.. is it normal for

[x15]

me to feel like trash? hello, here's a story for all of you -
possibly it has been told before - many times over, perhaps
by different people, using different words and in different
circumstances.. I moved to Japan about two months ago
and i've been playing jazz for a year (and the double bass for
about 4 months now).. I played with a jazz trio back
home in Delhi (where the jazz scene is pretty dead) for
about 6/8 months - where by virtue of being one of the
only jazz trios in the city - we were gigging on a weekly
basis..

Having come to Japan however, i've been going to jam
sessions in different places - on a weekly basis i'd say and.. Hm.. I haven't been able to get
together a steady playing option and therefore, regularly attending these open jams has become my sole musical outlet..

Naturally every one at these sessions is usually much older and much more experienced (the average seems to hold anywhere between 8-15 years of playing experience)..
And naturally, getting on stage with these people has given
me the ass kicking of a life time.. Being handed songs
that i've never heard before - with people i've never played
with before and here's the pinch - dealing with the intonation of a bass that i haven't played before..

I seem to hold my own until it comes time to solo, where
things turn pretty hit or miss (usually miss).. But its such a doing by learning thing.. Well.. I know that i've definitely grown immensely since i've gotten here and that i should be
happy with the oppurtunity and exposure..

I also know that my walking lines have grown and I certainly am aiming higher.. but at the same time, I can't help but feel
like my confidence level has gotten murdered here..
and its taking all hell to start rebuilding it.. I feel jittery before
I go on stage all over again and aaaaah .. feels like i just cleaned the slate to start over again..

I keep pushing myself to go back to these venues as often as i can... And what i can see is that, even though every night, despite getting killed, the number of small wins are increasing .. its still hard in a way.. More than anything there's a huge language barrier.. People applause some times and other times they dont, but i can't seem to talk to any one after.. So dealing with it becomes a pretty solitary experience.

Just the works.. you guys get it.. Again, I know I should keep practicing and just go with it.. but still, if any of you guys have been in a simliar situation, it would be good to hear your story.

Cheers.

[TroyK]

Yeah, it's fairly normal. Don't mean to be flippant, but when you go up in markets like that and when you're new, it can be a tough hump to get over. Japan has a pretty serious jazz scene, I understand.

A couple of pieces of advice. You said that the sessions were your only musical outlet. PRACTICE! Play with recordings, transcribe. Take the opportunity to woodshed.

Second, this sounds obvious, but if you're coming apart in your solo, practice soloing. Take 10 tunes (you've got lots of time), learn the heads, learn the changes and practice soloing. I used to hate to solo on A Night in Tunisia, then duh, I spent a couple of hours in the basement playing "a night in tunisia", I listened to as many recordings as I could. I played along to get the feel, played the melody and that bass riff, then I improvized for hours on it. I have no idea why I had to learn to do that, but I did and maybe it's an idea for you too. Sure, we improvise, but we shouldn't practice on stage. We should play onstage what we've practiced.

That being said, you will have to read down and tune or two at a session. If you go to the same sessions, look for patterns of what they call and try to learn those tunes. When you go up to play, see if you can steer the call to something you've been practicing. Have 5 or 6 tunes in mind that you are most comfortable with when you go up there. "how about ____________?" It's key if you want to put your best foot forward.

Be humble, but don't get down on yourself if this is something that you want to do. It is a painful break in period. Don't misrepresent yourself. Be honest about where you are and appreciative of the opportunity to jam and keep going back.

And don't be a JAMF.

[x15]

Thank you for the advice, I do appreciate it.. I managed to find a double bass here a few weeks ago, so practice has been happening on a daily basis.. I forgot to mention that..
I don't think i'd be able to keep showing up at those sessions,
if I didn't practice back in my room..

And what's a JAMF haha.