Can you top this weird gig story?

[flyguy909]

Actually two... I still laugh when I tell these stories.

First one - back in the 70's was playing a bar that was rectangle shaped with the band on one of the long sides. Dance floor in front of stage and on opposite wall directly across from stage was the men's room door and a few tables along the wall next to it. At one of the tables there's a guy by himself who is so drunk that he is basically passed out at the table. So we finished a song, the dance floor clears, and while I'm watching the drunk guy he seems to come to and stumbles out of his chair doing all he can to stay on his feet. He kind of stumbles in a circle in front of the men's room door before coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor... then proceeds to unzip and yanks out his willie and let's go. I'll never forget first the hush that fell over the room, then the howling laughter. Just as the guy is trying to zip up the owner who was tending bar in the other room grabs the guy by the ear and drags him out, then comes back with a mop. Needless to say no once danced the next song, lol.

#2... about 10 years ago was playing a wedding at a yacht club at the shore and we had finished setting up. So the keyboard guy and I were just milling with the crowd outside the tent taking advantage of the scenery and the horsdoeuvres when there was this commotion from the other side of the crowd. We turn and look to see the crowd parting and this beautifully well endowed, totally naked women with nothing but a bridal headress on is running right at us. I actually had to step aside to let her run past me. Turns out she was the jilted ex girlfriend of the groom. I guess the bride had a sense of humor because the wedding went off just fine, but no telling what happened later!

Absolutely true stories. Anybody else?

[HeavyJazz77]

My first paid gig was when I was 19. I was working for a music store at the time and meeting a customer with some rental PA gear. The meeting place was the parking lot outside a pub. Since I was a bit early I brought along a mandolin - I had been goofing around with it for a few days and could muster some tunes just from exploring.

While strumming a lady came out of the bar and asked me to come in and play for some of the regulars. She held out a dollar so I took the dollar and said, "Sure." I stepped in to an early audience of 3 patrons and 1 tender. Made myself comfortable on the stage and just played away. About 15 minutes later the same lady approached me, held out a $10 bill and said, "That'll do - thanks."

Paid $1 to play and $10 to stop. Awesome!

[Richland123]

Originally Posted by flyguy909

Actually two... I still laugh when I tell these stories.

First one - back in the 70's was playing a bar that was rectangle shaped with the band on one of the long sides. Dance floor in front of stage and on opposite wall directly across from stage was the men's room door and a few tables along the wall next to it. At one of the tables there's a guy by himself who is so drunk that he is basically passed out at the table. So we finished a song, the dance floor clears, and while I'm watching the drunk guy he seems to come to and stumbles out of his chair doing all he can to stay on his feet. He kind of stumbles in a circle in front of the men's room door before coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor... then proceeds to unzip and yanks out his willie and let's go. I'll never forget first the hush that fell over the room, then the howling laughter. Just as the guy is trying to zip up the owner who was tending bar in the other room grabs the guy by the ear and drags him out, then comes back with a mop. Needless to say no once danced the next song, lol.

So, was your next song "Little Willie" by The Sweet?

[Vince Klortho]

Originally Posted by HeavyJazz77

Paid $1 to play and $10 to stop. Awesome!

I saw something similar happen. I was in a bar and the band that was "playing" was awful. No one applauded or reacted at all when they finished their songs. Finally, the end of the night approached and they announced, "this will be our last song," and the crowd erupted in applause. I was kind of embarrassed for them but I thought it was hilarious.

[qervo]

I was playing a bar gig that required us to set up our Big PA . We had to stacked walls of sound on each side of the stage . Everything is going great when all of a sudden I see my singer turn and look at me with a surprised look on his face. I wondered what the heck he was trying to relay to me when I noticed he was actually looking past me . I turned around and there is a guy bending a woman over doggy style and just going at it behind our PA speakers , he noticed us watching him and without missing a beat just threw his horns up in the air and gave us a shout like "f*** yeah"!!!

[qervo]

Here's a weird gig story. We got hired to play this club out in the middle of nowhere . We walk in and are greeted by a man wearing an Italian suit and he shows us where to set up. The gig was in the middle of the afternoon like 5 pm. We set up , sound check, and no one is there except ten men all dressed in suits sitting at a large table way in the back. The club was dead , except for the ten men, so we ask if they want to wait until people arrive or should we start now. The man just said "you boys go ahead , don't worry about it". So we did. For 4 hours they sat and talked at the table in the back of the club and nobody else ever showed. At the end they paid us and said "nice job". And we left . To this day I have no idea what our purpose was there except maybe throw interference incase they were being listened to. I swear it could have been the mafia.

[JoeWPgh]

I played a wedding back in the day where the bride demanded to sing with the band. A minute into the song, it was obvious that she wasn't just buzzed, but totally trashed. We quickly ended the song and called an impromptu break to spare her further humiliating herself. It didn't help. 5 minutes later she was in the corner, sucking face with the best man while the new hubby handled the relatives in the front room.

[Shakin-Slim]

Originally Posted by qervo

Here's a weird gig story. We got hired to play this club out in the middle of nowhere . We walk in and are greeted by a man wearing an Italian suit and he shows us where to set up. The gig was in the middle of the afternoon like 5 pm. We set up , sound check, and no one is there except ten men all dressed in suits sitting at a large table way in the back. The club was dead , except for the ten men, so we ask if they want to wait until people arrive or should we start now. The man just said "you boys go ahead , don't worry about it". So we did. For 4 hours they sat and talked at the table in the back of the club and nobody else ever showed. At the end they paid us and said "nice job". And we left . To this day I have no idea what our purpose was there except maybe throw interference incase they were being listened to. I swear it could have been the mafia.

That's a great story!

Originally Posted by flyguy909

We turn and look to see the crowd parting and this beautifully well endowed, totally naked women with nothing but a bridal headress on is running right at us. I actually had to step aside to let her run past me. Turns out she was the jilted ex girlfriend of the groom.

This, I don't get. Why was the ex-gf naked, running through the wedding?

[qervo]

Here's another one. When I was in my early twenties we got a chance to open up for Warrant at a huge club in Mississippi . This was in the mid 90s so Warrant had already seen their heyday and were kinda on the way down. Well we were a bunch of cocky kids who thought we were the **** (even though looking back we were not) and didn't want to seem for a second that we were star struck or even mildly impressed with Warrant . So we're sitting backstage in the green room when in walks Jani Lane and the bass player. They looked at us and said "you guys must be the opening band" . We didn't even say a word , just gave them a "who cares" look. That's when the bass player whipped out a bag of pot and said "who smokes"? Oh , we were big smiles then ,, star struck and instant friends. Lol that sure broke our cocky attitude streak.

Fast forward about 10 years later, I'm going to see a Jani lane show and I'm late , I'm circling the parking lots looking for any place to park moving real slow when all of a sudden Jani Lane is knocking on my window . I role it down and he says "hey man you know where I can get some cigarettes around here I gotta go play and I need cigarettes ". I said , "hop in I know a Circle K around the corner" . We drove and got the cigs and as a reward he let me in the club with him so I didn't have to pay. He really was a cool guy back then, later I heard that his addictions got to be too much. But each time we hung, as brief as it was , he was really nice and down to earth.

[Duuuuuuuuuude]

I once played a bluegrass festival at a nudist resort. That was a bit weird. The bands were all clothed but not the audience. We made a couple bad jokes, "This song's in B Natural. The nudist's key."

[mellowinman]

I had a lady shout out, "Play some DOKKEN!"

I win.

[dbase]

My band played at at this packed club on a Sat night and at about 3am when we were packing up the owner paid us in cash. I went out to the parking lot to look for our guitard player to give him is money and all I could see in the front seat of his car was the top of his butt bobbing up and down... I think one of the go-go girls from the club was underneath. I said here's your pay .. he didn't respond so I slipped the money thru the window. Sorry man.

[Kmonk]

About 30 years ago, I was playing at a club and had to use the restroom. This particular club had urinals and a regular toilet but the there wasn't a door for privacy for the toilet. I was using the toilet and and 2 guys came into the restroom. Both were very drunk and one of them started yelling "Hey its the bass player! He's right here taking a crap!" Then he tries to have a conversation with me. I asked him to let me finish and then I would be happy to talk to him and even buy him a beer if he just let me finish my business. He continued to try to talk to me and even wanted to shake my hand. So I wiped and with the toilet paper still in my hand, I reached out and shook his hand. He was so drunk that he actually fell on the floor laughing.

A few years ago, I was playing a gig and wife decided to come with me and see the band. After we finished our set and loading out I was hanging around waiting to get paid. I was talking to my wife and a woman came up to me and told me that she had a hotel room near by and asked what my plans were for the rest of the night. I said "going home with my wife". Then she asked what the guitar player was doing so I said "He's over there with his wife why don't you go ask him". She ended up leaving alone. My wife asked how often that type of thing happens and I said "not often enough or once too often depending on your point of view".

[mjac28]

Originally Posted by Shakin-Slim

That's a great story!



This, I don't get. Why was the ex-gf naked, running through the wedding?

+1 And why wasn't there a trail of guys running after her?

[SpecialBlender]

Played a wedding gig back in the 70's. Loading door for stage opened up into the rear parking lot. About 3 songs into our first set we hear a lot of screaming and yelling going on outside and the bride comes in screaming, crying, generally going crazy. Seems she found her new husband with the bridesmaid bent over the fender of his car.

Needless to say the party pretty much broke up right there.

[two fingers]

Originally Posted by Shakin-Slim

This, I don't get. Why was the ex-gf naked, running through the wedding?

Um, you really can't be that........ unaware. She was trying to piss off the ex-boyfriend and his new bride. She had been hurt buy the guy and wanted to "ruin" his wedding.

[two fingers]

Wow. Too many to remember. Here's a good one. I'm sure I will think of others.

Played my last show with a band at a private party on a river. We knew the people throwing the party pretty well. So at the end of the night, as a "parting gift", my band mates (all good friends) threw me in the river. Well, that started a chain reaction. By the time all was said and done, pretty much everyone at the party had jumped into the river at around 2 a.m. There were herds of hot women at this thing and they all came out of the river with body parts "revealed". (Keep in mind there were whole families at this thing..... moms and dads with their mostly eighteen to twenty something year old kids.) When the cops got there, they watched, they laughed, they left. I woke up inside the home owner's house the next morning wrapped around his daughter (who was smoking hot). Who woke me up? Dad. But get this. He was absolutely fine with my being in bed with his daughter naked. The only reason he woke us up was that he was going on a biscuit run and wanted to know if we wanted anything. The whole time he was talking to us, her right breast was literally on my cheek. We ate biscuits. Her mom and dad hugged me when I left and told me they would miss me in the band.

Good times.

[Austrobass]

Some shorties i witnessed in 25+ years of giging:

* Subbed 2 shows for a Blues Band. Their lyrics consisted entirely of car-repair instructions
for various types of cars. The audience loved them.

* Played a Gig in a prison for mentally abnormal criminals. Our singer got so carried
away that he started to rip his shirt off. Well we did'nt start a riot, but the audience got
quite heated up. The wardens got VERY nervous.

* Watched the drummer and bassist from a befriended Band hurtle down a steep road on a Marshall 4x12
Cab after a gig. They were stopped by a parked police car with officers in it.

* Singer decided pre-Gig to tell his girlfreind that one of his hobbies were women with
negotiable affection (to "get this off his chest"). The ensuing drama did cost us a well paid
periodical Gig.

* Lead guitarist got seriously knocked out by his very own guitarcase. The lower part of the handle got
loose while walking with his case, he felt it and panically lifted the case violently. As the
handle was still attached to the case on one joint the lower part of the case swung forward and the
upper part right in his kisser.


regards

Martin

[flyguy909]

Originally Posted by Shakin-Slim

That's a great story!



This, I don't get. Why was the ex-gf naked, running through the wedding?

Can only guess...
trying to embarrass her ex.
showing off her *ample endowments* with a "he could have had me".
she was an exhibitionist.
she was cuckin' frazy.

The funniest part about it was our lead singer who was younger than the rest of us and a complete hounddog had just left briefly to get something and when he came back and heard what happened he was so pissed.

[Rip Topaz]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

I had a lady shout out, "Play some DOKKEN!"

I win.

/thread.