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01-15-2013, 09:11 AM
| | | | A Bad Joke
So, at a gig recently things were pretty mellow and the audience was not very responsive, so I tried spicing things up with some humor. "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is.. When will I get there?!"
Needless to say, nobody laughed.
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"Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself" -Miles Davis
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01-15-2013, 09:13 AM
| | | | Maybe: "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is... when will it finally relieve itself?"
Then again, maybe that's even worse...
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Way Huge Pedal Club #10; Fender Jazz Bass Club #742; Source Audio Sorcerers #70; Maryland/Virginia/DC Bassists Club #40; 3Leaf Audio #66; John Paul Jones Fan Club #7
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01-15-2013, 09:19 AM
|  | Psst. It's "Squier" | | Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Philly suburbs | | My go-to bad joke is:
What's a pirate's favorite drink?
Rum.
And then I turn away from the mic and listen for the groans 
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01-15-2013, 09:40 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: RVA | | | next time you could say what is Pirates favorite letter???
RRRRRRRRR
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01-15-2013, 10:21 AM
| | | My personal favourite 'awkward joke':
What are the similarities between cows and grass?
They both moo, except the grass.
Makes me happy
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01-15-2013, 10:23 AM
|  | I wanna be...say, what day is it today, Ted? | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Location, Location | | Quote:
Originally Posted by thedudebrah  My go-to bad joke is:
What's a pirate's favorite drink?
Rum.
And then I turn away from the mic and listen for the groans | Which rum?
Bac-aarrrgh-di, of course!
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"The first thing to do is don't stop. The second thing to do is keep going" -Frank Zappa | Lone Wolf Club # 78 Quote:
Originally Posted by hover tell him the cab could double as a pulpit. A gloriously rawkin pulpit. | |
01-15-2013, 10:58 AM
|  | Registered User | | | | Since we are on pirate jokes I have a few
What is a pirates favorite element on the Periodic Table?
Argon
What was the pirates favorite movie from 2012?
Argo |
01-15-2013, 11:01 AM
|  | Registered User
Exar went out of business, so... | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: PDX, OR | | | What was that movie rated?
Aarrrr... |
01-15-2013, 11:05 AM
| | Registered User | | | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bongomania What was that movie rated?
Aarrrr... | Ha ha nice, and yes, yes it was |
01-15-2013, 11:09 AM
| | | | i like to tell the sound guy to adjust my autotune. |
01-15-2013, 05:15 PM
| | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: No. (I wish) lol | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: Vancouver, BC Canada | | | They probably didn't get it. Most audience members may not be familiar with the music phrases such as "walking bass line."
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01-15-2013, 05:56 PM
| | I wanna be...say, what day is it today, Ted? | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Location, Location | | Quote:
Originally Posted by capncal i like to tell the sound guy to adjust my autotune. | Now that's a good one!
__________________
"The first thing to do is don't stop. The second thing to do is keep going" -Frank Zappa | Lone Wolf Club # 78 Quote:
Originally Posted by hover tell him the cab could double as a pulpit. A gloriously rawkin pulpit. | |
01-15-2013, 06:00 PM
| | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: Fender Basses, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings | | Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: South Shore, Massachusetts | | | Since I live in the Boston area where apparently people think Tom Brady is God, the joke I use is:
Peyton and Eli Manning walk into a bar..........................................To watch the playoffs
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"If you don't want the truth don't ask. Make up your own like everyone else does". (Michael Pare as Eddie Wilson/Joe West in Eddie and The Cruisers II).
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01-15-2013, 06:08 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Virginia Beach, VA | | | Football jokes, eh?...
Why does Lambeau Field have astro-turf?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during the game.
Riis
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01-15-2013, 06:13 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Duluth, MN | | Quote:
Originally Posted by ItchyPBass My personal favourite 'awkward joke':
What are the similarities between cows and grass?
They both moo, except the grass.
Makes me happy | I don't get it. |
01-15-2013, 06:22 PM
|  | ☼ | | Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Marlborough, MA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob C I don't get it. | They both mow, except the cows  |
01-15-2013, 06:24 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: fort worth, texas | | | did you hear the one about the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants?
he said, "arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
i'm hear all week, try the veal.......
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01-15-2013, 06:25 PM
| | ☼ | | Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Marlborough, MA | | | My favorite is also the shortest joke in the world:
"A baby seal walks into a club..." |
01-15-2013, 06:27 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: fort worth, texas | | | wow.
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Fender jazz #904/P-bass #932/Never be a Venue that Charges ME to Play Club#12/GB Club #428/Sunn owner #79
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01-15-2013, 06:48 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Fairfax, VA | | | Our next song... Have any of you been really screwed over in relationships?
*cheers, hoots etc*
Great, because this song is not about that.
1234!!!
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