Another CL winner

[StuartV]

http://tallahassee.craigslist.org/muc/2175778108.html

Band seeks drums, bass, guitar, vocals & keys

Date: 2011-01-23, 1:15PM EST
Reply to: see below

I'm a rhythm guitarist that has been playing for 3 weeks, so no, I'm not a lead player yet, but I have a band called Naysayer that kicks ass. I play nothing but what I've learned in the last 3 weeks which is part of Stairway To Heaven, most of Smoke On The Water, all of Smells Like Teen Spirit, I love that verse riff, and part of Roundabout by Yes, I got that first sweep nailed. Whatever we play Naysayer kicks ass.

Anyway I need to fill out this band with only pro players, that have nothing but pro gear. And someone needs to have an amp for me too, & a PA because I sing 1 or 2 back ups. I think its more important that we have lights though so I can see the tape marks on my neck. I'd like to play through an Orange amp, & the other guy to use a Marshall, so I hope someone has a job in the band. I'm only 15 so I'm not getting a job yet. We can play here at my house unless it's dinner time. But yeah so I need a shred guitar player, a singer that can scream, then sing high, then sing low, then scream again without messing up their throat because as the voice of Naysayer you'll need to be able to sing whenever I need you to. Like if I call you from my grand mom's & tell you to sing for her, you'll need to be able to do that. For drums I want someone as fast as travis barker, but not as sloppy as the rev, or whoever that new guy is playing for A7X, he kinda sucks. Anyway, I wanna sound like Pink Floyd & Lamb of God, so I'll need the drummer to have octotoms & extra-cymbals for me to smash with my guitar at shows. The bass player just needs to be breathing right. Who can't play bass? Naysayer will be badass, no Naysayer is badass. I've been thinking about adding keys too, but she'll have to be hot & know how to sing high for the super sick facemelting choruses that I have memorized.

Also everyone needs to be ready to practice 3x's a day, 5-6 days a weeks. I wanna play everywhere there is to play here in Tallahassee so we'll need to be ready. I'll make easy mac for lunch.

Anyway I just moved here, my name is Dustin. Let me if you want to audition & for which part. For the audition I want the guitarist drummer & bassist to work out Rush's YYZ in 6/8, played to a Bosso.

[StuartV]

And another:

http://tallahassee.craigslist.org/muc/2175816291.html

Is there anybody out there?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-01-23, 1:36PM EST
Reply to: comm-tcg2c-2175816291@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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This is my third post and im getting tired of doing this.I have a Gibson Les Paul and a Marshall 100 watt half stack. I also have a 50 watt Ibanez bass amp and two bass guitars.I want to practice about two days a week just to get something moving.I am a liberal pot smoker with a dream to be able to wright and play any style of music that our band wants to.I want to have a mixture of Alternative, Classic, Electronic, Progressive, Punk, and folk rock. I want to have stage pressence and be able to create a good time and atmosphere. I want to have realistic goals and a concept album. We need to sit down and brainstorm what message we want these songs to have. I want someone thats going to teach me about myself and how I play. Music can not be done alone we have to band together if you want to succeed. We all know that this world is full of lies and decite why not come together and make something positive for a change. I want to fight for peace but we dont have to. I want to have fun again with music I miss that feeling of playing a song in unison and going with that feeling not thinking on what to play next. I miss knowing a song so well that you zone out in the middle and by the end you wonder what happened. Music is a fun experience that can bring joy in your life if you are looking for that message me back. When you message me please give me your number i will call you asap.I am looking to start a band or join the right group. I want to write new material but i am willing to learn songs. My interests are Modest Mouse, Interpol, Radiohead, The Killers, The Mars Volta, Pinkfloyd and many more.

[tsunami1052]

Priceless. I will bring the easy mac.

P.S. I only play punk polka.

[OPBASSMAN1994]

The first guy can't actually be serious can he? If so, it seems we've actually found a guy who's IQ would be rivaled by a potato.

[Pearldiver]

Originally Posted by OPBASSMAN1994

The first guy can't actually be serious can he? If so, it seems we've actually found a guy who's IQ would be rivaled by a potato.

Can we please have a thread that doesn't dissolve into potato insults?

[mizzou541]

Originally Posted by StuartV

http://tallahassee.craigslist.org/muc/2175778108.html

Band seeks drums, bass, guitar, vocals & keys

Date: 2011-01-23, 1:15PM EST
Reply to: see below

I'm a rhythm guitarist that has been playing for 3 weeks, so no, I'm not a lead player yet, but I have a band called Naysayer that kicks ass. I play nothing but what I've learned in the last 3 weeks which is part of Stairway To Heaven, most of Smoke On The Water, all of Smells Like Teen Spirit, I love that verse riff, and part of Roundabout by Yes, I got that first sweep nailed. Whatever we play Naysayer kicks ass.

Anyway I need to fill out this band with only pro players, that have nothing but pro gear. And someone needs to have an amp for me too, & a PA because I sing 1 or 2 back ups. I think its more important that we have lights though so I can see the tape marks on my neck. I'd like to play through an Orange amp, & the other guy to use a Marshall, so I hope someone has a job in the band. I'm only 15 so I'm not getting a job yet. We can play here at my house unless it's dinner time. But yeah so I need a shred guitar player, a singer that can scream, then sing high, then sing low, then scream again without messing up their throat because as the voice of Naysayer you'll need to be able to sing whenever I need you to. Like if I call you from my grand mom's & tell you to sing for her, you'll need to be able to do that. For drums I want someone as fast as travis barker, but not as sloppy as the rev, or whoever that new guy is playing for A7X, he kinda sucks. Anyway, I wanna sound like Pink Floyd & Lamb of God, so I'll need the drummer to have octotoms & extra-cymbals for me to smash with my guitar at shows. The bass player just needs to be breathing right. Who can't play bass? Naysayer will be badass, no Naysayer is badass. I've been thinking about adding keys too, but she'll have to be hot & know how to sing high for the super sick facemelting choruses that I have memorized.

Also everyone needs to be ready to practice 3x's a day, 5-6 days a weeks. I wanna play everywhere there is to play here in Tallahassee so we'll need to be ready. I'll make easy mac for lunch.

Anyway I just moved here, my name is Dustin. Let me if you want to audition & for which part. For the audition I want the guitarist drummer & bassist to work out Rush's YYZ in 6/8, played to a Bosso.

Pure awesomeness...I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's being a smart ass so bravo!

[fleabee]

The first one is a joke I assume, there isn't even a way to respond to the ad.

[jmac]

"wright" when you want to document something and be correct at the same time.

[StuartV]

Yes, I do believe the first one was a tongue-in-cheek response to the awesomeness of many of the other local CL posts recently. Like the second one.

[Stan Laurel]

Rats! I don't think he has an opening for a hip-hop contra basoonist.

[superdick2112]

Originally Posted by Pearldiver

Can we please have a thread that doesn't dissolve into potato insults?

Here, here! Comparing that boy's IQ to a potato in an insult to potatoes everywhere!

[slaps76]

That first one is 100% a joke....pretty funny.

[thumpbass1]

The first ad posted ain't far off the mark from some of the real world, would be band offers, I've come across.

[IbanezBass69]

I want in on the first ad's band. Free easy mac!!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!???? And, I meet his bass player ability standards. I exceed them, as I can walk and play, over just breathing and playing! I am so in!