Types of people who play bass (and other instruments)

[russ_4ft]

this is what i usually find.

Bass player = Commands the band. gets pissed off easily with the drummer comes up with the new licks.

Guitarist = normally knows the most knowlege of music. doesn't do any thing on stage apart from strum.

Drummer = You got it right.

Vocalist = Doesn't care what music is played, All they're interested in is the vocals going with the music.

[nanook]

I couldn't have said it better.

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Famous last words "Quick, grab it behind the head so it can't bite."

[Brad Johnson]

It's actually tape used for joining sections of HVAC ducting.

[Mark Gollihur]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>It's actually tape used for joining sections of HVAC ducting.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...which is why it's that silvery gray color. Go into your basement (if you have one) and look at the ductwork that carries the heat and air conditioning throughout your house - at every joint, there should be a tape there, keeping the ductwork together.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Bassist: The glue of the band. Practice at my house, use all my equipment as I'm the only one with a drum kit and studio materials, the best musician in the group, hook up and run all the equipment. The first description fit pretty well...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's one I forgot - practice at my house. Always have. I'm also the only one in the band who knows how to set up a PA, I actually designed and assembled my guitar player's complicated midi-controlled rig, and I'm the one most in debt in the band.

Mark
sixandeightstringer@yahoo.com

[emo]

Wow - All this time I thought I was a control freak who carried the PA, the Duct Tape, the tools, did all the roadie work, and just happend to play bass only when there was no setup/teardown work to do. You mean I'm not the only one? Cool! This is like finding compatible life on distant planets!

[Boplicity]

Big Wheel, you say you resent folks who use the expression "duck" tape for duct tape, but being the bass player who always had the duct tape (and flash light)and tool kit for the gigs, I can tell you there is a BRAND of duct tape called "Duck Tape." Honest. It's true. It's true. Jason Oldsted

[Boplicity]

One of my electric bass teachers was also the first chair double bassist in a symphony orchestra. I once asked him if the musicians in an orchestra tend to have different personalities depending on their instrument and he told me absolutely yes. He said the most "high strung" (no pun intended...OK, yes, I intended the pun) were the violinists. He said they were the most egotistical, demanding, exhibitionistic and super sensitive. Unfortunately I can't remember what he said about each of the other types, except that harpists and pianists are similar to violinists. The double bassists were the staid, soild types, patient, and less neurotic. He also told me orchestras are like soap operas with very similar intergroup dynamics. He used to tell me the gossip. It was fascinating.

In metal bands lead guitarists are the ones I've had the most trouble with, especially if they compose the music. I also played with one very tempermental drummer. He was a bear...to be polite.

Jason Oldsted

I remembered about this - My dad found it for me. Thought you'd enjoy it (it's worth the read.)

Here is a reprint from the transcript of "Toby Appel's Guide to the Orchestra"

The members of the orchestra are divided into four sections. These are the woodwinds, the strings, the brass, and the percussion. There's also someone standing in front of all these other folks playing no instrument at all. This would be the conductor. It is generally understood that the conductor is required to make musical decisions and to hold all of the instruments together in a cohesive interpretation of any given work. Not so. Rather, the conductor is necessary because the four groups would rather eat Velveeta than have anything to do with someone from another section. And, as we know, musicians are quite serious about their food.

Why all the animosity? Before I begin my explanation, let me set the record straight in plain English about some of the characteristics which typify the four groups.

Woodwind players have IQs in the low- to mid- genius range. Nerds with coke-bottle glasses and big egos, blowers tend to be extremely quiet, cowering behind bizarre-looking contraptions their instruments so nobody will notice them. It is often difficult to discern whether a woodwind player is male or female.

String players are neurotic prima donnas who won't even shake your hand for fear of permanent injury. A string player will never look you directly in the eye and they never bathe carefully or often.

Brass players are loud-mouthed drunkards who bully everyone with the possible and occasional exception of a stray percussionist. They like to slick their hair back. Nobody knows why.

Percussionists are insensitive oafs who constantly make tasteless jokes at the expense of the strings and woodwinds. They look very good in concert attire but have the worst table manners of all musicians. They are always male, or close enough.

Now, is it any wonder orchestra members have little to do with anyone outside of their own section? For the answer to this and other pertinent questions we will need to examine the individual instrument and the respective if not respected players within each section.

The woodwinds:

Oboe players are seriously nuts. They usually develop brain tumors from the extreme air pressure built up over the years of playing this rather silly instrument. Oboists suffer from a serious Santa Claus complex, spending all their waking hours carving little wooden toys for imaginary children, although they will tell you they are putting the finishing touches on the world's greatest reed. Oboists can't drive and always wear clothes one size too small. They all wear berets and have special eating requirements which are endlessly annoying and which are intended to make them seem somewhat special.

English horn players are losers although they dress better then oboists. They cry at the drop of a beret.

Bassoon players are downright sinister. They are your worst enemy, but they come on so sweet that it's really hard to catch them at their game. This is an instrument that's better seen than heard. Bassoon players like to give the impression that theirs is a very hard instrument to play, but the truth is that the bassoon only plays one or two notes per piece and is therefore only heard for a minute in any given evening. However, in order to keep their jobs their only real concern they act up a storm, doing their very best to look busy.

It takes more brawn, and slightly less brain, to play contrabassoon. They are available at pawnshops in large numbers — the instruments as well as the players — and play the same three or four notes as the tuba, although not quite as loud nor beautiful.

Okay, now we come to the flute. Oversexed and undernourished is the ticket here. The flute players have no easier time of getting along with the rest of the orchestra than anyone else, but that doesn't stop them from sleeping with everyone. Man and woman alike, it makes no difference. The bass flute is not even worth mentioning. Piccolos, on the other hand, belong mainly on the fifty-yard line of a football field where the unfortunate audience can maintain a safe distance.

The clarinet is, without a doubt, the easiest of all orchestral instruments to play. Clarinets are cheap, and the reeds are literally a dime a dozen. Clarinetists have lots of time and money for the finest wines, oriental rugs, and exotic sports cars. They mostly have no education, interest, or talent in music, but fortunately for them they don't need much. Clarinets come in various sizes and keys. Nobody knows why. Don't ask a clarinetist for a loan, as they are stingy and mean. Some of the more talented clarinets can learn to play the saxophone. Big deal.

Let's continue now with the real truth about the strings.

We begin with the string family's smallest member: the violin. The violin is a high-pitched, high-tension instrument. It's not an easy instrument to play. Lots of hard music is written for this instrument. Important things for a violinist to keep in mind are: Number one: the door to your studio should be left slightly open so that everyone can hear your brilliant practice sessions. Number two: you should make disparaging remarks about the other violinists whenever possible, which is most of the time. And number three: you should tell everyone how terribly valuable your instrument is until they drool.

The viola is a large and awkward instrument, which when played, sounds downright disgusting. Violists are the most insecure members of the string section. Nothing can be done about this. Violists don't like to be made fun of, and therefore find ways of making people feel sorry for them. They wear shabby clothes so that they'll look as if they've just been dragged under a train. It works quite well.

People who play the cello are simply not good looking. Which is why they have chosen their instrument; which, while in use, hides 80% of the player's body. Most cellists are in analysis which won't end until they can play a scale in tune or, in other words, never. Cellists wear sensible shoes and always bring their own lunch.

Double bass players are almost completely harmless. Most have worked their way up through the ranks of a large moving company and are happy to have a secure job in a symphony orchestra or anywhere. The fact that it takes at least ten basses to make an audible sound tends to make these simple-minded folk disappear into their woodwork, but why do they drive such small cars?

Harpists are gorgeous. And they always know it. They often look good into their late eighties. Although rare as hen's teeth, male harpists are equally beautiful. Harpists spend their time perfecting their eye batting, little-lost-lamb look so they can snare unsuspecting wind players into carrying their heavy gilded furniture around. Debussy was right; "Harpists spend half their life tuning and the other half playing out of tune."

Pianists in the symphony orchestra work the least and complain the most. They have unusually large egos and, because they can only play seated, also have the biggest butts. When they make mistakes, which is more often than not, their excuse is that they have never played on that particular piano before. Oh, the poor darlings.

The brass:

Trumpet players are the scum of the earth. I'll admit, though, they do look good when they're all cleaned up. They'll promise you the world, but they lie like a cheap rug. Sure, they can play soft and pretty during rehearsal, but watch out come concert time! They're worse than lawyers, feeding off the poor, defenseless, weaker members of the orchestra and loving every minute of it. Perhaps the conductor could intercede? Oh, I don't think so.

Trombone players are generally the nicest brass players. However, they do tend to drink quite heavily and perhaps don't shine the brightest headlights on the highway, but they wouldn't hurt you and are the folks to call with all your pharmaceutical questions. They don't count well, but stay pre

[Boplicity]

To SixandEightStringer...THAT was priceless! I roared my head off reading it. One thing though, the prettiest member of the orchestra to which the bass player I quoted belonged was a cellist! The second prettiest was a Cuban first chair violinist.
The percussion section did have a lady...who looked (I kid you not) like she would be more at home in a Harley Davidson caravan). All the orchestra members were from the South, South America, as this orchestra was in South America!

To Thomas, your gig box looks like it contains much of what mine did, however I NEVER went anywhere without earplugs, felt tipmarkers and paper (to write set lists), my "GitTool" gizmo, adapter plugs, wirecutters, beer can opener, foam rubber (for muting), guitar and bass picks, circuit tester, scissors, and amp fuses, bandages,and Motrin and Tums. Not only did my band depend on me, other bands came to me also at concerts and I was pretty much the general fix-it-all and emergency supply headquarters. Jason Oldsted

[Tuomas]

Ok, about being a control freak and trying to take care of anything.. I have a huge, custom made gigbag/case/bag combination. It's really wild and most of all, it's HUGE!! So let me tell you what's currently (before a night out) in it.

two basses. Stingray and a fretless Jazz.
two sets of bass strings (EBS and GHS)
two sets of guitar strings if our guitarist has forgot to take some.
duct tape
flashlight.
screwdrivers, bolts, screws, parts, allen wrenches etc.
polishing cloth.
extra drum sticks.
some effect boxes (wah, envelope filter, octave, volume and a chorus and their power adapters)
A lot of batteries.
Loads of cords. Something like 15 of them from one foot to 20 feet.
Some food. I get hungry and I'm not willing to pay for that damned stuff
Insurance papers.

.. Wow. there was actually a lot less than I imagined. Usually theres alot more stuff. Well anyhow, i think you get the point

[Tuomas]

Yes, actually I forgot to check out one pocket from the complex which contained some 10 pairs of normal earplugs and my custom mades, Leatherman supertool, cable tester and something else which I can't remember at the moment.

I like to give earplugs away. I mean, it can save someones night so it's always somehow rewarding

[Boplicity]

Earplugs are such an important part of a musician's arsenal that they probably deserve a thread of their own here somewhere. But let me say, in case anybody is reading, I RUINED my ears playing so long week in and week out with two MArshall stacks turned up full (the two guitarists) and the drums and my bass stack turned up to compete. Even though I always wore earplugs, (Sonic 11) I have developed permanent ear damnage and have tinnitis 24 hours a day. The only thing I can do for the endless ringing in my ears is cover it up with ambient sound like a fan or keep music playing or the TV going. My family lately has become very annoyed that I need to have the TV turned up so loud to hear it. They say it hurts their ears. I guess I'm in trouble. Ear health is a top priority for musicians, but many young ones ignore it. I was the only one in my band who used plugs. The rest thought they looked "so NOT cool."

Jason Oldsted

[Blackbird]

Jason,

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament.

I really like your idea of posting a topic regarding this subject (protecting your hearing), and since you suggested it and you have firsthand knowledge, I would like to encourage you to do it. Your experience can help save the hearing of dozens of young members (and some overripe teenagers, not unlike myself) and that's what TalkBass is all about.

Will C.

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I'm not a genius. I'm just a hard working guy.
-BW

[Boplicity]

To Will C. Thanks for your comments. I'll post a thread about hearing protection, but I'm not sure where to put it. I guess "Miscellaneous" would be a good place, so I'll do that.

I also liked the topic that arose here about what bassists have in their gig bags. For some odd reason I really enjoyed that. Maybe someone else will point out something I had forgotten, but should have in my tool kit of "indispensible" items. Jason Oldsted

[Peter McFerrin]

Your bassist profile fits me perfectly. I'm an Eagle Scout and an electrical engineer so I carry a duffel bag full of sundries that will probably never be used but might come in handy.

[davidjackson]

Originally Posted by alexssandro

I think bass players on the whole are team players. We're concerned with making everyone - not just ourselves- sound good.

That's why bass players make the best producers :-)

[graver555]

I as a tuba player would also like to add that we are all just plain weird. I have never met a normal person who played tuba, unless they were somehow convinced to switch from another instrument.