, got married, moved to another state, and fathered three kids. In 2001 I came back with a vengeance. Just gigging part time, but having waay more fun without the drugs and the drama.

mr.hughes · #7 04-03-2010, 04:14 PM

Fair play to you. I think it takes a lot of guts to walk away from music, or more importantly - to walk away from your dreams. The music business is full of 'what if?'s that can keep you trapped there. I applaud you for taking this new path and leaving the old one behind.

wellshuxley · #8 04-03-2010, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr.hughes

Fair play to you. I think it takes a lot of guts to walk away from music, or more importantly - to walk away from your dreams. The music business is full of 'what if?'s that can keep you trapped there. I applaud you for taking this new path and leaving the old one behind.

Definitely still full of "what if's" - I just got to a point where imagining a huge amount of success after my departure didn't really bother me one way or the other. Good to know others have had similar experiences and come out on top

KeithPas · #9 04-03-2010, 07:12 PM

Thanks for sharing your story, at least you have had the opportunity to experience life on the road and are thus in a position to decide if it is or if it is not for you. Best of luck.

MIJ-VI · #10 04-04-2010, 10:55 PM

"If ya don't feel it, don't deal it."

- unknown

MusserMusic · #11 04-04-2010, 11:34 PM

Sounds like you're living life to it's fullest. Most people never take a chance to follow a dream...it seems to me you not only chased one but three...Musician, Audio Engineering Degree AND perhaps marrying someone you love/raising a family! I don't know how many times I chased something only to find out it wasn't what I wanted or didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted when I got it BUT I'm glad I tried and that's LIVING the dream...winning the LOTTO in life is 1 in a million. Sometimes it's not the destination, it's the journey...other than the girl, I don't want to reach the destination, what would I do after THAT? Best wishes on your new dream bass bro! Go get it!

kesslari · #12 04-04-2010, 11:43 PM

I have a similar story - 20 years ago, I saw myself with the same "end game" - nominally successful and self-supporting musician, but generally always just scraping by. I realized that I didn't have the skills (and wasn't pursuing them - e.g., reading in particular) that might have helped me get to the next rarefied level in music.
So i got a degree in Psychology that started the ball rolling into my current profession (software development, yeah, it's a long story). I earn 5x or more the income that musicians where I was at are earning with far less stress about it. I play music that I love with people that I enjoy, because I don't have to take a gig to pay my rent or mortgage. On top of that, I got to take a great ride in the craziness that is the music business, met and played with some phenomenal people, and don't have the big "what if I had..." questions that can plague people later in life.
So it worked out for me. Here's hoping it does for you as well.

MirageBass · #13 04-05-2010, 01:49 AM

I dodged a bullet when I decided to go to college instead of screwing around with my band. They broke up two months later because they were mostly sycophants and egomaniacs.

Now, I'm about a year away from my degree that will allow me to pull a very respectable five figure salary in the video game industry, currently interning and very happy with my work. I'm still best friends with the drummer, who is now an up-and-coming session drummer in LA who is getting a degree in Ethnomusicology. We play together in bands as hired guns when we're both in town, get paid, and are very happy with our positions in life while being artistically fulfilled.

The rest of my bandmates have gone nowhere.

Life is funny sometimes. Also, schadenfreude-tastic.

wellshuxley · #14 04-05-2010, 08:31 PM

Lots of good stories! I should have figured as much on talkbass

Geddyfleaharris · #15 04-05-2010, 08:58 PM

I am 46. Left playing full time when I was 21. Went to work for the family business. Today I am 1/2 owner of a fairly successful business, live more than comfortably, can pretty much buy any and all the bass gear that I want. Play in a couple of weekend warrior cover bands. Life is good.

My one regret in life? My one big what if?.......

*Keeping in mind that I have been twice married (no regrets), no kids (no regrets), went through hellish personal financial troubles 10 years ago (no regrets) business decisions both good and bad (no regrets).

......was that I didn't give music more of a shot back when I was in my 20s. Honestly my one and only big regret.

At least you took a pretty good swing at the bat.

ggunn · #16 04-05-2010, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geddyfleaharris

I am 46. Left playing full time when I was 21. Went to work for the family business. Today I am 1/2 owner of a fairly successful business, live more than comfortably, can pretty much buy any and all the bass gear that I want. Play in a couple of weekend warrior cover bands. Life is good.

My one regret in life? My one big what if?.......

*Keeping in mind that I have been twice married (no regrets), no kids (no regrets), went through hellish personal financial troubles 10 years ago (no regrets) business decisions both good and bad (no regrets).

......was that I didn't give music more of a shot back when I was in my 20s. Honestly my one and only big regret.

At least you took a pretty good swing at the bat.

The road not taken. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have made better decisions and (maybe) I'd be better off. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his @$$ every time he jumps.

Never look back. Trust me, there are scads of moderately successful musicians who would trade lives with you in a heartbeat. If you have financial security and artistic satisfaction in your life, you have won the lottery.

Dr. Cheese · #17 04-05-2010, 09:39 PM

OP, whatever you do, there will be woulda, coulda, shoulda, scenarios in your head. At least they would be in mine. Like my minister says, you have anything you want, you just can't have everything you want.

i_got_a_mohawk · #18 04-06-2010, 08:42 AM

You can keep playing music while you study.

There is a plethora of users here at various levels of higher education who all still (at least try) to maintain a music gig.

Gotta have something to keep you sane!

Bassbarbie · #19 04-06-2010, 09:01 AM

It sounds like you could always come back to it later as a professional - you have the experience and skills sorted.

Music has always been a hobby for me - not that I was good enough for anything else ... but when gigs become a chore, it's time to lay off for a bit. I do it for fun!

You could probably find some fellow students to enjoy playing with while you're studying.

Good luck!

Honk'n_down-low · #20 04-06-2010, 10:20 AM

I gave up Music pursued a Career in Technology - because I saw the chances of making a good living in Music being slim in spite of being in a good band with a lot of good material.

I have made a good living as a result - but missed not playing and regret the time I spent away from it and the time lost as a result. You have to follow your heart - and determine what your priorities are. Sometimes taking a breather and standing back gives you better perspective. If possible, I would suggest that you keep your hand in the playing side while pursuing your studies.