bass player offenses

[black.rose1402]

NAME OF OFFENDER - ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE - _____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINE

[ ]Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ]Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ]Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ]Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ]Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ]Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ]Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ]Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ]Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ]Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ]Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[ ]Playing eighth notes $5 each
[ ]Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ]Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ]Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ]Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ]Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ]Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[ ]Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ]Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS

[ ]Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ]Playing audibly $25
[ ]Faking changes $25
[ ]Slapping $150
[ ]Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ]Excessive sweating $25
[ ]Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ]Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ]Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ]Taking second chorus $100
[ ]Playing solo arco $400
[ ]Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ]Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ]Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS

[ ]Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ]Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ]Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ]Playing with a pick $50
[ ]Tuning during ballad $30
[ ]Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ]Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[ ]Attempting last word on final chord $50
[ ]Achieving last word on final chord $100
[ ]Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC

[ ]Forgetting strap $10
[ ]Changing strings after every set $15
[ ]Using electric tuner $15
[ ]Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ]Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ]Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ]Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ]Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ]Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ]Skull decals on bass $150
[ ]Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE

[ ]Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ]Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ]Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ]Quoting "Birdland" $25
[ ]Practicing scales during break $25
[ ]Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[ ]Practicing $150
[ ]Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ]Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY

[ ]Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ]Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ]Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ]Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[ ]Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ]Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ]Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

[fenderfunker]

The $975. cheque is in the mail.

[Rip Topaz]

Wow. 1630 and that was at church. That's what I get for showing up on time with a tuner, a custom fretless and a backup 5-string!!!

[Mr. Lovejoy]

$1120 dollars not including eight note and sixteenth note penalties and repeat offenses.

[ugly_bassplayer]

I think some of those are from a Brian Beller column in Bassplayer.

[iamcatwarrior]

I think I saw this posted on the Best of Craigslist link. This is funny.

[Rushpwnsx]

Originally Posted by black.rose1402

Bringing fretless bass $500

Bringing a lined fretless bass $0
Telling them it's a lined fretless $1,000

[nutso42]

I only owe 515 bucks, but I don't think having a fretless should be a $500 penalty.

Using the electric tuner, I can understand....

Originally Posted by Rushpwnsx

Bringing a lined fretless bass $0

In that case, I only owe the $15 for using the tuner.

[mward69]

Wait... we're musicians...we can't afford that

[Lunchbox4u_6]

Originally Posted by nutso42

Using the electric tuner, I can understand....

Because you wouldn't want to tune too acurately, too quickly, or too quietly.

[loend68]

Only $210 for me....damn Whitesnake shirt!!

[CDuff]

Originally Posted by Lunchbox4u_6

Because you wouldn't want to tune too acurately, too quickly, or too quietly.

"Experimenting with odd meters"

Is that impromptu meter-experimentation during a live gig? That I can understand. If it's just generally, then I don't understand.

[varunkapahi]

i have actually answered a call during a set, hmmmmmm no during a song actually!! i kept pumping an open string it was important ya know! the gig was'nt one bit

[Mr-Wunderful]

Damn I need to get a second job to pay my bass fines.

[Nashrakh]

840.

And that's including the $500 for the fretless...

[amosjones]

$1985, and I only own 1 bass.

[NoobOnRoad]

1335$ man that's harsh... and I didn't counted the 8th and 16th notes because there are too much!

[plankspanker13]

$575, including the second bass, and that figure is more than I have invested into "the beater."

[Fassa Albrecht]

$2605 and immediate dismissal.


I better find a job...

[guitfiddle0409]

[ ] Waste four measures negotiating with the drummer where beat 1 is. $500