Band members who aren't so committed.

jiant. · #1 10-25-2004, 08:48 PM

My band was supposed to get together this past weekend to do some heavy practicing, we haven't played together since our last gig about 3 weeks ago. I get a call on Saturday morning that one guitarist can't make it, and the rest of us can't go to the drummer's house to practice anyway. I ended up going to see a movie with my girlfriend, who happens to be my drummer's sister, and a few other friends. She tells us that her brother was playing with our other guitarist and two other guys that day. My bandmate that I was with and I were ticked. We couldn't believe that they would go behind our backs and do this. She said that they were thinking about quitting and starting up a new band with those guys. After talking to them both said that's not true, and that they were just messing around. I know one of them has lied to the rest of us before, and I don't know what to think. They said that now they see how hard starting their own band would be(they both joined after this band had been around a little while) and they said that they were just weighing their options for next year, when both I and one guitarist are probably going off to out of state colleges. We're having a practice tomorrow, we have a radio interview/ in studio acoustic set Thursday, and 3 shows within the first 2 weeks of November. Questions will be answered tomorrow, and I guess we'll just go from there. This crap really sucks, but I hope they'll be straight with us and we can work this out, I've had more fun playing shows with these guys than anything else I've been with, not to mention they're both very talented musicians. Oh well.

bassjamn · #2 10-25-2004, 09:07 PM

Well there is no excuse for the guitarist to ditch out on ya and miss practice while playing with others no less.

Just having been on the "Other" side myself, i find some band members can get really possessive about not playing w/other bands or putting time in with other groups. When i mentioned to my old band i was going to try playing with a "Cover" band on occasion ...i got some pretty bad negative vibes about not putting in time to the band.

It's probably best to let them do what they want to do and tell them you really enjoy playing with them. It would be good to make a point that you dont mind them playing with others as long as you know your band practices/gigs wont be affected, that's only fair.
If they continue with their lying ways, miss practices etc. then what can i say.....it's the ol band drama saga, might be best to find someone new.

FunkKing · #3 10-26-2004, 11:43 AM

Ive had a similar experience myself. Just before last christmas I joined a prominent local band and we started practicing loads. Then our drummer seemed to go AWOL and we couldnt get hold of him. Shortly afterwards, he quit the band, and due to a chronic shortage of (good) drummers, we put the band on indefinite hold. Anyway, about febuary, we found another guy. We practiced with him for a good six months, building up a repetoire of songs so we could get back on the scene again, only for him to tell us that he "wasnt into our direction". This annoyed me, as we'd wasted six months when he could have told us earlier. Anyway, he's left now, but our old drummer rang us saying he missed us and wanted to get back on the buzz for drumming again. We've had a few practices, and all in all im glad he's back. He's tighter and funkier than the other drummer, and his bass pedal has more of a presence.

Woodchuck · #4 10-26-2004, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FunkKing

Ive had a similar experience myself. Just before last christmas I joined a prominent local band and we started practicing loads. Then our drummer seemed to go AWOL and we couldnt get hold of him. Shortly afterwards, he quit the band, and due to a chronic shortage of (good) drummers, we put the band on indefinite hold. Anyway, about febuary, we found another guy. We practiced with him for a good six months, building up a repetoire of songs so we could get back on the scene again, only for him to tell us that he "wasnt into our direction". This annoyed me, as we'd wasted six months when he could have told us earlier. Anyway, he's left now, but our old drummer rang us saying he missed us and wanted to get back on the buzz for drumming again. We've had a few practices, and all in all im glad he's back. He's tighter and funkier than the other drummer, and his bass pedal has more of a presence.

What is it with drummers?! We've lost 2 VERY good drummers to stupid reasons, but luckily, each repleacement has been better than the last. On this past Warped Tour, they had a "drum off" amongst the drummers on the tour, and our drummer, Pete, blew them ALL out of the water! It got to the point where people were asking us, "Aren't you in Pete's band?" Pretty cool, but one of the lead singers got jealous!

whiteXcorpse · #5 10-26-2004, 08:38 PM

Not to over glorify myself or any one else, but I joined a pretty well known local band, and had heard stories of their bassist being unreliable and what not. So when I joined the band (I took over the bass) I wasn't surprised when he wasn't at practice half the time. It was almost depressing to see such a good musician go to waste. Well after that band broke up, he joined another band and another, and every time it was the same problem, not showin' up! And hear-say is that he doesn't even have an interest in his bass anymore. This just urks my nerves! this is the guy who basically mentored me through my first couple of years playing. He is a GREAT bassist and I think he needs to re-think his priorities.

Geeezzz... thats a load off my chest.

fatjbass · #6 11-03-2004, 11:46 PM

[quote=jiant.]"I ended up going to see a movie with my girlfriend"QUOTE]

Careful man, girlfriends can be bad news for bands. We kicked out a lead singer because of girlfriend things. I almost got kicked out of my band because of a chick, but I figured out which one to stick with (my band of course.) Every member in my band has had a girlfriend that no one else liked. Of course there are always exceptions to this. I'm just saying, watch out.

Best of luck.

Kyle Handley

nicoli · #7 11-04-2004, 12:58 AM

No offense, but if you're going to an out of state college next year I see no reason why the other two guys should be totally committed to the project - it's obvious you have priorities that lie elsewhere as well.

That said, screwing you over on the practice like that was a crappy thing to do, and I wouldn't tolerate it for too long before I either moved on or started giving them the same lack of respect.

jiant. · #8 11-04-2004, 07:51 PM

[quote=fatjbass]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiant.

"I ended up going to see a movie with my girlfriend"QUOTE]

Careful man, girlfriends can be bad news for bands. We kicked out a lead singer because of girlfriend things. I almost got kicked out of my band because of a chick, but I figured out which one to stick with (my band of course.) Every member in my band has had a girlfriend that no one else liked. Of course there are always exceptions to this. I'm just saying, watch out.

Best of luck.

Kyle Handley

I guess you missed the part in which I said that we weren't going to practice that day, so why not go?

nicoli- I see what you're saying, but I want to go as far as this as I can. If we're going strong next year, I won't go to college anyway, and all the members in the band should be willing to be dedicated all the time. I'm not telling them they have to stay, but they need to make a choice. I've turned down many offers that have been made to me from bands that were already more reputable than us, so there is no excuse for these guys screwing us over with a few friends from school. That's utter bull crap.

nicoli · #9 11-06-2004, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiant.

nicoli- I see what you're saying, but I want to go as far as this as I can. If we're going strong next year, I won't go to college anyway, and all the members in the band should be willing to be dedicated all the time. I'm not telling them they have to stay, but they need to make a choice. I've turned down many offers that have been made to me from bands that were already more reputable than us, so there is no excuse for these guys screwing us over with a few friends from school. That's utter bull crap.

Well if that's the case you should sit down and have a little chat with them to make sure everyone is on the same page... there's no sense in you not going to the college you want only to be disapointed by how seriously others are taking the project.

LittleJaco · #10 11-07-2004, 09:08 AM

tell me aboot it. SOme girl's going out with our drummer, and the girls brother is a pretty good guitarist. He's not really our style, and he doesnt really have the chordal and melodic knowledge that our present lead guitarist has. But our drummer is insisting that we put him in the band, We're sort of a punk/rock/what the hell are you playing band and if he joined I'd need to change my bass,playing style, and earplugs. A.k.a. It would be a metal band. Its also really wierd going from a jazz gig where everyone is close to mature and there are strict guidlines to what to do to a rock gig where everyone is lazy and they don'tget anything done.

geoffkhan · #11 11-07-2004, 12:42 PM

Ok man, this is one thing that you've gotta get used to: talented musicians play in more than one band! I know it felt like they were going behind your back and jamming with those guys.

LittleJaco · #12 11-10-2004, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geoffkhan

Ok man, this is one thing that you've gotta get used to: talented musicians play in more than one band! I know it felt like they were going behind your back and jamming with those guys.

no, they werent jamming, he just came over. He doesnt even play my instrument any way. And we made an informed decision that we couldnt put him in. (random) its really strange going from jazz gigs to rock gigs, anyone hear play jazz on electric alot?

Aaron Saunders · #13 11-14-2004, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleJaco

no, they werent jamming, he just came over. He doesnt even play my instrument any way. And we made an informed decision that we couldnt put him in. (random) its really strange going from jazz gigs to rock gigs, anyone hear play jazz on electric alot?

I think Mr. Khan was referring to the first post, not you.

LittleJaco · #14 11-16-2004, 03:24 PM

o,
sry

Fret Boiler · #15 11-16-2004, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiant.

If we're going strong next year, I won't go to college anyway....

Dude? WTH? Why would you even consider not going to college, no matter how good you preceive you band's potential? That would be the biggest mistake of your life. Go to college no matter what, otherwise you're uttering destroying your chances of having a successful life. (Besides, there are a ton of band opportunities in college towns, with better players than your jamming with now).

nicoli · #16 11-17-2004, 09:41 AM

I see nothing wrong with taking a semester or two off for touring if that's what you have in mind before getting to college... you never know when you'll have that opportunity again with music, and college would still be there when you get back.

If you're sticking around to play a club show every 6 weeks, I don't think it would be worth it.

LittleJaco · #17 11-17-2004, 03:30 PM

yeah, i agree with them. College is where you really flourish and become a musicial geenius

jiant. · #18 11-29-2004, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fret Boiler

Dude? WTH? Why would you even consider not going to college, no matter how good you preceive you band's potential? That would be the biggest mistake of your life. Go to college no matter what, otherwise you're uttering destroying your chances of having a successful life. (Besides, there are a ton of band opportunities in college towns, with better players than your jamming with now).

What I meant to say is that I wouldn't be going to that college. If we were going pretty strong, I'd go to one of the schools nearby and continue to do school as well as music, unless through some great act of God we were to get signed between now and then and got to tour a lot. With that said, the other two guys are really getting their acts together and realizing that they were being jerks doing this. I hope all keeps going well.

Fret Boiler · #19 11-29-2004, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiant.

What I meant to say is that I wouldn't be going to that college. If we were going pretty strong, I'd go to one of the schools nearby and continue to do school as well as music, unless through some great act of God we were to get signed between now and then and got to tour a lot. With that said, the other two guys are really getting their acts together and realizing that they were being jerks doing this. I hope all keeps going well.

Ahhh! That's good to hear. Best of luck!