Here's my story. I just turned 31. Over the last 10 years, I have played in a number of rock groups with some kind of adjective in the beginning (experimental, progressive, funk) with varying degrees of success.
The music that I love the most, the music that makes me happy, the music that my own original compositions are inspired by is stuff like:
David Fiuczynski/Screaming Headless Torsos, Medeski Martin and Wood, Steve Coleman's Five Elements, Decoding Society, Tribal Tech, Headhunters, Mahavishnu Orchestra.
I figured out a long time ago that you meet people who play this kind of music when you go to school for music (esp Berklee). I couldn't go to college, but have had a string of private teachers and feel I am at a level to play music like this.
In my town, there is a descent Traditional jazz scene (don't have Double Bass) and even a free jazz scene (I know what its like to play empty rooms from playing prog rock

). I have put out numerous ads with little results. I do have a badass drummer who can do the whole Weckl/Vinnie/Chambers thing, so its a start, but guitarists want to play metal and keyboardists have paying gigs.
Is there any way to find these types of players short of moving to New York?