Would you be offended...

[tZer]

Here is my situation... I was asked if I would mind filling in for a band who was about to lose their bass player right before their CD release.

It's possible - why not? 10 songs that I was rather certain would not be too difficult to learn - why not? I am a semi-pro who can handle the gig. Get me a copy of your CD and I will give it a listen and let you know if I feel like I can do the gig in the spirit of helping out fellow musicians in a bind.

Ok... I get the disc and just as I thought - no challenge to learn - aside from the fact that the music, to put it mildly, is not my cup of meat. Ok... that is really mild... I actually had a very hard time listening to it without cringing. Not that it's bad - but it is really so far out of my taste that I just cannot get passed how I feel about it.

So I don't wanna do the gig - as much as my "help a band out" side wants to do it for Karma's sake...

So, when I tell the guy that I can't do it, do I explain that it is because "I am not into the music?" - "that it just is not my taste?" - "It's not you, it's me?" Honest, yes, but possibly offensive - I really don't mean to offend, but I am afraid if I offer the "honest" reason (that I don't dig the material) - that would be unnecessarily offensive.

Or do I go the "white lie" route and say something like, "my schedule just filled up" or some other non-true statement...?

[Tony G]

Just be honest.

[Richard Lindsey]

You could say something like, it's not really what I usually do and I don't think I could perform it in as committed and enthusiastic a way as you would ideally want.

[tZer]

Honesty is the best policy.

Even though I know that if I committed to it, I would do it as if it were my favorite music ever and would deliver the goods in a very enthusiastic way, I think the way you put it, Richard, is polite and would not be offensive.

Part of me wants look at it as a professional challenge - to actually take on a gig playing music I am completely turned off by to get experience doing "the gig" and separating my personal feelings from my pro... But I don't have to do that!! I am not a pro! I am a very capable hobbiest! LOL.

Thanks! - I now have an email to write.

[Atoz]

Originally Posted by Richard Lindsey

You could say something like, it's not really what I usually do and I don't think I could perform it in as committed and enthusiastic a way as you would ideally want.

+1 Exactly what I would say.

[spudmaster34]

I would explain that it isn't really your thing, and mabeye steer them towards someone else they could contact

[Scottgun]

Be 6.023x10 to the 23rd-power percent truthful.

Having said that, I would also encourage you to take the gig and find a way to get over the taste issue. I've always had a nagging guardian no-bs angel in the back of my mind saying, "show me a guy who won't take a gig because it is not his taste or he is too good for it, and I'll show you a guy I can crack like a peanut."

If they were asking for a long-term commitment, I think it would be a different story, but it sounds like a one-time gig to me. So I recommend doing it.


Scott

[Sundogue]

Got something better to do that night?

How many songs have you played in your life that weren't your cup of tea, but did it anyway?

If it's only ten songs, it'll be over with before you know it. Are you getting paid to do it? If so, do it as a mercenary and pick up some cash.

Just how bad/offensive/outrageous is this music anyway?

[tZer]

Scott - I hear you and agree on many levels. However, I am not "on the market" or seeking to put myself out there as available for such gigs at this time. This guy approached me at work and asked if I might consider it. I told him from the git-go that it was unlikely, but I would check my schedules and get back to him. In the mean time, I wanted to get a listen to his material and that was when I discovered how I felt about their stuff. I then felt a little guilty because I clearly didn't want to take the gig - not because of schedules, but because I really don't like the material.

Because - I made no commitments up-front and it was was never the case that I was in, but now want out, I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong - but I feel like saying "Oh, I have another engagement that day" would just be wrong.

My dilema comes from my desire to give him an honest reason as to why I don't want to take the gig. Currently, there are no scheduling issues but it was always unlikely that I would take the gig anyway because my current project is really picking up steam and I need to keep the dates open.

Actually that makes this quite a moot discussion - "My friend, I need to keep the date open - sorry. Good luck!"

I agree with you that I should take it and give it may all if I were looking to get into the "hired-gun" game. If I were, this question would not have even come up. Gig? You got it! Where, when, and how do I dress? Make-up? No prob... Spandex? Bring it on! But since I am not, my nagging guardian angel is on vacation and won't be back until my current project ends and I consider getting back "on the stroll".

And you probably could crack me like a peanut! LOL - interested in a quickie pick-up gig in St. Louis?

[tZer]

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Got something better to do that night?

How many songs have you played in your life that weren't your cup of tea, but did it anyway?

If it's only ten songs, it'll be over with before you know it. Are you getting paid to do it? If so, do it as a mercenary and pick up some cash.

Just how bad/offensive/outrageous is this music anyway?

I am really trying to avoid defining their material as anything other than, "not my cup of tea" since it is all a matter of personal taste and one person's tea is another's caster oil.

But to give you a general, non-judgemental description; his band is a Christian pop/rock/synth-based band and the music sounds a bit like Stryper - only much, much lighter or even a bit like Europe (you remember "The Final Countdown", right?) only not as "rockin".

And I have played PLENTY of stuff that was not my cup... that is why I left my previous band and started this new project - (which is really kickin' butt!) I was tired of playing stuff that I was not all that into. I did my job, I did it well... I left on good terms and lived up to all my obligations. Now I get to do things my way! I run the band - I found players who are all hard-hitters and on the same page - I help craft the material and production - the image - the concept and so on - this is what I left the other band to do, so I don't feel compelled in the slightest to put myself in the position of playing stuff I don't really dig. I only even half-considered it out of a sense of coworker commaradery. Sure - if their music was really interesting to me it would have made me consider it much more, but since it doesn't, I can't.

Maybe after their CD release, I will ask if he minds if I post some samples of their stuff. I am sure it is perfectly fine Christian Pop/rock/synth music - and mind you, I was actually very interested in jamming with a Christian band - I am not a Christian, but I was very interested in experiencing that scene - 800 to 1000 people in a big church rockin' to some high-energy praise music sounds like a good time to me! Good vibes all around! But this music just really knocked the wind straight outta my sails...

[jady]

Originally Posted by tZer

his band is a Christian pop/rock/synth-based band and the music sounds a bit like Stryper - only much, much lighter or even a bit like Europe (you remember "The Final Countdown", right?) only not as "rockin".

Oh...........................oh my......................

[Scottgun]

Originally Posted by tZer

Currently, there are no scheduling issues but it was always unlikely that I would take the gig anyway because my current project is really picking up steam and I need to keep the dates open.

Ahh. I missed that point. And there is your reason you can give--"I need to keep my schedule open" is a perfectly valid reason to give for bowing out.


Scott

[tplyons]

I've been in the very same position. I just told them straight up I'd do the gigs if it was absolutely necessary, but I'm not jiving with their music, and if they could find someone else, it would be best for everyone involved.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by tZer

...my current project is really picking up steam and I need to keep the dates open.

Originally Posted by spudmaster34

I would...steer them towards someone else they could contact

These two things. A couple of phone numbers will ease the sting.

[Sundogue]

Originally Posted by tZer

I am really trying to avoid defining their material as anything other than, "not my cup of tea" since it is all a matter of personal taste and one person's tea is another's caster oil.

But to give you a general, non-judgemental description; his band is a Christian pop/rock/synth-based band and the music sounds a bit like Stryper - only much, much lighter or even a bit like Europe (you remember "The Final Countdown", right?) only not as "rockin".

And I have played PLENTY of stuff that was not my cup... that is why I left my previous band and started this new project - (which is really kickin' butt!) I was tired of playing stuff that I was not all that into. I did my job, I did it well... I left on good terms and lived up to all my obligations. Now I get to do things my way! I run the band - I found players who are all hard-hitters and on the same page - I help craft the material and production - the image - the concept and so on - this is what I left the other band to do, so I don't feel compelled in the slightest to put myself in the position of playing stuff I don't really dig. I only even half-considered it out of a sense of coworker commaradery. Sure - if their music was really interesting to me it would have made me consider it much more, but since it doesn't, I can't.

Maybe after their CD release, I will ask if he minds if I post some samples of their stuff. I am sure it is perfectly fine Christian Pop/rock/synth music - and mind you, I was actually very interested in jamming with a Christian band - I am not a Christian, but I was very interested in experiencing that scene - 800 to 1000 people in a big church rockin' to some high-energy praise music sounds like a good time to me! Good vibes all around! But this music just really knocked the wind straight outta my sails...

Well, just go with your gut instinct then. You know that it's usually right. When something feels wrong, it is wrong...for you anyway.

I'd just be honest and say that you were game for it, but after listening to the CD, while it's good, it's not the kind of music you thought it might be. Actually, you could just relate it to them by saying that they probably wouldn't want to fill in on a death-metal gig. Different strokes for different folks. Tell them you not interested but you wish them the best of luck and if you can find someone else to fill in, you'll give them his number.

[morf]

Dont do it mate!

[tZer]

It's been handled. I let him know that I could not commit to the date due to my need to keep my schedule open for my current project.

Apparently their original bass player may actually be doing it with them afterall - they were just trying to have a back-up plan "just in case". I also suggested he talk to two other bass players (right here on my same floor! - the bass playing community is unusually well represented at my company!) so it would appear that this is all in the "OK" pile.

No harm, no foul. Thanks again for the input! Very helpful, as always.

[Bryan316]

"Hey man, it's not my style of playing. I'd sound really bad trying to fit in with it, and I wouldn't be doing the band any justice. Try to find a guy who would better fit the part, cuz I wouldn't sound good trying to blend in."


That should be good enough.

[tZer]

Originally Posted by Bryan316

"Hey man, it's not my style of playing. I'd sound really bad trying to fit in with it, and I wouldn't be doing the band any justice. Try to find a guy who would better fit the part, cuz I wouldn't sound good trying to blend in."


That should be good enough.

Well, along the lines of trying to keep things honest, that would be a lie. I would do just fine and fit in with no difficulty. It's just a gig - 10 easy songs - me hanging back with the drummer making sure the bottom end is solid - no sweat. It's not like I have to give a homily or anything... just do my job as a bass player.

Besides, I would never represent myself by saying, "I would to a bad job..." - Just cuz I am not into it does not mean I would do a bad job - I just would not be getting my personal ya ya's, that's all... as far as the band or the crowd was concerned, they'd see a bass player smiling, grooving and jamming as if he were a part of the band since day one and there would never be the slightest indication that I was not 100% on task.

So handing him that line, while it may "get me offa da hook" would be just as bad as saying, "Oh, man... my great Aunt Gerty died and I won't be able to make it..." or worse, "I don't have skills..." - nope... not me... never.

[Bryan316]

Then play the gig. Who knows? A hottie might be in the crowd giving you the eye....