The Ultimate Orchestra Lineup

[bassybill]

CONDUCTORS
N. Cleerbeet (Netherlands)
Don Follomi (Italy)
Harry Zupp (Hungary)
Phil de Puls (S. Africa)
Juan Smorfromditop (Spain)
Clarice Mudd (New Zealand)

LEADER
Mark Ittin (England)

CO-LEADER
Lee de Snark (Belgium)

1ST VIOLINS
Lucy String (USA)
Wanda B Asoloist (Scotland)
Con Sordino (Italy)
Won Kee Brij (S. Korea)
Scott Anulcer (England)
Polly Fonnik (Germany)
Chuck McGiggin (Canada)
Addy Nuff (Nigeria)

2ND VIOLINS
Peggy Snakkud (Finland)
Rachid Pageturn (Morocco)
Constance Cratching (Zimbabwe)
Dorian Mode (Greece)
Gladys E Zee (Kenya)
Bo Drong (Sweden)
Nelly Wright (England)
Lottie Fakin (Australia)

VIOLAS
Sheikh Jurin Solo (Oman)
Rab Ishplayer (Scotland)
Avna Cloo (Egypt)
Frank Lee Crapp (Belgium)
Al Ovadashop (Sicily)
Noah Diratal (Israel)

CELLOS
Y Dopen (Austria)
Beryl Ovett (S Africa)
Lou Spike (USA)
Mustapha C Garr (Lebanon)

DOUBLE BASSES
Pete Ziccato (Italy)
Arfur Tree (Wood Green)

FLUTES
Sue Percy (Wales)
Phoebe Forplease (England)

PICCOLO
Carrie Zinderpocket (Hungary)

OBOE
Izzy Sharpe (Israel)
Peer Sin Din (Hong Kong)

COR ANGLAIS
Diane Duck (Aylesbury)

CLARINETS
Justin Chune (Luxembourg)
Tony Zorfal (Switzerland)

BASS CLARINET
Norman E Notes (Australia)

BASSOONS
Aaron Spittle (Israel)
Lee Kin Kee (N Korea)

CONTRA BASSOON
Adam Innim (S Africa)

FRENCH HORNS
Eammon Miss (Eire)
Dennis Lippin (New Zealand)
Morag Siddentles (Scotland)
Andy Splittit (England)
Miles O'Tubin (Ireland)
Dicky Pitcher (Canada)

TRUMPETS
Willy Maykit (Scotland)
Terry Tout (Tooting)
Lips O'Gonegen (Ireland)
Val Voyle (Wales)
Russ T Bell (USA)

TENOR TROMBONES
Bengt Slide (Norway)
Gunther Fahrt (Germany)
Oliver Guinness (Ireland)

BASS TROMBONE
Peter Owt (USA)

TUBA
Norma Spuff (Australia)

PERCUSSION
Tim Parny (England)
Cy Drum (USA)
Edna Book (Scotland)
Mr. Solly Trecrash (Israel)
Wayne C N Tervul (Canada)

HARP
Angeline de Band (Switzerland)

CELESTE
Yolanda Plumjob (Bolivia)

HARPSICHORD
Olive Inthepast (Wales)

ORGAN
Paula de Stops (Brazil)

CLASSICAL GUITAR
Segovia Carpet (Spain)

ALTO SAXES
Bjorn Secksee (Sweden)
Kenny Read (Scotland)

TENOR SAXES
Gordon E Speed (USA)
Leighton Pist (Wales)

BARITONE SAX
Mannheim Stoned (Outer Bahrain)

PIANO
Phil Allgaps (Florida Keys)

SAMPLE LOOPER
Tex A Wayjobs (USA)

GUITAR
Ron Chords (England)

BASS GUITAR
Ian Gee (Scotland)

DRUMS
Owen Transport (Wales)

BANJO
Wendy Saints (New Orleans)

MOUTH ORGAN
R Monniker (Germany)

BAGPIPES
Terry Bullracket (Scotland)

SOPRANOS
Barbie Hynde (USA)
Evelyn Tensions (Virgin Islands)
Mimi Mee (France)
Gloria Stitz (Austria)
Jemima Lott (England)
Sheila Blige (Australia)

ALTOS
Dawn Chorus (Wales)
Emma Vailable (Luxembourg)
May Cuporlova (Czech Republic)
Vi Larmpits (Bournemouth)
Helda Breff (Denmark)
Eve N Bosom (Switzerland)

TENORS
R Sole (USA)
Maximilian Aveek (Germany)
Walter Plonker (Canada)
Stan Duppenpose (Austria)
Hugh Jeego (S Africa)

BASSES
Omar Throat (Egypt)
Uve Waytpilluk (Germany)
Roger Anything (New Zealand)
Joe Kovavoyz (Poland)

SPECIALIST ADVISORS
GREEK MUSIC
Baz Ooki (Crete)

SPANISH MUSIC
Oonagh Paloma (Majorca)

ORIENTAL MUSIC
Tin Klin Pots (Vietnam)

INDIAN MUSIC
Getupta Singh (Bangladesh)

CHURCH MUSIC
Gregor E N Chant (Russia)

EARLY MUSIC
A Nonnynonny (Wales)

MEDIEVAL MUSIC
Amanda Lynne (England)

AVANT GARDE
Otto Krapp (Germany)

JAZZ
Doug Datcrazybeatkatz (USA)

COMPOSER-IN-RESIDENCE
Nick Stunes (Ireland)

ARRANGER
Les Makitardfrohm (Finland)

COPYIST
E Legiblescore (France)

LIBRARIAN
Miss N Parts (England)

MUSICIAN'S UNION REP
Ken I C Yukkard (Scotland)

FIXER
R U Verken (Belgium)

AGENT
Owen Money (Wales)

CONTRACTOR
Manny Zinderpost (Israel)

MANAGER
Robin Gitt (Mayfair)

ELECTRICIANS
Mal Function (Eire)
Sir Kit Breaker (England)

SOUND TECHNICIANS
Mike Ruffone (Canada)
Jack Plug (England)

RECORDING ENGINEERS
Stu di Olite (Italy)
Mort Rebble (USA)
Ed Phones (Wales)

BROADCASTING ENGINEERS
N Terference (France)
Ray de Owaves (Portugal)

WARDROBE
Miss Inga Cufflink (Norway)
D J Smucky (Jersey)

PORTERS
Manuel Labor (Spain)
Rex Instruments (Scotland)

CLOAKROOM
Mahatma Coht (India)

MATRON
Betty Pukes (England)

CHAPLAIN
Rev L Ayshuns (Christchurch)

TOUR ORGANISERS
Kathy Pacific (Hawaii)
Dan Eyre (Ireland)

ROADIES
Hertz van Rental (Netherlands)
Herr E Layabout (Germany)
Duncan Disorderly (Australia)

COACH DRIVER
Dino di Way (Sicily)

SECURITY
Oi Yu (China)
Hans Orff (Austria)
Laura Norder (Belgium)

CATERING
Chris P Bacon (Denmark)
Roland Butter (New Zealand)
Donna Kebab (Grease Greece)