I used BinAB alot myself, but I don't think it's that great. It does the trick when you have to resort to it. Try to get as much music played by recorded by live players. There's alot of Aebersold play alongs that you can get.
BinAB kinda sucks in that the way that it plays the music and the chord voicings they use typically aren't representative of what people normally play. So be careful so that you don't think that what it puts out is "normal". Don't get dependent on it. I think the better thing, albeit a little harder, is getting used to practicing with just a metronome. You can try going at a new tune with BinAB first just to get some of the chords in your fingers, but it's better to be able to carry the melody and chords by yourself on a metronome. Get used to counting off the metronome so that the clicks hit on the 2nd and 4th beats of a measure. Doing so will improve your time and your ear.
Also, check out
this thread on learning tunes in an in-depth way.
Finally, get yourself a teacher. You're in the jazz capital of the world and it should be easy to find a decent one to get you started. I probalby wouldn't worry about finding folks to play with, I'm sure they're out there and you just need to find them. I'd just start practicing alot after getting some help from a teacher, and since you're 21, you can try going to a jam session or two and get experience that way. I didn't start til I was 30 (I wish I started at 21 myself) so I don't think you're late at all. If you really want to do it, you can but it's all up to you and how much you want to commit.