Cognitive rehab for reading music?

bassbaterie · #1 05-03-2009, 11:29 AM

I don't find anything specific on the net, but maybe one of my fellow bassists will know -

About 4 years ago I had some kind of stress-induced attack under extremely dire life circumstances. I could not feel my left arm or leg, see out of my left eye or hear out of my left ear. Docs tested for heart attack with no definite results ('no heart tissue damage') but in retrospect it didn't occur to me to ask them to investigate a stroke. They told me I wasn't about to die but they found a cancer lesion so that became the focus (it was removed, no recurrence).

Life recovered in actually a spectacular fashion to exceed any of my dreams and I'm extremely happy and healthy. However, I have had a change in cognitive ability and only recently it's getting so annoying that I think I need to take specific rehabilitative measures. Whenever I'm under any kind of stress I just blank out for a moment here and there, unpredictably, like a brain fart. I don't know if it's an actual cognitive breakdown or a learned fear response from the stress of that incident. If someone asks me a question that expects an immediate response (like ordering in a restaurant), sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what they said, or sometimes I miss a turn driving, but those things aren't crucial to my career. The only time it really causes a problem is while reading music - I look at a note, can't process it and end up playing the wrong pitch. 'Involuntary chord substitution' doesn't go over so well on a classical gig. Sometimes it doesn't happen, but if I have one 'brain fart' I stress about it then it happens again. In rehearsal everything might be fine, and even when I know my part perfectly well, the slight increase in adrenaline level of being in performance can result in this happening. I also can't perform reliably by memory any more, even pieces I've known for decades. The higher the stress of the performance, the worse the problem - new people in the group, a difficult piece, or a noisy room are distractions that did not affect me before the incident, and though my versatility and technique have improved a great deal since the 'attack', and the 'brain-fart' problem has gotten better, it persists and people notice. I'm aggressively attempting to build my career and this issue just makes me nuts. I was always 'known' to be a good sight-reader and always passed sight-reading on any jury or audition with flying colours. Now I have trouble accurately reading stuff I already know, much less at sight.

Considering it might be moot to attempt to go back and get some kind of accurate diagnosis of what happened, I may as well move forward and find out what techniques are used for cognitive rehabilitation. I can find materials about re-training reading, speech and writing, but I have no problem with those, only for timing-dependent tasks like music. Does any of you have any experience with a musician who had to have cognitive rehab? Thanks!

**Freddels** · #2 05-03-2009, 12:29 PM

You might want to try to contact Pat Martino. He had to re-learn to play guitar.

Phil Smith · #3 05-03-2009, 12:36 PM

You could try hypnotherapy.

bassbaterie · #4 05-03-2009, 04:42 PM

Thanks! I did find a way to leave a question for Pat Martino on a forum. I know zero about hypnotherapy but will do some reading up on it. Much appreciated, you guys.

Paul Warburton · #5 05-03-2009, 10:29 PM

Sorry about your problem.
Are you familiar with the book "Musicophilia"? The author is Dr. Oliver Sacks, Professor of Clinical Neurology at Columbia and a musicologist. The work that's being done by he and his colleagues world wide is nothing short of astonishing.
At least Google his name....sounds like something right down your alley.
Also, visit our " TBDB Ladies book club tea and crumpet discussion #1" under the "Off topic" forum heading. In there, us "ladies", discuss several books relating to your problem and provide some links about "Your brain on music" and even "Your brain on jazz".
Best of luck and keep us posted, please.

MR PC · #6 05-03-2009, 11:36 PM

Sorry for your misfortune. I understand why you might not want to describe here the circumstances under which you suffered an event that left you disabled.

Somebody mentioned hypnotherapy already. That might open some doors to what you need, I think. Even if it isn't what ultimately helps. Good luck.

bassbaterie · #7 05-04-2009, 12:17 AM

Thanks again folks - so far it looks like I'm ordering 'Musicophilia', have downloaded several hypnosis mp3's from itunes to check out the concept (at the very least it should help me train out psychosomatic problems and see if there is a neurological malfunction remaining) and got 'approved' to send a message to Pat Martino. I read the 'Ladies' column. I should emphasize that I'm not falling apart, drooling on my bass or anything. I perform all the time and generally it goes just fine and I keep getting better gigs all the time. But then occasionally I can't line up the visual of a printed note with what's coming out of the bass, and then it will happen 3-4 times in a row.

The whatever-it-was incident is not a big secret, but it's not really relevant to what's happening now. PC we have probably talked about it anyway, or I will tell you if you wish. No biggie.

Thanks to you guys I have learned enough in 1 day to go a long, long way toward solving this problem, and maybe resolve it completely. I appreciate you hugely!

Paul Warburton · #8 05-04-2009, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassbaterie

Thanks again folks - so far it looks like I'm ordering 'Musicophilia', have downloaded several hypnosis mp3's from itunes to check out the concept (at the very least it should help me train out psychosomatic problems and see if there is a neurological malfunction remaining) and got 'approved' to send a message to Pat Martino. I read the 'Ladies' column. I should emphasize that I'm not falling apart, drooling on my bass or anything. I perform all the time and generally it goes just fine and I keep getting better gigs all the time. But then occasionally I can't line up the visual of a printed note with what's coming out of the bass, and then it will happen 3-4 times in a row.
No biggie.

From your original post, I could see that you you were not in the "drooling" stage. Although, I find myownself at my age, doing that on my bass and in intimate moments with a member of the opposite sex.

Glad you're going to check out Sacks' book. The cases mentioned in the book vary in light stages of damage to very serious ones, as in Parkinson's, total deafness and even blindness.
Even if it's of no value to you in your issue, it's a great read, especially for us players who are curious about how the brain and ears deal with music. I, personally, have used info from this book in dealing with my own current issue of a long lay-off of my performing on our instrument. I learned stuff about re-synchronizing my brain/ears in relationship to what i'm hearing and how it applies to my bass playing.

jgbass · #9 05-04-2009, 09:38 AM

bassbaterie,

This may sound like a stretch, only because it seems so unusual, but this stuff has really really helped me with performance anxiety in high stress situations and to stay focused on all that needs to be done. Also, I have used this in working with clients and many have been helped.

If you tried some of this stuff, it might really help you figure out what is psychomatically based. If you search here too you will find they have a forum which experienced practitioners answer questions.

The info and download are free. You have nothing to lose.

www.emofree.com

Also, you should be able to go back and dig up those old medical records. They are usually kept somewhere for a long time.

fiddlynn · #10 05-04-2009, 10:39 AM

Bassbaterie, I'm breaking a many-year habit of lurking to post here but this is important.

The trouble you are describing could come from either physical/neurological trouble or emotional damage. Any psych professional worth his/her license will tell you to get the possible physical causes ruled out first. Go back to those doctors and check both the initial diagnosis and their current thoughts about the continuing trouble. Do mention the concern over stroke damage and the possibility of continuing small strokes that could explain the restaurant trouble, "brain farts" etc. DON'T LET THEM DISMISS YOU!

After the physical end of things is thoroughly investigated, see where you stand. If things still aren't explained or helped, see a psych professional who specializes in trauma. That specializatin is really important. Your initial post said something about a stress attack under "dire life circumstances." Post Traumatic Stress is a clinical diagnosis for a huge range of after effects from big life stressors. It could explain some of what you describe and does get worse over time. A new technique called EMDR is particularaly good at getting to the root of the trouble and its physiological effects such as the interference with muscle memeory.

Rebuilding a career, especially with orchestral playing, is a bear. I know you are working like crazy. Best of luck with it all.