about a year and a half ago, this guy named conrad standish posted to the bottom line (TBL) about going into a music store and playing a rickenbacker bass they had without a pick - the store employees gave hims some measure of hard time about it, for some reason, so he asked the list if anybody else didn't pick their rics, so to speak. i wrote this to make him feel better (think dr. seuss)
The Ric with no Pick
On a bright sunny day, a few months before May
To the guitarshop, good Conrad, there's a bass you must play
Among the cymbals that ring, and the keyboards that sing
Behind the various nefarious skinny stringed things
A burgandy glow leads those in the know
To a princess of basses, a queen of notes low
With her curves and her chrome, she begs for a new home
With promises of music on nights all alone
"Good sir" Conrad asks, all politeness and care
"May I play that red bass, the Sweet Ric over there?"
The sales dude nods as he answers the call
And gets the red bass gently off of the wall
With an amp and a chord and the bass in demand
He then offers a plectrum in his outstretched hand
With a smile and shrug and a sly wink of his eye
Conrad declines the kind offer and lets his fingers fly
The sales dude's mouth moves but he can't say a thing
As Conrad makes music with just fingers and strings
He finally can speak and he turns to the door
He shouts and he pouts - he can't take anymore
"Hey Jerry Hey Nick I'm gonna be sick
He's playing that Ric, and he don't got a pick"
Other sales dudes gather at the un-heard-of noise
Of the Ric being played with no finger toys
"It's plinking and plucking, it's growling and clucking
It sounds like a duck in a truck who is ...trucking"
As they listened in fear, they started to hear
the sweet real sound of the bass ringing clear
Their smiles grew wide, they drooled starry eyed
As the growl of the Ric could not be denied
Then entered a cat, with a tall stripey hat
Who said, loud and rude, "We'll have none of that"
"This rhyming must stop, someone must call the cops
I will end this my self with a few careful 'chops'"
So from then on all the sales dudes told
of the bass on the wall that will never be sold
Because this guy came in once and played with no pick
on this princess of basses, the sweet burgandy Ric
