BAD NAKED!

[P. Aaron]

'Kay, we're at "The Shantie". 9 Mile and Ryan in Warren MI. For a Friday-Saturday gig.

It's early Friday, we're not even through the first set and we're getting flashed by a woman. She's flashing us with the rapidity of morse code and we're getting more info than we need from this flasher. She ain't no looker.

The Shantie is a "family" restaurant pub. It's pub time and we're playin' and this woman suddenly has no shirt or bra where both are needed desperately! Finally managment convinces her to put her shirt back on. Thank the heavens, there is a God!

So, the first set is done and here's this...flasher and she wants us to sign them! I've been married 13 years, and the thought of even being in company with a female stranger's parts is reviled by every part of my being. I don't care what she looks like in this circumstance. It's my turn to sign and I put the cap on the back of the pen, and holding it in the tips of my fingers with my head turned scribble something. uuugggghh! I'm thinkin' of that 10 ft. pole analogy at about this time.

Fortunately it was a Sharpie and not a ball point pen.

[Bard2dbone]

I feel your pain.

Several years back, we had a gig at a private party that turned out not to be the kind of party we expected.

The house was amazing. There was a two story tall 'wall-of-windows' on the back side of the living room, with a view into the back yard and pool area. It was all cool until, at some cue I never saw, most of the people started shedding clothes. And several of them started getting waaaaaaaay too up-close-and-personal with each other, like in front of everybody and stuff.

Now this might SOUND all hip, cool, and theckthay (My daughters friends pronounce sexy that way, for some reason.), but it SOOOOOOOOOO wasn't. There are people out there that should never be allowed to be naked. Federal law should require these people to shower in a three piece suit, or possibly a burqa.

This party was just about a convention for those people.

It hurt my eyes. it was bad.

[Josh Ryan]

Blech.

[Mo'Phat]

At one of our latest gigs, there was this girl (hot, blond, eye candy) who was wasted at least an hour before we started playing. Halfway through our 2nd song, her shirt was coming up. After our 3rd song, here yubblies were a permanent fixture. Then she started getting to be just a pain in the a$$, wanting to talk into the mic and stepping all over our guitarists' pedals. She eventually was taken outside before our first set ended, puked on one of our friends and passed out against the palm tree out front until her cab showed up.

Moral of the story: Nice rack.

[Matt Till]

When signing breasticles, always use a fake name, or draw boobs.

[Eric Moesle]

I love it when they show the good ones, hate it when they show the bad. It seems like its usually the people who shouldn't pull them out are the ones most eager to do it sometimes.

If pressed to sign them, just write "Blind Eddie" or "Do NOT look down!" . . . that usually works.

. . . then go wash your hands with LOTS of soap and hot water . . .

[Petary791]

That's such a shame that she was ugly...

[Flanders]

Originally Posted by Bard2dbone

There are people out there that should never be allowed to be naked. Federal law should require these people to shower in a three piece suit, or possibly a burqa.

I think you are right. However, if the Federal Gov't is to mandate a three piece for my shower, are they going to subsidise it? I can't afford fancy stuff like that.

If you want to see a good example of what you are talking about, try Burning Man in the Nevada desert. Naked people everywhere <shudder>. It's very strange how fast you stop noticing it, though.

I'll be waiting for my check from the Federal Department of Menswear.

[Peter Squire]

Originally Posted by Matt Till

When signing breasticles, always use a fake name, or draw boobs.

Carrying an empty tatooists gun always works for me.

"Are u sure u like our band?? For life, not just for Christmas?"

Always works.

[Count_Bassy]

Originally Posted by Bard2dbone

I feel your pain.

Several years back, we had a gig at a private party that turned out not to be the kind of party we expected.

The house was amazing. There was a two story tall 'wall-of-windows' on the back side of the living room, with a view into the back yard and pool area. It was all cool until, at some cue I never saw, most of the people started shedding clothes. And several of them started getting waaaaaaaay too up-close-and-personal with each other, like in front of everybody and stuff.

HAhaha! That reminds me of the Jimmy Eat World music video for "The Middle".

[RicPlaya]

Hey P..

We played a gig at good old Paychecks in Hamtrammck (near Detroit) and the band after us has these two checks on stage flashing the nicest fake boobs I ever seen for free. Untill this one chick came up and started to join the flashing party, all I could think of was "flapjacks"......nasty.

[P. Aaron]

Originally Posted by Matt Till

When signing breasticles, always use a fake name, or draw boobs.

I signed, poorly, "Richard Milhous Nixon.

[Stoned Bass]

I had my boob signed by Tre Cool, the drummer from Green Day, Nothing gross I was fully clothed with a low cut top on, I just let him sign my cleavage then I got a kiss on the mouth (eww)

I think you would have to be a major slut to actually take your top off and show all your bare breasts.

But cleavage signing is enjoyable for both parties

[P RicanWITaBASS]

hey well, all of those posts deffinently had me pissing my pants keep um coming

haha, oh ya and catch me on aim as KidWithABass77, and my xanga is gettokillajay

P RICAN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mo'Phat]

Originally Posted by Stoned Bass

I had my boob signed by Tre Cool, the drummer from Green Day, Nothing gross I was fully clothed with a low cut top on, I just let him sign my cleavage then I got a kiss on the mouth (eww)

Tre's the man. Useless without photographic proof, however.

I think you would have to be a major slut to actually take your top off and show all your bare breasts.

That's completely UNTRUE! I'll wait until the next morning to determine if she was a slut or not.

But cleavage signing is enjoyable for both parties

NIIIIICCCEEE!!!

[Phil Mastro]

Originally Posted by Stoned Bass

But cleavage signing is enjoyable for both parties

Will you marry me?

[wilser]

The only possible bad thing a breast can be is ....a male breast.

[silent method]

Originally Posted by wilser

The only possible bad thing a breast can be is ....a male breast.

oh wow do i ever disagree but alas i cannot post pics here *shivers

[wilser]

Originally Posted by silent method

oh wow do i ever disagree but alas i cannot post pics here *shivers

wise words from "drunk dude at gig": there are no ugly chicks ...just not enough alcohol.

[GetLow]

Originally Posted by wilser

The only possible bad thing a breast can be is ....a male breast.

...wrong