An actual response to my CL ad...

**TheFantod** · #1 09-29-2010, 08:47 PM

...I would have posted this in the "Dumb Craigslist" posting, but it's nearing 1000 posts and may soon be bumped away to the nether regions of TB.

Anyway, I put an ad in last week looking for guitarists for a punk band. I was very straight forward in the posting. Some of the prerequisites were: owning or at least having access to a reliable car, knowing chords without looking at your left hand for 5 minutes, and a professional attitude. Here is a response I got, word for word. I have omitted some naughty language and proper names to protect the ~~ignorant~~ innocent.

whats good man

i like to play punk like old sex pistols and ramones style punk

not ***** tight jeans and girly hair cut punk but punk punk

mo hawks leather spikes fake english accents and ****** guitars at loud volumes

o and i smoke pot OFTEN

i have almost 7 years of playing bass guitar and violin and i plan to go to *** for guitar performance so i am a serious musician

i dont have alot of chord theory so callin out chords and expecting to me know them wolnt really work but i can pick up tabs fast and play by ear. punk is 75% power chords any way

i got my own equipment and all that i dont have a car rightt now but i got gas money and room to practice at my place even at night honestly i preffer night jams i find im more creative at night

There are so many things I want to say to this kid, but instead I just sent a polite response telling him he wasn't what we're looking for, and best of luck to him.

**colcifer** · #2 09-29-2010, 08:51 PM

Well, he doesn't get any points for spelling and punctuation...

M0ses · #3 09-29-2010, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colcifer

Well, he doesn't get any points.

Fixed that up for ya'.

klokker · #4 09-29-2010, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheFantod

...
There are so many things I want to say to this kid, but instead I just sent a polite response telling him he wasn't what we're looking for, and best of luck to him.

You did good here I think.

hamertek98 · #5 09-30-2010, 12:29 AM

You should find out what kinda weed he has first............. hehe

totallyfrozen · #6 09-30-2010, 01:48 AM

Well, I think you were good about it. Kid can't seem to focus or pay attention. A bassist looking for a guitarist with a car isn't really intersted in a guy with 7 years experience on bass and violin but no car. Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.

RestInPieces · #7 09-30-2010, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by totallyfrozen

Well, I think you were good about it. Kid can't seem to focus or pay attention. A bassist looking for a guitarist with a car isn't really intersted in a guy with 7 years experience on bass and violin but no car. Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.

Yup. That guy is totally punk. Why didn't you hire him mate? Isn't smoking pot, bad grammar, and not giving sh1t about chords kinda the whole point of punk?

kcole4001 · #8 09-30-2010, 08:58 AM

No points for reading comprehension either.

No car or chord knowledge, but like he said, 'you don't need that fer punk'!

robgo · #9 09-30-2010, 09:06 AM

I'm not sure about his response, but your assertion that you want people with a 'professional attitude' to form a punk band is WAY funnier!!!

father of fires · #10 09-30-2010, 09:11 AM

I thought he was way cool. I would jam with him. What exactly was wrong with his response and how did it offend your punk sensibilities?

somegeezer · #11 09-30-2010, 09:18 AM

Seems like an actual punk to me... Doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Perfect.

Phalex · #12 09-30-2010, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somegeezer

Seems like an actual punk to me... Doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Perfect.

I concur.

Bonus points to Somegeezer for replying in a fake English accent!

duderasta · #13 09-30-2010, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phalex

I concur.

Bonus points to Somegeezer for replying in a fake English accent!

^ I lol'd

somegeezer · #14 09-30-2010, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phalex

I concur.

Bonus points to Somegeezer for replying in a fake English accent!

+1 My "English" accent. Because we only have one. =P

Jim Campbell · #15 09-30-2010, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somegeezer

Seems like an actual punk to me... Doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Perfect.

i was thinking that.....seems to me the whole punk idea revolves around guys like that,except for the pot.....real punks shoot up

Luckie · #16 09-30-2010, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

i was thinking that.....seems to me the whole punk idea revolves around guys like that,except for the pot.....real punks shoot up

Should that be a requirement?
must be addicted to heroin and not care

Ubersheist · #17 09-30-2010, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by totallyfrozen

Kinda seems like the only part of your ad he read was the word "punk".
He certainly sounds like a punk.

That about sums it up. He pretty much missed the mark on the rest of the ad.

It reminds me of a Craigslist ad that I put up a year or so ago. My ad read something like this:

Quote:

Mellow, easy going 35 yr old bassist seeks upbeat and danceable R+B, rock, reggae, funk or other melodic band. 20+ years of experience seeking professionals. No hard rock or metal, please!

Someone responded with an email that was obviously a form that they sent out to anyone who's a bass player:

Quote:

We are looking for Bass Guitar to complete

DEATHSLAYER.

We practice at least once a week.

Having fun and writing good music is our goal.

Some of our influences include Slayer, Disturbed, Death, Metallica, Lamb of God, 3 Inches of Blood, EXODUS, Tool and Testament.

To schedule a tryout, call Xxxx at (xxx)-xxx-xxxx.

myspace.com/xxxxxxxxxxx

I checked out their myspace site for the hell of it, and they're not bad, but obviously, not at ALL what I described in my ad. They obviously didn't read the ad at all. I was irritated that they wasted my time, so I sent 'em an email that they surely would read:

Quote:

Thanks for responding! However, I'm not sure where in my ad it indicated that I'm looking for a thrash metal band. Thanks for responding, but no thanks.

BTW - you may want to change the band's name. There's already a popular East Coast band from the '80s with the same name, and a couple other bands elsewhere, too. How about Testament Tool, or Anthrax Exodus?

Best of luck...

jgroh · #18 09-30-2010, 11:07 AM

So is ol' 420 lights out here a guitarist or bassist or violinist? Im confused mannnn

Ubersheist · #19 09-30-2010, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jgroh

So is ol' 420 lights out here a guitarist or bassist or violinist? Im confused mannnn

I'm not sure it matters! What instrument the guy plays might be the least of your concerns.

BigOldHarry · #20 09-30-2010, 11:16 AM

...o and i smoke pot OFTEN

...i dont have alot of chord theory so callin out chords and expecting to me know them wolnt really work but i can pick up tabs fast and play by ear.

Exactly how does this equate to:

... i am a serious musician

???