Band (sort of) try out gone wrong

[blendermassacre]

This will be a long and sad story.

I had been emailing this guy about a listing he put up for his band needing a bassist. After having to ask off of work last week to get today off to be able to go and practice, i was pretty excited. The guy seemed cool enough, listed good bands he was into etc.

So I show up. We're at his parents house (because they have a basement we can practice in, more on that later) and the first thing he tells me when i get down there is "if you want to make sure that you dont set your cab in cat piss or ****, make sure to put it on that rug".

"uh, ok" was my response.

After some q and a, i come to find out that we're not practicing in his parent's basement because it's the only place, we're practicing there because he lives there. Because he's "gainfully unemployed" at the age of 32. Not only that but according to him he is " the best white blues player ever". Upon further notice there are 4 or 5 pictures of naked girls on the wall from the website "boobs-4u.com":.

He tells me to riff something and he'll play off of it, so we do that for a bit. Then he tells me how there is no band because they broke up because the "chick drummer" fell for the taken keyboardist. This whole time he's been taking vodka shots out of a coffee cup.

Finally I tell him that i have to go, and he wants to play one more song. He takes a couple more shots. We start playing and he loses his pick. He's doing some sort of horrible tapping, hamer on and off bull, hitting almost every note on the fretboard, while he's bent down looking for his pick on the ground.

That's when I pack it up. He stumbles to the car helping me carry my 2x15, and i have one hand on that, and my peavey t max in the other, with the gig bag over my shoulder.

I can't do anything but laugh, but I'd like to hear some other tryout stories, just to make me feel better.

[ashtray]

The sad part is you took a day off work to learn songs to be prepared. Sucks. Sorry to hear this was a colossal waste of your time. Poor dude is hopeless. His parents should kick his butt back into gear instead of letting him crash in a cat-pee/poo infested basement. Ugh. Nasty!

[DRafalske]

I went to audition for a rock band about 1/2 hour north of where I live. I ask him what songs I need to go over for the audition and he tells me "Don't worry about it, we're actually an all original band. I'll teach you the songs when you get here." Um, ok I guess.

So I get there and we get to talking. Its just the guitard and a drummer and me. Super nice guys, nice practice space, they have nice gear. We decide to go ahead and jam for a bit and see how it all works out. I set up my gear, got tuned up, and suggested we play a 12-bar in A to warm up. A few minutes in, I knew I was in trouble; the guitard obviously didn't know how to play a 12-bar.

When that was done, I asked what covers they knew. I wanted to try something we all knew just to get a feel. "Uh, I really don't know any covers. What's the point of learning someone else's music?"
OK, that's valid to a point, but c'mon! I realized I was in more trouble than I initially though.

To make a long story short, this "all original" band turned out to be an 'everybody solo' sort of deal. The songs were terribly written, no structure, NO LYRICS! The guitard knew nothing of theory and the drummer, while talented, was a show off.

They offered me the job. I respectfully declined.

Sorry to hijack your thread, just wanted to share a similar story.

[jarrhead]

Originally Posted by DRafalske

I went to audition for a rock band about 1/2 hour north of where I live. I ask him what songs I need to go over for the audition and he tells me "Don't worry about it, we're actually an all original band. I'll teach you the songs when you get here." Um, ok I guess.

So I get there and we get to talking. Its just the guitard and a drummer and me. Super nice guys, nice practice space, they have nice gear. We decide to go ahead and jam for a bit and see how it all works out. I set up my gear, got tuned up, and suggested we play a 12-bar in A to warm up. A few minutes in, I knew I was in trouble; the guitard obviously didn't know how to play a 12-bar.

When that was done, I asked what covers they knew. I wanted to try something we all knew just to get a feel. "Uh, I really don't know any covers. What's the point of learning someone else's music?"
OK, that's valid to a point, but c'mon! I realized I was in more trouble than I initially though.

To make a long story short, this "all original" band turned out to be an 'everybody solo' sort of deal. The songs were terribly written, no structure, NO LYRICS! The guitard knew nothing of theory and the drummer, while talented, was a show off.

They offered me the job. I respectfully declined.

Sorry to hijack your thread, just wanted to share a similar story.

Are you the respectable guitarist that joined the band with my guitard and drummer?

[jarrhead]

Wait, this is talkbass. Crap.

Not talkguitar. Ooops. (:

[H2ODog]

I have one. I once answered an add in CL for a guy that was putting a blues band together. We talked on the phone and and he said he had a studio and had original material but gave me a couple of cover songs to learn so we can jam.

So i went to the "Studio" that day and it was an old run down garage converted to a studio and it was filthy inside, it gave me the creeps. So i setup and all i was to bring was my bass. The equipment was awful and sounded like crap. I plug in and we start the song, as i'm a little nervous so i just concentrate on my playing and i hear the singer singing but it sounded like he was trying to sing like a guy performing at an opera, i was laughing to myself thinking he's trying to be funny and liven up things. So after we finished he said lets try it again, so he begins to sing and still sounding like someone doing BAD opera...then it hit me, this guy is serious! OMG.

Then the drummer which looked like a homeless guy that needed a bath badly decided he needed a break and go out and have a drink and a joint. Then the singer pull out a paper from his back pocket with a song he has written and wants to sing it. So i say where is the music to it? He says just play anything and i will sing to it (oh boy). So i start doing a blues walk and he starts singing just like before (Opera man) and i listen to the lyrics, something about the devil chasing you and at this point i had enough. And unpluged and packet it in.

That was by far the weirdest audition i have ever done. Looking back on it now it's funny but it wasn't at the time

[blendermassacre]

I think the key is to take these with a grain of salt. If you can't laugh at your own mishaps, you're doing it wrong.

[H2ODog]

Originally Posted by blendermassacre

I think the key is to take these with a grain of salt. If you can't laugh at your own mishaps, you're doing it wrong.

True!

[father of fires]

Story 1:

I jammed with a drummer who's mother I knew from work. He was sort of a momma's boy and I did it out of pity. We get to his mom's house and we start to jam when his Dad comes in. His parents are divorced and his Dad was staying with them while he was in town. He had a few drinks and kept telling me how awesome his boy was. Everytime we played something he'd stand there and watch. When we would stop he would tell me about his son's old band and how proud of him he was. He took me in his son's room and played me his old band's demo. This man believed that his son was the greatest drummer ever.

I ended things early and went home. I saw his mom the next day and she told me how embarrassed her son was and that the next time we jammed she promised his dad wouldn't be there.

What was sad was that I didn't mind his dad so much but, I didn't think he was a very good drummer.

Story 2:

I answered an add online and when I call the guy to set up a jam session he tells me we can't do it for a few months because he'll be in jail. He called me when he got out and said he had a dream about a band with two bassists and I would be the synth/ lead bassist while his buddy was the rhythm bassist. At that point I lost interest completely.

[dmusic148]

I had a guitarist come up to the house who expressed interest in forming a house band; he owned a restaurant down the street and seemed like a nice enough guy- was into some of the same music I'm into, said all the right things, experienced, etc....I thought it would be a good opportunity for a regular, local gig. Great, sign me up.
So he comes over, sets up. He opened his guitar case. The first thing I noticed was his guitar- an immaculate Strat of some sort, red with maple neck, very nice. And I'm a sucker for Strat tone, so, great.
Then, I noticed his strings were RUSTED. "Oh yeah," he says, "I haven't played in a year or so, too busy with the restaurant." My eyes rolled back, and I almost swallowed my tongue. You can guess the rest.

[scottbass]

Originally Posted by DRafalske

To make a long story short, this "all original" band turned out to be an 'everybody solo' sort of deal. The songs were terribly written, no structure, NO LYRICS! The guitard knew nothing of theory and the drummer, while talented, was a show off.

I had one of these experiences a few years ago. Same deal. Guitarist only knew how to play a few songs he had written - which had no real structure. Drummer was solid but unspectacular.

I "taught" them how to play Mustang Sally, which I sang. They asked me to email them the lyrics and chords so they could practice it!

It turns out they thought that if they could attract a bassist who had "real band" experience - which I obviously had - they could start gigging immediately and learn as they went.

I emailed them Mustang Sally, but I never went back.

[oldrocker]

Originally Posted by father of fires

Story 2:

I answered an add online and when I call the guy to set up a jam session he tells me we can't do it for a few months because he'll be in jail. He called me when he got out and said he had a dream about a band with two bassists and I would be the synth/ lead bassist while his buddy was the rhythm bassist. At that point I lost interest completely.

Was his name Miles Davis?

[father of fires]

Originally Posted by oldrocker

Was his name Miles Davis?

I wish.

[RichardCranium]

Years ago I answered an ad for a band seeking bass player. They billed themselves as "radio-ready commercial rock" (remember that phrase for later.)

Called them up and went down to check them out. It was a pair of brothers, guitar & drums. Drove about an hour to their practice place. They seemed to be guys that had well-off parents that financed their musical aspirations. Had a nice practice place, decent equipment and even matching sports cars (must be nice.)

I didn't bring my rig it was just an initial meeting. Seemed like good guys and we got along well. Until they played their tapes.

These guys who billed themselves as "radio-ready commercial rock" were anything but. They didn't know a verse from a vise grip and a chorus from a colander. Just a bunch of disjointed parts stuck together with no rhyme or reason. I asked "Are these just rough ideas?" and they said "No these are finished songs, set in stone." My reaction was . I thanked them and wished them luck and left.

Good guys, decent players, just not a clue as to songwriting. They ran their ad for quite a while after I guess they never found anyone, no surprise there.

[blendermassacre]

Originally Posted by RichardCranium

I didn't bring my rig it was just an initial meeting. Seemed like good guys and we got along well. Until they played their tapes

I wish I would have done this as apposed to hefting my 2x15 down to the weirdo's basement.

[NWB]

A good argument here for lightweight gear, for a quick escape!

I had similar sort of experience to the OP. Parent's basement, adult living at home, shabby equipment (an ancient Peavey head and 2x15 bass rig for guitar!), no particular direction to the music, etc. I couldn't get out quickly enough.

I had the benefit of a 2x10 cab though!

I would like to forget that one very much.

[blendermassacre]

Originally Posted by NWB

A good argument here for lightweight gear, for a quick escape!

I had similar sort of experience to the OP. Parent's basement, adult living at home, shabby equipment (an ancient Peavey head and 2x15 bass rig for guitar!), no particular direction to the music, etc. I couldn't get out quickly enough.

I had the benefit of a 2x10 cab though!

I would like to forget that one very much.

This might be a decent enough excuse to convince my wife I need an avatar 210 neo.

[FunkMetalBass]

I got a phone call one day for a bassist position from a guy I'd never met, but he was a friend of a GREAT drummer that I know, so I spoke with the guy for a bit. He had a steady job, seemed motivated, and said they had quite a few songs written. They were a hard rock style, which worked for me as I play a lot of rock.

So I go down for an audition and the guitarist is going to be late, so I have a jam session with the drummer on my 6-string in standard tuning. We play a lot of funk, but he wants to hear something a little heavier, so I start playing a little faster and lower to emulate a stereotypical hard rock bassline. The drummer is impressed, and I'm impressed with his drumming.

The guitarist shows up and tunes up. I ask him what he plays in. He says he likes to use G# a lot. Cool, out of the ordinary. Then he tells me to tune my B-string down to G#....

From there, he closes the garage door and proceeds to turn his amp up to 11, COMPLETELY DROWNING OUT THE DRUMS with some uber-low quick death/speed metal that used only 3 notes in a boring (out-of-time) rhythm. It was beyond "hard rock."

I played through an entire practice with them, but had to decline do to lack of musicality in their songs (all 12 of which were the same chords in slightly different progressions). They've called me back on many occasions saying that they need a bassist for studio work or for a single gig, but they refuse to pay me anything for it, so I keep declining their requests.

The most inconvenient thing was the 45 minute drive out of my way and the bleeding ears, it wasn't nearly as bad as some of the stories I'm reading, but I guess I've just been fortunate in my encounters.

[father of fires]

Story 3:

I tried out for a band that was about 1 1/2 hours away. $5 in tolls both ways and about $20 in gas. The band was alright but nothing exciting. I asked them to jam something so we could see how we play together. None of us new the same songs so I start and a mellow riff in D and the guitarists start doing some some ambient atmospheric stuff. Not their style of music but pretty cool.

Then the drummer comes in like he's Portnoy and kills the groove. I ask him to play a simple groove in 4 so we could try some rock riffs I had that, I thought they might like. He couldn't do it. He had like a 30 peice kit and he felt like he had to use them all at once.

Finally, We work out a few riffs and I ask the singer why he isn't joining in and he said he doesn't improvise. Not that he couldn't but that he "DOESN'T."

Realizing that jamming isn't going anywhere, I start learning one of thier songs. The singer finally comes in and he's awful. They seem to like it so, I guessed that was thier sound. I get one song down and we stop for a break.

The singer tells me they are going on tour next week and wants to make sure I'm available. I JUST MET THESE GUYS!!!

Then the drummer tells me that the practice space (a small room on top of the garage) is his dad's office. The guitarists put their rigs in the closet but I'd have to take mine home after every practice. I've always had big rigs and at the time I had Mesa road-ready 215.

We never picked back up after the break. I just went home. The guitarsits were cool so I told them thier singer and drummer were hacks and they agreed but, they were the only musicians in the area.

I got a million more but I'll leave you with this short one.

Story 4:

I was jamming with a band and they had a funky groove so I slapped a few lines and I heard the guitarist say to the singer, "Oh, he slaps. He's to good for us."

[Gubna]

I have a good one, sorta...
we had been jamming as a trio for a few months and thought it was time to ad a singer. this guy has a studio room, literally, 30 feet down the hall from our room.

so we go down the hall to this singer's room, and chat and listen to some of his tunes on the stereo. I think the general consensus from the three of us was that he could work.

so fast forward to when he brings his gear down to our room to jam - (maybe it was a few days later?) and before we even get to playing - the drummer says "well, no, were not gonna play YOUR songs".
the guy loses it and starts yelling "whaddya mean?!! I brought my PA down here and everything!" and packs up in a huff. our drummer was just like "uh, sorry, guys."

I just thought it was comical. one for the drummer to say that, and two for the guy's response. I mean, he moved his gear down the hall. we had even helped him.

sorry that this wasn't about bass. just witnessed by a bass player.