Tired of playing out...

Sundogue · #1 10-27-2009, 03:40 PM

It's been a while since I've posted.

I am completely apathetic about playing out anymore. I have gigs, and I play them but I really don't care much anymore. I'm tired of the music, the venues and honestly music in general is just a drag. I can't even bring myself to listen to the radio.

I have a Halloween gig this weekend and I'd rather not even play. I play in a classic rock band and all the music seems retarded to me now (at age 48). The last thing I want to do is go on stage and "rawk". It's really more an embarassment to be playing such juvenile music. I saw some videos of some local bands with older members and they just look like fools to me now and I feel like that's me as well.

When I am onstage, I still enjoy the sound of the rhythm section, but the music itself is just something I can't identify with anymore.

When the hell did I grow up?

Any ideas on how to light a fire under me, where I can at least get through the rest of the gigs booked this year without looking totally bored or feeling awkward onstage playing music that has no appeal for me any longer?

Heck I don't want to play any music anymore. I'm just tired of the band scene after 30 years of it. No desire to play/learn a new style, record or anything. It all feels like drudgery.

I owe it to the band to fulfill the booked gigs yet I can't bring myself to quit after that either as I'm using it as part time income too. Ugh. It's like a disdainful job now.

Any suggestions?

EDIT: I'm also a professional artist and I'm really into that and spending time with my wife and kids, so I have a creative outlet and life is great otherwise.

stflbn · #2 10-27-2009, 03:46 PM

Take a break.

or

Do something different musically.

or

Do an additional side project that more rewarding.

or

Let the band in on what you're feeling and possibly they'll be open to revising some things to make it more appealing to you. Or maybe you'll even find out they feel the same way.

Lesfunk · #3 10-27-2009, 03:52 PM

I suggest you stop playing out if that's what you want. If you need the bread though....Guess you should keep doing it or come up with a more satisfying way of making some extra coin.
I get tired of playing covers in clubs and weddings, but compared with working in a straight job.... It ain't so bad.

Sundogue · #4 10-27-2009, 03:52 PM

As far as taking a break...I never even pick up my bass between gigs...at all. I don't even listen to music.

No desire to play anything different musically either.

Already have a "side" project as my artwork is already far more appealing and rewarding.

Not sure if I want to go there (sharing with the band) yet. I need the extra income from the band for a while yet. No way anything will change regarding the music.

I need to find a way to just get through these upcoming gigs without looking totally disinterested...i.e. - fake it, I guess.

ryco · #5 10-27-2009, 04:23 PM

maybe find some others to play with as a lark. Not a band for playing out, but a group to play & write what gives you satisfaction.

But yeah -- if you don't want to play and it don't float yer boat anymore, just stop when you feel your financial concerns are under control.

Don't fake it - listen to your drummer and lay down the best groove you two can since that factor seems to bring you satisfaction.

I rarely play out in rock 'n roll bar bands anymore for the same reason -- basically the same set list that I was playing in high school in the 70s. But hey - that's pretty much what the bar crowd wanna hear.

I have other musical projects to keep me happy.

Sundogue · #6 10-27-2009, 04:43 PM

Yeah, I've explored doing some light lounge gig...no PA, no real setup hassles, and the music is more appealing.

But...I still have the "rawk" gigs to fulfill. And yes, all I can really focus on to get through a gig is locking in with the drummer, fall into the low end trance and just let that carry me. I don't really have to fake that, but my apathy is becoming apparent to everyone as I'm like a different person onstage now where everyone (band and members of the crowd who have seen us) asks what's wrong with me.

I do feel better about it once I'm actually at the gig but it's wearing on me.

Perhaps I should just talk with the band and tell them I'm thinking of hanging it up...though I don't want to "retire" and regret it. Hmmm....sounds like Favre.

jenderfazz · #7 10-27-2009, 04:50 PM

i feel the same way at the moment. i'm not in a band (by choice) and that's fine. i can jam with some friends when i want to. i think you're due for a break. if you never play bass again, that's a shame, but i think you'll pick it up again within a year. don't be afraid to let it go.

as for the gigs, all i can suggest is to try playing each one like it's your last. i don't mean "smash your bass" at the end of the set

but try to remember what you liked about music and do your best to sound good. kind of a last hurrah of sorts. each gig will feel like a weight off your shoulders anyhow.

Sundogue · #8 10-27-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenderfazz

as for the gigs, all i can suggest is to try playing each one like it's your last. i don't mean "smash your bass" at the end of the set

but try to remember what you liked about music and do your best to sound good. kind of a last hurrah of sorts. each gig will feel like a weight off your shoulders anyhow.

You know it's funny you should say that because that's how I live my life otherwise (like each day were my last), which is exactly why I don't pick up my bass unless it's for a gig (waste of time). I seldom do anything that doesn't have some meaning for me...and right now rock music doesn't. But I'm also not irresponsible towards my bandmates either. I honor my commitments.

Yes, perhaps if I feel like I'm hanging it up, might as well just "rawk out". ROTFLMAO! But that is just so NOT me anymore. Maybe I'll just do the Entwistle stance and hang back while I play. If I tell them, perhaps it will lighten my mental burden of feeling this way and however it shakes out, well...it is whatever it is, then.

ggunn · #9 10-27-2009, 05:29 PM

I reached a similar point a few years ago. I was with a fairly lucrative cover band for quite a while, and keeping my music money separate from my day job income, I was able to buy some really nice toy... um, I mean tools. But how many times can one play "YMCA" and "Play That Funky Music White Boy" to drunken wedding crowds and pretend to enjoy it?

So I quit that band and joined up with a songwriter friend; it was just him and me for a while until we attracted some more folks who got into the spirit of what we were up to, and voila! I got a new lease on my musical life. We make almost no money, but I love what we are doing, and when we play a cover, it's something we like instead of what might make the mother of the bride get up and shake it.

Maybe the music trip is over for you, but maybe not. Sometimes a change is all you need.

Sundogue · #10 10-27-2009, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggunn

I reached a similar point a few years ago. I was with a fairly lucrative cover band for quite a while, and keeping my music money separate from my day job income, I was able to buy some really nice toy... um, I mean tools. But how many times can one play "YMCA" and "Play That Funky Music White Boy" to drunken wedding crowds and pretend to enjoy it?

So I quit that band and joined up with a songwriter friend; it was just him and me for a while until we attracted some more folks who got into the spirit of what we were up to, and voila! I got a new lease on my musical life. We make almost no money, but I love what we are doing, and when we play a cover, it's something we like instead of what might make the mother of the bride get up and shake it.

Maybe the music trip is over for you, but maybe not. Sometimes a change is all you need.

Yeah, some of it is the trip being over. Some of it is the music itself just not jiving with where my life is at. I mean, seriously, I do not relate to rockin' songs about partying and girls, girls, girls anymore. I have a wonderful wife and four kids and one day I wake up and realize this kind of music just blows.

But I also do not have time to invest in a new musical project. My current band does no rehearsing anymore and we gig 2 to 4 times a month and even that is too much time away from things that mean more to me. Getting involved in a new musical project might be appealling, but there really is no time for that. Sigh.

ggunn · #11 10-27-2009, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Yeah, some of it is the trip being over. Some of it is the music itself just not jiving with where my life is at. I mean, seriously, I do not relate to rockin' songs about partying and girls, girls, girls anymore. I have a wonderful wife and four kids and one day I wake up and realize this kind of music just blows.

But I also do not have time to invest in a new musical project. My current band does no rehearsing anymore and we gig 2 to 4 times a month and even that is too much time away from things that mean more to me. Getting involved in a new musical project might be appealling, but there really is no time for that. Sigh.

Well then, what's the complaint? If you're doing what you want to be doing, good for you. If you're not, then change it.

BTW, I haven't played a song about partying all night or girls, girls, girls in many years. My favorite cover song these days is about a dead cat, two lonely women, and X-rated movies. ;^)

Sundogue · #12 10-27-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggunn

Well then, what's the complaint? If you're doing what you want to be doing, good for you. If you're not, then change it.

It isn't a complaint as much as a plea for some help on how to deal with my apathy for the music I'm playing. And it's not just the music, but the whole gig scene. I'm committed to quite a few gigs and I'm just wondering how to fulfill that commitment without ending up just flat out burning out and quitting (which would leave them high and dry with booked gigs well into next year).

Other aspects of my life not withstanding, the music scene has become a boring, tiring drag for me. [OK...now that was a complaint].

trailer · #13 10-27-2009, 08:02 PM

If you don't enjoy it anymore you gotta tell the band, maybe they feel the same way or maybe they can figure out a way to light a fire under ya.

Sundogue · #14 10-27-2009, 08:42 PM

My 16 year old son just took up practicing the guitar again tonight (after a few years off) and wants me to give him lessons. He's a big AC/DC fan.

Hmmm...interesting that I would be feeling this way and he wants to learn again. Can't let him down now, can I?

"Hey son, let's rawk!"

PBass101 · #15 10-27-2009, 10:45 PM

I don't understand the complaint. If you don't want to do it anymore, don't. Maybe you'll eventually get "the drive" to play out again, maybe you won't.

In either case it's not like you're pulling the plug on a dying relative, you're quitting a bar-room cover band.

Sundogue · #16 10-28-2009, 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PBass101

I don't understand the complaint. If you don't want to do it anymore, don't. Maybe you'll eventually get "the drive" to play out again, maybe you won't.

In either case it's not like you're pulling the plug on a dying relative, you're quitting a bar-room cover band.

Yeah, a bar-room cover band that has been together for 16 years...one of the most (if not THE most) popular bands around our area and one that I've been a part of for five years.

I care about these people. We are booked up and I made a commitment to play those booked gigs and there are not a lot of options for good bass players to replace me (not that they couldn't with time).

Funny thing about being a responsible adult...it isn't all about me. Thus my dilemma. I feel a little more inspired by my son, but as to myself, I'm not loooking forward to the gig this weekend and it will be a big, packed house halloween gig...which normally would make me want to play with enthusiasm.

NickyBass · #17 10-28-2009, 05:57 AM

I would suggest checking out a new style of music....Salsa, tango, jazz, fusion, bollywood, classical, rap, funk, country, broadway, pop, samba, bossa nova....anything. Find something that you enjoy. Some of these styles lend themselves to, well, different venues too.

Or, maybe, try a new instrument. Fretless, 6er, fannned frets...anything. Try to make your current gig more interesting or more challenging.

p-bass · #18 10-28-2009, 10:52 PM

If you love playing music...you love playing music,if you don't...you don't and it's time to move on. I find myself in so many different musical situations that I never get bored. I am sure your not the only "good" bass player around. If you want to do what is right,give your band notice so they can find a replacement. If your not giving it your 100% the music is suffering, and your really not living up to your end anyway. It sounds to me like you just need a break,so take a break. If you feel your to "old" to be "rawking out",look into a new style of music,Jazz,Blues of Funk...your never to old to play music,ya know ? Best of luck to you,Steve

mongo2 · #19 10-29-2009, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

We are booked up and I made a commitment to play those booked gigs and there are not a lot of options for good bass players to replace me (not that they couldn't with time).

If you're done, you're done. Tell the band you'll play the gigs already booked and they should start rehearsing a new bassist. That way he can step in whenever he's ready.

It's no biggie, happens all the time.

lowendblues · #20 10-30-2009, 10:45 AM

I felt the same way about 4 years ago.

I retired from live playing and am content collecting basses, buying cheap basses and fixing them up, and refining my "small, but killer" amp rig. I'm alot more into the "mechanics" of my basses now.

Some folks just get completely burnt out playing live I guess.