Need some advice from fellow bassists...

Illfavor · #1 03-23-2010, 02:45 PM

I'm a college senior, entering grad school. My gf is also a double bassist and the dreaded "try to get into the same school" situation has come up. We're in a serious relationship, nearly 4 years now (Bass Love heh). We succeeded, but now I'm approached with this situation: I would have to pay, at least 3K a year, to go to school with her, while I can go to Yale for free + a living stipend. Our other school is no where near the northeast. I want to be with her, but am I crazy for turning down such a fantastic offer from a high-quality place?

Thanks for any advice...

**cabrego** · #2 03-23-2010, 02:47 PM

Ditch the girl.

Greevus · #3 03-23-2010, 02:51 PM

YALE for free? PLUS a stipend? Are you high?

TomSauter · #4 03-23-2010, 02:51 PM

Yeah ditch the chick. You may not get another chance at a deal like that at a school like Yale, and your relationship might still work out. Or you could not go to Yale and you may break up with her anyway

waleross · #5 03-23-2010, 03:01 PM

You mean play String Bass at Yale? Out of my class ! However
you must be a great player, go for the music. Your girlfriend will still be there.........................

hrodbert696 · #6 03-23-2010, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greevus

YALE for free? PLUS a stipend? Are you high?

+1000

Umm we live in an age with the internet, IM with webcam, these things called jet airplanes. Long distance relationships suck but you don't have to ditch your gf just cause you'll be long distance for a while.

Jack Clark · #7 03-23-2010, 04:00 PM

Invite her to move to New Haven--if not to attend Yale then another nearby college. Then get her an application for a transfer.

Convince her the future would be all the brighter and monetarily easier for you both if you went to Yale now.

jarrhead · #8 03-23-2010, 04:01 PM

Yale, Yale, and Yale.

**Thor** · #9 03-23-2010, 04:02 PM

Without info on the other school, the recommendation is
hard to make.

Based on what you have said, take the Ivy League
sheepskin and the stipend. If the relationship is to last, it
should be able to survive much worse than separation.

lighthouse · #10 03-23-2010, 04:04 PM

Putting aside, for the moment, the questions of girlfriend and money, which school do you like better?

wideyes · #11 03-23-2010, 04:06 PM

Hmmm, I think I'm starting to figure out the common thread on the advice you're getting...

growler-br · #12 03-23-2010, 04:08 PM

Bro... Life comes and leaves us fast...So can women. Take the shot at Yale because you may not get this chance back. Plus it sounds like what you want to do. Do not get the communication between your two heads mixed up. Good luck and let us know your outcome.

krovx · #13 03-23-2010, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TomSauter

Yeah ditch the chick. You may not get another chance at a deal like that at a school like Yale, and your relationship might still work out. Or you could not go to Yale and you may break up with her anyway

Dont ditch her, but see if she would be cool with doing the distance thing. However, what Tom suggests could be the reality of possibilities. Think with the right head. The distance could actually be a healthy test for the relationship.

Gawd · #14 03-23-2010, 04:12 PM

Try the long distance thing. It's hard work but if you love her it's worth it.

joebar · #15 03-23-2010, 04:13 PM

take the overwhelming advice- when opportunity knocks, open the door, invite it in, buy it a beer and sleep with it.
you'll know right away if your relationship is strong enough to survive a few waves...

DukDukGuus · #16 03-23-2010, 04:22 PM

Back when my tiny college was running on fumes, my sweetheart transferred to a larger, much more prestigious university; a semester later I was accepted there, and two other places. She was upset that I didn't follow her, choosing an even better school. BEST decision I had made, in my life. (Up to that time. Since, I've made a couple that easily trump that one.)

If your relationship is solid, a few semesters apart won't break it. Take the offer. If you don't, I'll come over and flick your earlobe. HARD.

joe5cent · #17 03-23-2010, 04:23 PM

Based on what has been said, as a couple you two have to figure out how to work this out. If as a couple you can't figure out this one I don't think the next big step will fair any better.

Like what happens when one of you gets a gig or teaching offer in Maryland, and the other gets an offer in Omaha? Might as well face the tough choice now.

aws1963 · #18 03-23-2010, 04:25 PM

My advice for what its worth.

Go to Yale!

To me it's kind of like getting something on the proverbial silver platter and instead of taking it, you unbutton your....... Well, you get the picture!

If the two of you are meant to be together, it will work out! I had a similar opportunity and my GF at the time said "Go for it"

21 years later she still tells me that on occasion!

If this crosses the line Mods, go ahead and delete it. I tried to be PG rated.

gttim · #19 03-23-2010, 04:30 PM

Yale. You have to go for the free education. This will set you up for the rest of your life.

My buddy and his wife dated for from the 8th grade on. They went to different states for college. They have now been married for almost 20 years and have a teenage daughter. So yeah, you can do Yale and the girl.

jarrhead · #20 03-23-2010, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gttim

So yeah, you can do Yale and the girl.

hehe..

All jokes aside, you seriously need to go to Yale.