CRAP GIGS?

[Bassline1414]

Holy Hell this is an old thread! Well, had a gig with MY band last night at a Barnes & Noble in Missouri...we were only supposed to play a 10 minute spot, but because the guy behind us didn't show, they let us play for about 45 minutes. Very smooth.

[jean]

Well, the only gigs I've really played were with my high school jazz band, and for this wacked-out church youth thingy.

First off, the church youth thingy- We began rehearsals actually the day before the thing, because the band was made up of local musicians who'd never played together before. Luckily, the drummer was a pro. At any rate, I show up for the church thingy in my black t-shirt with the red Anarchy logo on it, black lipstick, and my spiked wristbands. I haven't even set up yet and I'm nearly laughing my rear off.

Then I pull out my "beware of dog" bass, which makes a scene in and of itself; everybody has to step up and read it, and then I have to explain what all the stickers mean. I had no sheet music or chord charts for the crap praise-and-worship songs we were supposed to do, so I stood up really close to this chick keyboardist and made up lines off the chord symbols in her piano music. Worked out great, but I'm sure she was a little freaked out by the time the whole thing was over with. Plus, one of my goofy-ass stoner buddies was playing harmonica during the whole thing, off in his own little "harmonica world," and playing stuff that didn't go along with the rest of the crap. He had a mic, too, so that was really interesting...

Jazz Band- My best Jazz Band gig was at this four-school festival thing. I nailed all my lines and someone told me later that I was the best bassist there. (Which didn't take much...one band had a keyboardist for a bassist [pet peeve...], and another played "summertime blues" all in a herky-jerky power chord format...wa-hoo.)

Oh, and then there was this other time at a church youth thingy where I sat in for the bassist while everybody was down in the basement having cookies and juice...we played a perfect version of "brain stew" (tough tough tough) and I got to noodle around awhile and look impressive.

And I never got paid for a single bit of the above. I played because I love playing, and because somebody was letting me. I can't wait to get into another band and do this stuff all the time.

[EskimoBob]

i went into this thread thinking i'm the world's unluckiest bass players, and having read everyone's stories, i feel a bit overwhelmed (or is it underwhelmed?) having to write my pathetic crap-gig stories, but here goes...

we used to play at this place which let about 10 local bands play every monday night... since we don't play nu-metal, we were always shoved on last, and since they were our first ever gigs, we always kinda sucked (in these days, we didn't even have a drummer, so nirvana and nofx covers didn't work very well)... then one night, even though we were promised a gig, the band playing before us played breed, by nirvana, then wrecked the joint, drums went flying, amps with fat holes and sparks flying from them, everything went mad. so, to make up for our inconvenience, the sound guy guaranteed us an earlier gig the next week... it was like revenge on all the assholes who walked out on us every week, 'cos they had to sit through the mental tortue of listening to us, while waiting for the other bands to come on. muhaha

simon a

[szvonek]

We played at a dive bar on a weekday, so we weren't expecting a huge turnout to begin with. And there were about maybe 6 regulars drooling in their beers the whole night who didn't even realize we were playing. The only people in the 'crowd' that even acknowledged us were these two homeless guys sitting at a table up front probably pretending to be interested so they could stay inside, but the owner went and kicked them out anyway.

[lost_in_space]

my turn -

me & my cheesy r'n'b cover band played last june for the Fete de la Musique, an event which takes place every year in France.

the venue was the main hall of the Court of Justice of paris - the band is sponsored by the bar association. imagine something the size of the grand central station with just the same acoustics. i don't know who on earth thought this was a good place to set up a bandstand.

i remember hitting my first note during soundcheck (ho ho ho soundcheck he said) and the sound was revolving around my head like nothing i've ever heard in my entire life. wow i thought the sound guys were playing tricks on me with their flashy hi end lexicon stuff, but no, they really couldn't do anything about it.

during the entire set i couldn't hear a single note the horns played, no singer, nothing, i was standing against my amp close to the drummer and thinking 'another 10 minutes and were through'.

the positive side of is that at least the audience didn't notice HOW CRAP WE WERE AH AH AH AH.

(i know for sure cause the band that played after us sounded horrible despite their being a decent jazz ensemble with good vocalists).