Craigslist and being "old dude"

[nukes_da_bass]

I'm really getting sick of this.

A year ago I was in two bands;
1) a $$ working rock cover band and
2) a gigging but more or less volunteer band playing classic R&B with a horn section.

Twins were born, i have obligations...ok.

Now I have a few hours a week where I could jam with a few folk. So i comb Craigslist to look for situations where people are not looking for band commitment.

What I get is mostly torture!

Here was my latest experience. Ad said "Funky drummer looking for people to jam with!" Not much else, simple, straight ahead.
I responded "funky bass here- lets do it!"

Now it gets weird. Drummer starts with the 9th degree on me;
"who are you? what styles do you play? why do you want to jam? Know any keyboardists or guitarists? What have you done musically lately?" Me- "um, babies..."

Now the guy blows me off-yes its the dreaded Craigslist Age-ism striking again. I responded with the "old guy with a resume" response;

"Dude what does it take to jam? I have 30 years of playing experience and a two and a half decade part time professional resume. I play 4, 5, 6 string basses, fretless and fretted. I slap, I pop. Pizzicato. I can play mostly any non jazz non classical western roots music you throw at me by ear and learn it in short order. Acoustic Upright as a hobby. I have opened for such artists as Leslie West and Felix Cavilere, and played Gospel for a stint in an inner city all black Pentecostal church. Usually I dont ring my own bell like this but you seem to have blown me off simply cause I'm an old dude and maybe that freaks you out...I study my craft for 30 years for this? Whatever, Good luck!"
Nukes"

So yes I did go over the top but this is status quo for the Craigslist which is to say poor etiquette regarding simple communications like "no thanks you dont seem to be our cup of tea" etc...
I would think its just me but I see plenty of posts on TB from people with similar experiences.
I truly can't wait til my kids are big enough for me to join a band or two again, this is like "dating hell for bassists"!

[stepswork4me]

I guess this is why I never make contact on CL. I don't have the time to be a commited band member and have no desire to be in the bars anymore. I guess I'm just stuck playing with myself.

[jetbike]

I'm interested to hear this story. I'm planning to get back into bands after a long absence (again caused by the welcome arrival of children). So whilst saving for new gear and practicing I'm scouring the musicians papers here in Aus to find the Holy Grail. An amazing band with people who have no desire to 'make it'. I want similar age musos, who want to make interesting and creative music, without the 'death or glory' attitude. I don't want to be in an average pub-rock band (the refuge of the late 30's muso) and have no desire to quit my job (again) and live in a van with a gang of poorly kempt blokes, chasing a record deal.

A difficult balance, and I'm worried that it may not be achievable.

[bassybill]

Originally Posted by stepswork4me

I guess I'm just stuck playing with myself.

I saw this and your user title and chuckled a little.

Maybe "by myself" might be less open to misinterpretation.

[faulknersj]

You can't give up that easily man. Keep looking. Me..mid 30's. I gig on average 5 nights per week. I want to keep it that way which is why I am studying jazz. Yes, jazz, because if you can play jazz WELL you will always have work regardless of age. Put your own thing together; otherwise you are at the mercy of others...and unfortunately...that is not working out very well. If you are really serious about creating an ideal situation for yourself, you will.

[stepswork4me]

Originally Posted by bassybill

I saw this and your user title and chuckled a little.

Maybe "by myself" might be less open to misinterpretation.

Did I make a funny?

[S.B.]

Dont give up just gotta keep looking. I ran into some old guys like me (56y) 10 years ago in local music store. Bought an amp and started to jam in garage. Felt I was back in High School, except no parents Jammed every Sunday and decided to play a gig. Now been playing once a month, no pressure gigs for the past 10 years.
Personally, I have NEVER had anything work from Craigs List.
Good Luck

[Plays_For_Dog]

I feel your pain nukes. I moved a year ago last week to Amarillo. It's taken me until today to find a decent, like minded musician on CL. In the last year I have combed the site and communicated with dozens of flakes and day dreamers. I did meet a guitarist at work whom I've also clicked with, so I might actually get to jam in a band again soon. Drummer off CL and the guitarist I work with. We all are on the same musical page, talent level and realistic understanding of what we can actually accomplish.

My point is, just keep looking. Eventually you will stumble upon someone that you will click with. Also, keep an eye out in areas you wouldn't normally think to look.

Kinda on/off topic: Another guy I work with (old dude, retired Navy on his second job) was inspecting my work for sell. I would have never pegged the guy as a musician. This particular day he dropped the musical coined term "chops" in a coversation. I stopped immediately and asked if he was a musician. Come to find out the guy has been playing drums for over 40 years! True to my seach to jam with and learn with more experienced musicians, I asked if we could jam sometime. He politely declined and stated he just plays on his electric set with head phones now for his personal enjoyment. I was sad, but again I learned musicians are everywhere yet, hard to find and connect with.

[nukes_da_bass]

Hehe I just responded to another drummer- I was up front about my age this time I want to avoid more confusion.

Funny thing is, I found both of my last bands on CL- I would have thought it would be easier to find jam situations than it is to find working bands! Its simply ironic.

Someday the twins will be in school and I can join a band again, until that day...

[Evil Undead]

I find that you're likely to go through a lot of ads and responses and jams before you find the right bunch of guys to jam with. Don't give up dude

[Lizooki]

Yeah, it seems that there are only 2 kinds of bands looking for bass players around here.
1- The new modern service churches looking for Praise Band members. I play at my church.
2- mid teen screamos. yech! besides , they all want more young'uns to play with them.

But I'm in the the same boat as one other poster. Bars, not an option, I want to either do christian, beach, oldies, maybe even 80s. Nothing heavy. Although surf might be a blast.

Nobody loves me.


Matt

[Acid Swine]

About a year ago I hooked up with a guitar player on CL, he's in his mid 40s, and I just recently turned 20. He's got 2 kids and can really only jam on the weekends. However he's so much more knowledgeable than me, and every time I play with him, he teaches me something new.

IMO if you're a younger guy, its the older dudes everyone's rejecting you want, they have more chops, and less attitude. Win - win.

[dukeorock]

Originally Posted by Acid Swine

About a year ago I hooked up with a guitar player on CL, he's in his mid 40s, and I just recently turned 20. He's got 2 kids and can really only jam on the weekends. However he's so much more knowledgeable than me, and every time I play with him, he teaches me something new.

IMO if you're a younger guy, its the older dudes everyone's rejecting you want, they have more chops, and less attitude. Win - win.

Smart, kid here

I'm now in my 40's...when I was a kid I did the same thing, bro...always played with people older than me...I figured, why not learn from their experiences, chops, etc.?

[turbo chicken]

i've been looking as well ... im about to put my own add on and see what i get back...

30yo bass player looking for someone to jam with. Tired of playing alone. I have a bass and a B20 acoustic practice amp. I want to play at a reasonable volume level that won't have my ears ringing after we are done . I have 2 kids they go to bed at 8:00 I can jam afterwards. We can jam in my literal woodshed of a building in the back till 11:00 it has heat and A/C and is actually finished like a stand alone office. I don't smoke pot, might have a beer or two. Looking to even possibly learn something new from someone more expierenced. If all else fails... i will help you learn a I IV V set of chords and we'll just play some blues. If your a drummer wanting a low key bass player to jam with lemme know. I am not a pro and still very much learning ... but i can hold down a groove and fake just about any song if given a chord sheet. Lets jam!


what do you guys think anything else i need to disclose?

[faulknersj]

I think that sounds fine turbo chicken!

[Dan Knowlton]

Originally Posted by stepswork4me

I guess I'm just stuck playing with myself.

Yeah, but you can only do that for so long...

Dan K.

[Sizlack]

My current band found me on craigslist. I had posted an add looking for people to jam with, found a drummer who had only been playing for a few months. Started jamming with him and posted another ad a month or so later "drummer and bass player looking for guitarist to jam with us" or something like that. Got a call from a guitarist, who asked me to come try out for his band.
Showed up for the try out, was the youngest guy there by about 15 years, and even though I had only been playing just over a year they seemed to like me. Been with them for about 6 months now, playing about 2 to 3 gigs a month.
Guess i got lucky this time, my previous posts trying to find a band to do vocals for didn't go so well, got rejected quite a few times for being too old...I just turned 30 last november.

[steveksux]

Originally Posted by nukes_da_bass

I slap, I pop. Pizzicato.

I think you scared him off with that last one. Probably has no idea what it really is and thinks its some strange kinky sexual thing R Kelley might be interested in.

Seriously though, there are kids that like rocking with grandpa, and some that don't see past it. I've been looking for another band and I'm sure I lost some auditions because of age. The guys that care more about musicianship than image will give you a chance. You just have to realize that you're going to have fewer chances than the younger guys. Doesn't make it impossible. Just likely to take longer to find the right fit.

Randy

[Rockmusician]

The situation is not unique to Craigslist. It happens on every site. I saw an ad a while ago that was vague but I responded anyway and asked what kind of music they were playing, how often and where they rehearsed and gigged, the age of the band members, etc. I received a response that said, "No, you tell me about yourself first because I'm trying to weed out weirdo's and guys who can't play". The quality of bands looking for musicians is very frustrating.

[A-Step-Towards]

Thanks for my new sig