My old drummer, who had a moderate stuttering impairment would occasionaly hurl this one (and a handful of change) at a dead crowd; "here's some #$% quarters now go play the $%^ jukebox!" He was also good for the occasional "If you ain't got it, clap!"
Another favorite is "Hi, how y'all doin? If ya don't like us then we're the Dixie Chicks. Hit our website and let us have it. Otherwise we're (insert band name here)."
No Ma'am, I'm not as talented as the other guitarist in the band. That's why he gets six strings and I only get four.