Bassists Jokes

[metallicahead12]

Hey, I'm making a list of bassists jokes and would appreciate it if people could post jokes. Thanks.

[irishryno]

do you mean jokes about bassists, or jokes told by bassist. profound difference.

[oi_pride]

Q.What do you call a bass player that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A.Homeless.

Q. Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A. Even a virus has some pride.

Q. What did the bass player say on his first job?
A. Would you like fries with that coke?

Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a toilet?
A. A toilet only has to take crap from one a$$hole at a time.

[shadowtippy]

Don't know any bassist jokes, though I do know a few drummer jokes, like: What is yellow in front and brown in back?


A drummer's underwear.

[bassophil]

A bass player is passing by a bar...

[jgsbass]

You gotta search better: there's more than one full thread with all the same jokes

[Eric Grossman]

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but no-one notices.

[Sunflies Matty]

Originally Posted by Eric Grossman

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but no-one notices.

Or, indeed:

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand...

[TortillaChip520]

it's a good thing there aren't a billion thousand bassist joke threads.
or google.

[MRDOOM]

A scientist and his team go into the depths of the Amazon. There, they discover a tribe of natives that constantly bang on drums. when the scientist asks them why, all they ever respond with is that "When drums stop, bad thing happen". So the scientist and his team stay a while and the drums play on all night and all day. then one day, the drumming stops, and and chaos and panic ensues, with people running around screaming and crying. the Scientist, horrified, finds the Chief and asks whats going to happen. The chief looks at him, wide eyed and Fearful and says "BASS SOLO!"

[WookieeForLife]

http://www.eden-electronics.com/funs...sjokestext.htm

[WookieeForLife]

My fav.



Relative minor: A bassist's girlfriend

[Nasnederis]

A little boy comes home from his first bass lesson and his father asks, “So, how was your first lesson?” The little boy replies, “Oh, it was good. I learned that the top string is the E string and the next down is the A string.” His father is pleased.

The next day, when the boy comes home again, his father asks, “How was your lesson today?” The boy says, “Skipped it. I had a gig.”

[Nasnederis]

A little boy goes up to his father and says, “Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be a bass player.”

Father says, “Son, you can’t do both.”

[plankspanker13]

Originally Posted by Sunflies Matty

Or, indeed:

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand...

Or, three; one to stand in the middle of the room holding the bulb up above his head, and the other 2 to drink until the room starts to spin.

[shadowtippy]

Why do bassists buy their underwear in 4 packs?


Spring, summer, fall, and winter.

[Jim Nazium]

Pete Wentz.

[clmayhew]

Originally Posted by Jim Nazium

Pete Wentz.

+1

[Richard Lindsey]

Originally Posted by plankspanker13

Or, three; one to stand in the middle of the room holding the bulb up above his head, and the other 2 to drink until the room starts to spin.

Or just one--but he'll be an hour late.

Or one ... five ... one ... five ... one ... five ...

[Thankful birds]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jvl8rs95pU