Why is it so hard to find a Band?

[Rumble Bee]

Do you ever feel like you want to throw the towel in? I'm getting that feeling lately and it scares me thinking about it. No this is not a suicide note, its just after 29 years of playing bass and being in a ton of different bands,that I'm having this feeling that no-one wants to play with the old,fat guy anymore. It gets harder to find the right mix of people the older you get. In the last 4 months I tried out for 4 different bands and not one of them worked out or called back.. It sure isn't my playing and it's not my attitude, Damn I'm the most laid back and easy going guy in the world. I've come to find out after some soul searching, it's the knowledge of my instrument and it gets to be intimadating. No I don't go to a practice spouting off at the mouth, but I go there fully prepared for what they throw at me and then some. Maybe I need to hack it up and make believe the guitar player taught me something I never knew. Do you think it's age? (49). I try and get in bands with 30-40 year olds and some of them are good players and some of them I think, picked it up again after 20 years of not playing and remember how they were then. It's not the same . This is eating me up,and I really don't want to give it all up yet. Anybody need a bass player in Mass?

[Esquillama]

Don't pack it in.
The band I'm in now is made up of all older guys.
I'm 17 years younger than the next guy in age to me.
The others are all older than that, and one(a former college
professor of mine) is the same age as my father.

I'm 36, so I'm not exactly "young" myself. My point is this,
there's bound to be someone out there that wants to play,
no matter the age. It may take some extra time, and some
extra looking, but I bet you can find a few guys(or girls) out
there that are of a similar mind. I wish you the best of luck.

[Rumble Bee]

Thanks for the lift. It goes a long way.
Steve

[DaftCat]

With that many years of experience under your belt, why not start your own band?

Consider there are probably other players of different instruments in the same boat and mindset as yourself.

Hope this helps, the bowl is half full Rumble Bee.

DCat,

[Matt Till]

Originally Posted by DaftCat

Consider there are probably other players of different instruments in the same boat and mindset as yourself.

EXACTLY! Don't hang it up, considering how long you've been playing, you clearly love music and I'd imagine you've got to be pretty good... well you aren't a beginner Fat and old shouldn't really be an issue, at you're age... everyone is old. Kidding

Something will come along, I'm 22 and I had to work like mad to find people with the same musical mindset as I. Four months and four auditions isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things.

Good luck!

[Edwcdc]

Originally Posted by Matt Till

Four months and four auditions isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things.

Matt is right, it is sometimes hard to find the right situation. I was in the same band for 5 years and I quit two months ago because it was getting stale. I when on several auditions and ended up playing in two bands. After a couple of months of comparing them to the old band I learned that the grass was not greener so I am going back to the old band. They miss me.
I found that I wasn't comfortable with some of the guys I played with recently. Cool guys but something just didn't feel right. Maybe you might be too good for some of these bands. Maybe they are looking for someone younger. When I first got back into music 6 years ago, I started the band search game and found that after I told them how old I was they wouldn't call back. I lied about my age when I joined the one band 5 years ago. I thought it was the only way to get an audition.
I think there is age discrimination to a certain extent and it does make one feel old but don't let it keep you down. Keep plugging away. Maybe you could start your own band.

[Geoff St. Germaine]

I know of a few bands around here looking for good, permanent musicians. My band is one of them. Since I cannot make a long term commitment to the band, we're looking for a bass player. We've been looking for about a year and a half now and have found squat. We've had about a dozen people audition, but they fell into one of two camps: too old for our band (40-50, we're 20-25 years old, hard rock band) or they weren't good players.

[Thunderbird91]

because its hard to find musicians that have the drive and dedication as you, like the same style, want to be in a band and are in your area. If you think about its really hard to get a good band together with all those constraints.

[Boplicity]

When I lived in Nashville, I read the musician wanted ads every day for five years. It was surprising to me how many ads came right out and said they didn't want "old fogies" or similar language or they would say they wanted a heavy metal "type" and look or similar language.

Well, at least they saved the effort of going to auditions when I was licked before I started. But I do think there is a lot of "ageism" in music, even if it isn't as blatant as those ads were.

I have an "old voice" and have had since I was quite young. Many times I called the musican wanted ad number and was never called back. I felt sure my old voice scared bands away, too.

I know one thing, blues bands and country bands seem to be less ageist. In fact, in blues, mature years have a certain cachet.

But the best advice above, is to start your own band. BUt whatever you do, don't give up. It would be such a waste of your talent and experience.

[Rumble Bee]

Hey guys, I just want all of you to know that your kind words and advise has really made a differance to me. It made me think a little more and maybe your all right and take the advice and keep on keeping on. Thanks for the therapy guys . You don't realize how much I needed it.

Steve

[Keeaumoku]

I played my first paying gig in 1971... It was a beer joint in Fort Worth, Texas, and I was eighteen... not old enough to legally drink a beer while playing at the time. I completely stopped playing in 1983... can you say... "raising twin daughters?" After a 22-year hiatus, which means I didn't even go check-out any other bands... I got back into the game just about a year ago... I recently turned 53...

...I now find myself playing with two different bands, and I am about ten years older, on average, than the guys in both bands. While we boast a population of around 800K for Honolulu, we're really just a small town out here in the middle of the deep blue sea. We musicians are a fairly close-knit society, and when the word got out that I was back, I started getting phone calls. I've had to politely turn-down a few requests for my bass-playing services.

...you wanna be a bass player in a band? Come on out here to Paradise! Good bass players are a highly desirable commodity in Honolulu. It seems everyone wants to be a guitar player. I've begun to see some of the guys I used to play with way back when, as well as some of the other guys from rival bands. Damn! We've all gotten older... that's for sure!

[Blues Cat]

Rumble Bee, I think if you prayed about it, god would put you with the people he wants you to be with.

[morf]

Don't give up I'm 21 years old, and I would kill to find a musician with your expertise and form a band (well of course I wouldnt need a bassist) but the fact that you know your instrument really well will only improve the chances of the band learning alot from you and everybody getting better quickly. If people are intimidated by your skills they're not a real band, they're not real musicians. Give them up, tell yourself that if they have such an attitude you wouldnt get too far with such band anyway.

Try to find younger musicians, we're very open minded about age and the more advanced you are the better IMHO. Don't give up, I know ALOT of bands who would kick their 15 yr old pick using "I dont really like bass but my parents said I should play in a band" kids. You'll definately find people who will be greatly enthusiastic to have you jam with em! I know I would

On that thought I have the same problem, can't find a band I like here. Noone's making music I want to play it seems... All I can find are bands full of 15yr old kids who want to play Sum 41 and Blink 182 exclusively, they dont care about getting better or playing decent stuff they just want to make loud noise... I won't give up though, I found a drummer who wants to form a band, he's pretty good and motivated, I'll start with that and find a guitarist and a singer and form a new band if need there is. Try it out

[mike phillips]

keep on diggin. im 43 just started playin 8 months ago. i only wish i had your experiance. dont let it go to waste. i agree with the others start your own band. then its your choice of who you want in. good luck

[brianrost]

Rumble Bee,

Where in MA are you and what style(s) do you play? I'm out near Worcester and after 25 years I'm finding that the gig scene is in a real lull but I am still getting out once or twice a week.

It is tough for old timers like you and me because the young rock bands aren't interested and the scenes for top 40, classic rock, blues, etc. have been slowly dying the last 2-3 years.

One trick is to find bands working narrow niches...one band I play in does French folk music with bagpipes We get one or two gigs a month and I can guarantee you there's no competing bands playing this stuff

[bucephylus]

Several additional factors:

DUI laws = fewer people going out to clubs

RAP + DJ = fewer clubs and people interested in live music

Much of the standard "top 40" play fare has become "oldies;" there hasn't been continued songwriting input. (If you're going to flame me for this statement, please point out the most recent addition to the top 40 playlist that has the appeal of (heaven forbid) Mustang Sally)

Many (not all) younger cats just don't want to play with anyone over the age of 35. I can link you to Phoenix's New Times listings, which are replete with "Must be under 35," listings, no problem.

Those of us from the Woodstock era have gotten older. Now more than ever, you must play because you love it. I took 16 months to find the group I'm working with (www.soulfulhorizons.com) going through multiple bands/auditions etc. In fact, I had temporarily decided to take a step back from pop music and gone back to playing classical in the Tempe Symphony Orchestra, when this position opened up. Perhaps, Shakespeare wrote about how destiny finds you rather than the reverse. Some things change, some don't. Don't give up.