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01-17-2013, 09:48 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2012 Location: Louisville KY | | | When we arrived at our gig last Sat. night I told the bartender that the rest of my bandmate were recovering alcoholics and not to give them any alcohol no matter how much they begged.
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Stingray Club #402/ Rickenbacker #463/ Fender Jazz #1063/ 5-String Club #526/ Ampeg V4 Club #45/ Shen #34 |
01-17-2013, 10:06 AM
|  | Every exit is an entry somewhere else | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northern CA. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert Slide  When we arrived at our gig last Sat. night I told the bartender that the rest of my bandmate were recovering alcoholics and not to give them any alcohol no matter how much they begged. | That's really funny stuff right there. |
01-17-2013, 10:25 AM
|  | ☼ | | Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Marlborough, MA | | | What do dating and driving have in common?
They both involve being chased by the police if you go too fast!
Hit it! (into some really fast song) |
01-17-2013, 12:05 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brookfield, CT | | | OK.
Why did the baby cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the baby.
Yeah, I know.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Bassist4Eris My reggae skills are rudimentary enough that I just play whatever the original guy played. :) | |
01-18-2013, 06:38 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Philly | | Quote:
Originally Posted by stingray2112 I'm going to have to use that one day | I'd like to introduce the members of the band right now....... this way if somthing goes wrong you'll know who to blame.
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"Any day above ground is a good day"
Spector Club #139
Ken Smith Club #00000
Mickey Mouse Club
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01-18-2013, 11:17 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Edinburgh | | | Who is the nicest guy in the hospital???
The ultra-sound guy.
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital?
The hip replacement guy.
Absolutely terrible, but made me chuckle!!
An Irish guy is rushed to hospital with severe burns on both ears. "how did this happen?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I was ironing my shirt when the phone rang..."
"ok, but how did you burn the other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance"
(I'm Irish so I'm allowed to tell these jokes!!!) |
04-01-2013, 06:00 PM
| | | | What's the difference between an orange?
Firetruck, because vests don't have sleeves.
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"Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself" -Miles Davis
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04-01-2013, 06:58 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Virginia Beach, VA | | | Two drunks talking in a Norfolk bar:
#1) "So...what did you do last night after closing time?"
#2) "Well, I was walking through the railyard on my way to the apartment when I ran across a chick tied to the railroad tracks. I cut her loose and took her back to my place...we had a little party that lasted all night, if you know what I mean!"
#1) "You lucky bastard! Tell me: was she pretty?"
#2) "Don't know...never found the head."
Riis
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"...my whole body's a weapon" - Luther Heggs |
04-01-2013, 07:04 PM
| | | | Boss(on loud speaker): "Boat 601, Boat 601 your time is up"
Assistant: "Sir we don't have a Boat 601"
Boss(on loud speaker):"Boat 109 do you need assistance?"
Why did the bike fall over?
It was two tired!
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What do I know, I'm just a name on the internet R.I. Bass Players Club #41; P & W Band Bassists club #1216: John Paul Jones Fan Club #10
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04-01-2013, 07:23 PM
|  | User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: East Coast | | | Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
Because she was a woman.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre.
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04-02-2013, 01:22 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2011 Location: yucca valley, california | | | what's a Jew's favorite letter?
It's not Z.
^not intended to be anti semitist btw.
Last edited by the wako kid : 04-02-2013 at 01:28 PM.
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04-02-2013, 02:04 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ottawa, ontario, canada | | | A woman who lived to a hundred passed away , she attributed her longevity
to daily marajuana usage .
She is survived by 30 grandchildren and the longest to-do list in history. |
04-25-2013, 08:21 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Niagara Falls, ON | | | A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop... |
04-25-2013, 09:05 PM
| | | | Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine?
He's recovered.
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Cool Strap 1; EBMM Reflex 3; Fernandes 24; Squier Jaguar VM SS 91; Green 105; Crappy Bassist... 195; G-B 365
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04-25-2013, 09:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: AMERICA | | | How is a pizza like sex? Because when it's good, it's good. And when it's bad, it's still pretty good. |
04-25-2013, 09:42 PM
|  | I want to be HER bicycle | | Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Northern California | | | Did you hear about the guy who slipped while using a tablesaw and accidentally cut his entire left side off? He's all right now
__________________
Go ahead and swoop
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04-25-2013, 09:52 PM
|  | Trying to make it without looking stupid... | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO | | | How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her...
And one more...
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
__________________
"The bass is played with the soul, not just the hands."
P&W Bassist:556 | Cirrus:42 | Carvin:292 | Zoom:145
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04-25-2013, 10:05 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Queensland Australia | | | What's got four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.....
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Barn Nothing is set in stone, just in velcro. | |
04-26-2013, 12:47 AM
|  | Registered User | | | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban Did you hear about the guy who slipped while using a tablesaw and accidentally cut his entire left side off? He's all right now | And then go into the song "All Right Now" by Free.
__________________
Spector club #243, Rickenbacker #487, Country Bassist #18
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04-26-2013, 02:38 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand | | | Probably heard this before but..
Wht's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of 5. . . badoomp chhhh
__________________
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