Asked my age... what the hell?!

BadBassNo9 · #1 07-05-2011, 07:32 PM

Hello all,

I recently replied to an ad in the local paper asking for a bass player. The person responded and over the phone, asked how old i am. Can you believe it? I found it quite rude. She then went on to explain (albeit very briefly) that they're all in their mid-twenties and are looking for "somebody they could relate to"

. I'm 41. I explained that they should meet a person first before asking their age.

Well, here's something i can relate to: i don't respond well to rude questions and i'm likely not to be bothered with these people.

pnut166 · #2 07-05-2011, 07:36 PM

Um, I don`t see it as rude at all. I`m 38, and personally, do not want to spend evenings hanging out with 22 yos.

bassteban · #3 07-05-2011, 07:44 PM

If the person looking for a bass player considers it pertinent to take age into account, then it is. BTW, I am 47, play in a covers band w/another old dude(also 47, drummer)& two mid-twenties guitarists. It has been great but the differences in *where we all are in our lives* is becoming more & more noticeable: No, can't practice that night- daughter has ballet; not THAT night, son & I have karate, etc...
perhaps these guys want to avoid such issues.

Matt R. · #4 07-05-2011, 07:47 PM

That's totally acceptable for them to ask. That's the way it is.

kenfxj · #5 07-05-2011, 07:50 PM

Wouldn't bother or offend me.

fourstringdrums · #6 07-05-2011, 07:54 PM

Not rude at all. Eventually it was a question that was bound to come up just out of curiosity.

It's also not out of the question for people to want to play with others who are in their age group. My band is all around the same age and we're like family. My previous band, everyone was in their late 40's/50's and I was 28ish, and we had no connection due to the age difference.

Just Bill · #7 07-05-2011, 08:12 PM

Was a preferred age range part of the criteria in the ad?

I remember seeing ads, back in L.A., that listed things such as Must have pro equipment and black bass; No facial hair; Must have black hair; Must be 18 - 24; Must be thin; (and the ever popular) No 818s.

You weren't what they were looking for and it's best to just get it out of the way. You're, probably, better off for it.

N.F.A. · #8 07-05-2011, 08:18 PM

818s.. Let me save the curious the trouble.
Urban Dictionary: 818
I just looked it up too.

lowfreq33 · #9 07-05-2011, 08:35 PM

Sounds like they didn't want to waste your time or theirs. Image is important for a lot of bands, and no matter how good someone is if they don't look like they fit with the rest of the band it can be a tougher sell.

FlyingFinn · #10 07-05-2011, 08:37 PM

Nothing rude about that, you are just sensitive person.

N.F.A. · #11 07-05-2011, 08:37 PM

If you are out looking for a band this probably won't be the last time someone asks.

AMp'D.2play · #12 07-05-2011, 08:41 PM

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that question being asked.

Marty Forrer · #13 07-05-2011, 08:47 PM

I remember reading an interview with Stuart Hamm. He said he saw an ad for a bass player, and when he replied the very first question asked was "what do you look like"? It was for a touring band for Cher....

heb9_28 · #14 07-05-2011, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N.F.A.

818s.. Let me save the curious the trouble.
Urban Dictionary: 818
I just looked it up too.

thanks.

jhfishn · #15 07-05-2011, 08:54 PM

Actually ......... I have to agree with BadBassno9

Are you looking for a musician or a playmate. Younger folk have schedules too so the idea of the kids ballet seems irrelavant to me especially if you are into music say on a full time basis.

It's also discriminatory and that means against the law. Fortunatley there are things in place should it happen in the day job market but people get away with all kinds of this when the don't have to be held accountable.

And let's face it ... Aerosmith, Tower of Power, Madonna ect (trying to get a few different styles) are no spring chickens yet their music still rides the airwaves .... and even folks like Dave Mathews, Pearl Jam, Jane's Addiction are starting to move into the 30/40 age realm. Someon that's in their 20's eventually are going to come up against the same stuff at one point as the get older .... and their not gonna like it either.

My 2 cents ......... anyway ....... I do think if it were my band I'd be more interested in the quality of player and what they were looking for/how they may be a good fit or not .... rather than just brush a potential good player off just because of chronology. What hurt could an audition do.

Oh ........... yeah .......... I'm 55

BadBassNo9 · #16 07-05-2011, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Bill

Was a preferred age range part of the criteria in the ad?

I remember seeing ads, back in L.A., that listed things such as Must have pro equipment and black bass; No facial hair; Must have black hair; Must be 18 - 24; Must be thin; (and the ever popular) No 818s.

You weren't what they were looking for and it's best to just get it out of the way. You're, probably, better off for it.

Yeah, there was none of that. I think i'll suggest it if she bothers ringing back. The thing that got me is that it was a straight out question, no buffering it up. Anyway, whatev.

Jhfishn, exactly. It has made me realise that i will have a set of criteria when i advertise or answer an ad. I'm not ready to advertise yet, but thought i'd respond to these people cause they sounded relatively compatible. Imo, it is silly to cut your opportunities short. For all they know, i could be a sh!t hot bass player, or had some amazing experience or equipment that they could have used. I think it's pretty crazy screening and cutting people out before a meeting has occurred. And, yeah, i won't be so senstive next time

5StringBlues, lol. Granny power

steveksux · #17 07-05-2011, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BadBassNo9

I'm 41. I explained that they should meet a person first before asking their age.

That's how we did it in the olden days...

Bands with delusions of making it know you gotta be young to get a break in the biz. Not going to make it with a bass player who's 41, tied down with wife, kids, career.

Bands with an image can't afford to have middle aged guys in the band.

They get to pick whoever they want, based on whatever criteria they deem important. To find out these things, as quickly as possible to avoid wasting each others time, its best to just ask and start eliminating guys that won't fit.

Its there loss if they choose criteria poorly. But that's their choice to make.

I'd rather find out I don't have a chance to win the audition before I schlep all my gear over there and learn their songs.

If that's something that's important to them, its not rude of them to ask. Its negligent of them NOT to ask.

Randy

perfektspace6 · #18 07-05-2011, 09:07 PM

Would you prefer to show up and then have them decide you are too old?

jhfishn · #19 07-05-2011, 09:09 PM

I'd prefer to show up and have them hear me .... then make their decision

I have had it happen where I showed up for a gig and the leader got all flustered and asked if I could play rock .... and then if I could slap ....

It didn't connect with me what he was saying. 2 tunes later into the gig and I wound up with a string of gigs they hired me for ........... same old carcass I arrived with .... I wonder why?

**jmattbassplaya** · #20 07-05-2011, 09:12 PM

Not rude at all. I've played with guys much older than I who didn't care about my age, and I've been turned down from ever even auditioning because I was 'too young'. I wouldn't take it personally. Some people rather be around others who they can relate to more easily, and some people don't care so long as you can play and the music is good.