Band (sort of) try out gone wrong

[father of fires]

Originally Posted by bwest9

Back in the early 70's, T-40's were originally a Soviet secret weapons program for designing impenetrable armor that didn’t work out, and so they sold the plans to Peavey.

You had me for a second. I lol'd. Then I had to explain it to my wife. She didn't get it. I don't know why I bother. Or for that matter why, she ever asks me, "what was so funny," when she knows I'm reading talkbass.

[Dogbertday]

Originally Posted by EquineGuest

I am glad you liked it. This was the Readers Digest condensed version. There was a bit more spooky weirdness that day that I opted to edit out. You know, that is probably the weirdest gig tryout I have had. But, others have come close.

I'd like to read the full version, personally. you could sell that tale to a movie maker

[addylewis]

I was just thinking "it'd make a good scene in a film about Clapton or someone trying to find the band they eventually get known for!"

[joeypistol]

So this was probably my fault

My add on CL: Looking for open minded/ experimental bassists

A guy emails me back and wants to meet. He seems cool enough. His direction took me to the dirtiest trailer home in this run down trailer park. I get out of my car to be greeted by like a 6'5 300 pound 60 ish bald man puffing on a sig. I asked for Dave... and of cores it was him. We talk for a few min outside about what I wanted to do with the band. Turned out he doesn’t play the bass... and I have no idea why he wanted me to come over other than to show me some old videos of him covering " Dance the night away" van halen when he still had hair. the inside of his trailer freshly painted red and believe it or not had a pentagram star above his bed. He then proceeded to offer me a hand rolled cig and a piece of bread

[blendermassacre]

Originally Posted by joeypistol

So this was probably my fault

My add on CL: Looking for open minded/ experimental bassists

A guy emails me back and wants to meet. He seems cool enough. His direction took me to the dirtiest trailer home in this run down trailer park. I get out of my car to be greeted by like a 6'5 300 pound 60 ish bald man puffing on a sig. I asked for Dave... and of cores it was him. We talk for a few min outside about what I wanted to do with the band. Turned out he doesn’t play the bass... and I have no idea why he wanted me to come over other than to show me some old videos of him covering " Dance the night away" van halen when he still had hair. the inside of his trailer freshly painted red and believe it or not had a pentagram star above his bed. He then proceeded to offer me a hand rolled cig and a piece of bread

Haha. apparently he was hoping you were open minded. I'm somehow getting this image in my head

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RQyPVfkyPA

[Stumbo]

Originally Posted by EquineGuest

He tosses the remains at Arnie's feet and declares "You fight like a pickle".

Out the door we choogle, we get to the Van, toss the P bass in, saddle up and make it out of there faster than I thought a VW Bus was capable of.

Been a while since I've seen the "choogle" verb in use. Great story. FTW!

[The Owl]

Here's a whole thread of some hilarious/bizarre/scary audition stories, a couple of mine are included;

Hilarious/Scary/Bizarre Musican Audition Stories

[bassbully]

Great stories guys. One thing that is great about the music scene and it's so called artists are all the weird ones out there that make up stories like these.
There are allot of crazy wannabe musicians living in cat pee basements or with their parents and plenty who cant play a note acting like they are going to be touring the world next week...you gotta love it!

The music world has allot of weridos and it makes it fun for sure. I had a guy who shacked up with a gal who let him stay for free. They had no romantic ties and he had no job or money. She supported him and his weed habit along with his dreams of making it big as a guitarist.
He had crazy dreams of being the next big thing and was only a decent player but felt he was better than the big named metal Gods sig model he was playing. He also made weird guitars out of such things as old chair pieces and headboards form beds I dumped him from an old band i was in and made the mistake of going to his "shop" once...only once LOL.

[Meddle]

I used to jam once at a week at a local speakeasy/deadbeat/hipster place in Edinburgh called the Forest Cafe. Its a nice place with nice people but I've heard at different times that it is run by the police to keep an eye on the local hippies, and I felt there was a 'my dreds are longer than yours' attitude about who was the most deadbeat.

Anyhoo every week I used to jam, I met my band their and joined the next week on one occasion.

However most of the time it is a collection of pretencious hippie chicks and hobos banging away, and typically wanting to borrow my equipment where possible.

On one occasion I was playing guitar with some hippie woman who was singing a nice lilting folk tune, and I was embelishing it with jazzy chord voicings and lots of open space in the music. About two minutes later some afro-carribean hobo with dyed blond hair was trying to slap bass and ruining the whole moment. This guy thought he was a musician of fierce calliber but he played out of tune and out of time. Infact he was fretting random notes and literally smacking the bass with a balled fist.

On another occasion another singer asked me if I could play 'Come as you Are' by Nirvana. Not really my music but I know it so I started playing the intro and she's freeform rapping/singing about all the dark energies in the room. I think I wierded her out too much as my guitar playing was apparently too dark and my drumming too angry.

The singers at this jam are typically the worst, especially the handwoven clothing and dreds crowd who bring along djembes they have no idea how to play and then explain they are not singing in tune because of the bad vibes in the room. Urgh.

[scottbass]

Originally Posted by bassbully

There are allot of crazy wannabe musicians living in cat pee basements or with their parents and plenty who cant play a note acting like they are going to be touring the world next week...you gotta love it!

Eww - Thanks for the reminder, bassbully. That description gave me an immediate olfactory flashback, and now I can't get that awful smell out of my mind! I'm sitting here and my eyes are actually watering!!!

[ThunderLizard]

Blender-
Lot's of good stories and advice.
I never audition without seeing the band live. If they're not playing somewhere, I'm just not that interested. If they've got work, then they'll have a bass player, even on a substitute basis.
It took several years of being exposed to wannabee's and hacks to make this my policy.