Go Back   TalkBass Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]
Register Rules/FAQ/CUP Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG] Bass jokes, musician jokes, gigs gone wrong...


Supporting Membership
Thank You

Latest Supporting Member
Donate to Upgrade Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 12-09-2011, 11:40 PM
::::BASSIST::::'s Avatar
Looking for Opportunities to Create Harmony
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Vancouver, BC Canada
Supporting Member
Talking Bassist Available in Toronto... Consider yourself warned! :P

Sign in to disble this ad
Bass Player Available
__________________
Stambaugh Shortscale Jazz - GK MB800 - fEARful 15/6
  #2  
Old 12-09-2011, 11:46 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Missouri


Excellent creative writing. I laughed, I cried.
  #3  
Old 12-09-2011, 11:48 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland oregon
That cant be real. It has to be a joke.
__________________
Oregon Bassist's Club Member #9
Bass tattoo club #26
  #4  
Old 12-09-2011, 11:55 PM
::::BASSIST::::'s Avatar
Looking for Opportunities to Create Harmony
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Vancouver, BC Canada
Supporting Member
Definitely a joke. That's why I posted in "Bass Humour".
__________________
Stambaugh Shortscale Jazz - GK MB800 - fEARful 15/6
  #5  
Old 12-10-2011, 04:22 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Dude. I am scared. He'll steal all the spots for auditions.
__________________
Life is far too important a thing to ever discuss seriously. - Oscar Wilde
People see around themselves what they hold in their own hearts - Faust
  #6  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:24 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
We all know real players who are like that.
  #7  
Old 12-12-2011, 08:18 PM
lousybassplayer's Avatar
Eat at Joe's
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: J-Actionville, NC
Supporting Member
I admire his honesty

If more CL "musicicians" were that forward in their adds we would all avoid a great deal of wasted time. Quite a few of them think all the same stuff he said there.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jive1 View Post
.....It's sorta like a man complaining that a tampon doesn't fit him.
  #8  
Old 12-12-2011, 11:10 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Campbell River, BC, Canada
I like how he said he was the best bassist in Toronto despite the fact that Geddy Lee lives in Toronto
__________________
Fender Jazz Bass Club #661 Canadian Club #186
Official Fender Precision Club #929 Official Roundwound Club #3
  #9  
Old 12-13-2011, 08:47 AM
Vakmere's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Philly
Send a message via ICQ to Vakmere
Supporting Member
There may be just a hint of truth to all of that.
__________________
"Any day above ground is a good day"

Spector Club #139
Ken Smith Club #00000
Mickey Mouse Club
  #10  
Old 12-13-2011, 09:32 AM
AltGrendel's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA.
Supporting Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metalbasshippy View Post
I like how he said he was the best bassist in Toronto despite the fact that Geddy Lee lives in Toronto
__________________
Squier Jaguar Short Scale Club - #1
Olympic White Bass club member - #38.
Fender Jazz club member - #503.
Wood doesn't matter club - #2
Brony Bassists #11
  #11  
Old 12-13-2011, 10:44 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Text:

Hire Me!

I'm a great pro bass player looking for a new band, and have a lot of experience
playing in all kinds of bands. I don't like to brag, but to be honest I'm the best
bass player in Toronto.

I am picky about the kind of music I play. I don't like playing in original bands,
because most of the players in those bands aren't good enough to play covers, and
I don't like country because it's for morons. I'll play any style except reggae,
ska, country, originals, classical, hip hop, rap, alternative, jazz, punk, new age,
classic rock, or metal. I play current rock, and only current rock, even though most
of it sucks, so I'm extremely particular about the kind of music I play. Think Nirvana
meets Eric Clapton, with a touch of Motor Head thrown in (I know they're not NEW,
but that's the style of music I prefer). If that is the kind of music you play, hit
me up, otherwise don't waste my time.


I'm ready to play immediately. I just need a little help financially to get my bass
out of the pawn shop, and it would be great if you can loan me a little for strings,
just until we get paid from our first gig, and I'll pay you back. I'm going through
a messy divorce, but fortunately I get my kids part of the time, usually on the weekends.
That won't be a problem though, because I can get a babysitter if I have enough notice
if a gig comes up. I don't have a phone right now, but I'm planning to get a prepaid
one as soon as I get a job. I'm staying with a friend right now and writing this
on his computer, so you can contact me here. He says I can stay here one more month
before I have to find a new place. I'm hoping to move back in with my Mom, but for
some reason she's not returning my calls.


My car got repossessed recently, so it would be great if someone in the band can give me a ride and haul my big ass, just until we get things going
and we start making some serious money. My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that
used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit who's cousin is the wife of a lawyer that who was hired to put together a deal for a band that
almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angeles before the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.


Yes, I am in RECOVERY, and part of recovery is admitting you have a problem, but
I haven't had any significant relapses since my last stint in rehab, I only smoke
a little 420, and only on the breaks, and I'm always careful nobody sees me in the
parking lot. All other form of recreation wait until AFTER the gig!
Besides, unlike some other bass players in Toronto that have on-going "issues"
(you bass players know who you are) you know you can absolutely count on me staying sober and
NOT HAVING A SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOL PROBLEM
because my doctor says any of that stuff will interfere with the effectiveness of my medication.



I'm ready to play, so if you want the best bass player in Toronto, hit me up!
Thanks
Me
__________________
"People think I'm a hothead - but I'm doing what I'm doing and I do it good. So I can see it's not going to be easy being me." - Jaco Pastorius
  #12  
Old 12-13-2011, 10:46 AM
bassboysam's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Supporting Member
He's from Toronto so I'm not surprised

Although I would have guessed he was a drummer...
  #13  
Old 12-14-2011, 06:14 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
I saw this exact same CL listed on the Richmond Va CL sometime back. Suppose its good enough that it's being recycled and sent around the block.
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Follow TalkBass on Twitter   Visit TalkBass on Facebook  

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:37 PM.




Copyright 2011 Talk Music Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Play guitar? Visit our new sister site TalkGuitar.com [beta]
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.