Condescending Leader

[ericw]

So they've been begging for instrumentalists at church. I don't particularly enjoy playing that kind of music, but I figured I should "serve".

So I went to a practice and the leader was constantly making comments that I didn't need to know the tonality of the chord, just play the root, etc. (I already knew the tonality of the chord based on the key of the song, why is he telling me this? I feel like he is being condescending to me...). Then I find out he recently told my gf "if you know how to play guitar, you already know how to play bass".

This kind of thing makes me very upset. I feel like his comment is basically saying "Bass is a dumbed down guitar". Do I have a poor attitude? How do you feel about/deal with people with these perceptions?

[JimmyM]

tell him to quit talking to you like an idiot. if he refuses, tell him he can find a new bass player. life's too short.

[basstotheface]

Not enough bass players for people to be that ignorant. Tell him you deserve to be treated with just as much respect as any other band member, if he says anything disrespectful just move on.

[CDRhom]

There are many ways to serve. I agree with JimmyM.

[OmnitzGarima]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

tell him to quit talking to you like an idiot. if he refuses, tell him he can find a new bass player. life's too short.

+1 on that.

I've played guitar for 40 years. I started playing bass seriously about 18 months ago. Bass is not a dumbed-down guitar. It serves a different function in a band than the guitar does, but that function is arguably (I guess on talkbass I could leave that qualifier out) more important than the guitarist's function. In my view they're two entirely different instruments.

[poorbassist15]

The bass SETS the chord. I agree with Jimmy, get him to realize that you are important, or leave.

[KeithAlanK]

Lots of people believe this same line of crap.
It's sad, and shows just how much they don't know about music.

As a guitarist (and only part-time bassist) since 1975 I can affirm that bass is a totally different instrument.
That's why I switched for good last year--to learn and to challenge myself again.

My advice is to learn the songs inside-out and rock the heck out of them while staying true to his vision of root notes, so that when you happen to bust out with a 7th or ninth that totally improves the performance he'll have to eat his words.

And then tell him to stay away from your girlfriend!
Anyone that talks smack about bass to the bassist's GF is a perv on the prowl.
We already know he's an idiot--but horny idiots are dangerous.

[tycobb73]

I guess I should be considered lucky that my musid director told me she doesn't want just the root note. Too bad I never have enough time to practice to give her anything but the root note.

[fivestringgecko]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

tell him to quit talking to you like an idiot. if he refuses, tell him he can find a new bass player. life's too short.

+1.

The previous director for my church choir was quite the same way, condescending and snarky (at a church! ). At one practice in particular, I had made a relatively small mistake on a piece we were sight reading, and he aimed a particularly snotty remark at me. I was so mad I was shaking and I hardly ever get flustered like that. I held my tongue, but told myself that he'd had his ONE freebie and if it happened again, I was gone. Luckily, he left before I did. Between "personality differences" with other staff and several complaints from the congregation about him sounding like a Vegas lounge act (he was a pianist/vocalist and did frequent solo pieces), he was gone not quite a month later.

Eric, I imagine you're like me... volunteering your talent to better the service for the congregation, which is a meaningful part of MY worship experience. Having a director who doesn't appreciate your talent is hard to deal with. Luckily, our current director is great... she appreciates what we all do/add and she's quite open to suggestions and ideas.

IMO, a someone who tells you that you don't need to know tonality shouldn't be directing. Unfortunately, someone who says something like that probably won't ever truly understand or change.

Good luck to you, hopefully you can figure things out!

5sg.

[kcole4001]

They're having to beg for players you say, it's not hard to see why.
The guy's acting like a douche.

Add to that the fact you don't enjoy playing that music, and that makes for an easy decision.
Sure, it's a broadening experience musically, but you're wasting your time in a situation like that.

I'd just tell him to get someone else, and that it shouldn't be too hard if he thinks it's so easy.
You're better off doing another project, and if they finally get the hint and get rid of the douche director, maybe go back and try it again.

[bassteban]

Tell him you read somewhere that it's good to *esteem others higher than yourself*

[Dan Knowlton]

Just because he is the leader does not give him the right to abuse the musicians. I would walk - after letting the guy and the head pastor know why. I used to do a lot of subbing at other churches (before I was the only bassist available at my church almost all the time) and only ran into that attitude twice. Most of the time the musicians are much better than those in any of the bands I have been in elsewhere.

Dan K.

Originally Posted by ericw

So they've been begging for instrumentalists at church. I don't particularly enjoy playing that kind of music, but I figured I should "serve".

So I went to a practice and the leader was constantly making comments that I didn't need to know the tonality of the chord, just play the root, etc. (I already knew the tonality of the chord based on the key of the song, why is he telling me this? I feel like he is being condescending to me...). Then I find out he recently told my gf "if you know how to play guitar, you already know how to play bass".

This kind of thing makes me very upset. I feel like his comment is basically saying "Bass is a dumbed down guitar". Do I have a poor attitude? How do you feel about/deal with people with these perceptions?

[plangentmusic]

Even if he believes it, it's rude, which shows he's an idiot.

In some ways, sure, if you know how to play guitar you can play some bass. That's like saying if if you know how to perform brain surgery you can probably perform heart surgery. Well, yeah, but if I need heart surgery I'd rather have the heart surgeon.

[RustyAxe]

It's no wonder (to me) why he's always begging for players!

[capnsandwich]

Maybe there's a reason that church is looking for instrumentalists. They probably can't keep them with all that pride and arrogance leading the worship team. If it's so easy to play bass, let him play it if, that is, it's not too lowly of an instrument for him.

[Beginner Bass]

Tell him that if that's what he wants of a bassist, he can find someone else to do it.

[Jimmy Bones]

Pray on it.

[Jazzdogg]

His attitude says far more about him than it does about you.

I am, sadly, not at all surprised by the number of people who are involved in church activities whose comportment isn't consistent with the teachings of the church. Apparently, this so-called leader isn't familiar with the concept of Servant Leadership. Too bad.

Whatever you do, continue to have an attitude worth copying; don't stoop to his level.

[sedan_dad]

Originally Posted by ericw

So they've been begging for instrumentalists at church. I don't particularly enjoy playing that kind of music, but I figured I should "serve".

So I went to a practice and the leader was constantly making comments that I didn't need to know the tonality of the chord, just play the root, etc. (I already knew the tonality of the chord based on the key of the song, why is he telling me this? I feel like he is being condescending to me...). Then I find out he recently told my gf "if you know how to play guitar, you already know how to play bass".

This kind of thing makes me very upset. I feel like his comment is basically saying "Bass is a dumbed down guitar". Do I have a poor attitude? How do you feel about/deal with people with these perceptions?

You must have a issue with low self worth if after that comment your still there.

[dieselbass]

sad to see this. I must be blessed as I have had 5 leaders in 2 churches and all were good to great leaders and musicians. Current guy is really pushing me to expand what I do and play what I'm hearing instead of playing it safe. Lots of fun.