The Day the Bass Players Took Over the World

[unbasslichkeit]

One of Trout Fishing in America's finest. This came over the satellite radio in the car today and I thought it was worth posting. If its already been posted I think it's worth repeating.


The day was very subtle, everything was low-key,
The sky it was so overcast that you could barely see,
And everything slowed down to a slower frequency,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Well, they came pouring out of symphonies, orchestras and bands,
And every other kind of combo that was ever known to man,
And although it was spontaneous, you'd think it was quite planned,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Now one day the bass players, they decided to uprise,
They were tired of being sidemen to all those other guys.
So they kidnapped the horn section,
They put drugs in the drummer's drink,
And they tied up all the guitar players
With their big ol' flat-wound strings.
And on that day the world it was finally set free,
All the creatures they hung out together and interacted fretlessly,
And the air began to vibrate with such a deep tonality,
The day the bass players took over the world.

[coolrunner989]

haha, brilliant!

especially at 2:30 in the morning when i can hardly stay up...

I bet I'll dream about marching bassists taking over the world

[anderbass]

Great lyrics.

I remember seeing a wonderful band called "Trout Fishing in America" play a show here in Phoenix back in the late 70's or early 80's. They did a version of "Linus and Lucy" that was so dam good It gave me goose bumps.

[Mike Shevlin]

hmmmm. Once we took over the world.......what would we do then??????

[Just J]

Originally Posted by Mike Shevlin

hmmmm. Once we took over the world.......what would we do then??????

grooooove

[morf]

Originally Posted by Mike Shevlin

hmmmm. Once we took over the world.......what would we do then??????

Pick out sexiest chicks in rows of sexy chicks. Yes.

[Want a 9]

I believe Nashville session bassist Dave Pomeroy wrote that song for his All Bass Orchestra to perform. He does the "Retro-Rama" colume in Bass Player magazine.

[varunkapahi]

sounds cool! any way to hear it?

[Verticos]

Originally Posted by varunkapahi

sounds cool! any way to hear it?

i just bought it on itunes.

[Matt Till]

I think the drummer put the drugs in his own drink, he's just blaming the bassists.

[plastik-bass[?]]

Originally Posted by Verticos

i just bought it on itunes.

but itunes is expensive D: lol

[lovernotfighter]

Originally Posted by morf

Pick out sexiest chicks in rows of sexy chicks. Yes.

what will the chick bassist do?

[J.Stone]

I think it was the first thing played on Bass Day 96. I think it's up on stage6.com, but seriously. Just buy the DVD/VHS!

[Valerus]

Originally Posted by morf

Pick out sexiest chicks in rows of sexy chicks. Yes.

yes sir!

[morf]

Originally Posted by lovernotfighter

what will the chick bassist do?

They'll get picked out

[Dave Martin]

Originally Posted by J.Stone

I think it was the first thing played on Bass Day 96. I think it's up on stage6.com, but seriously. Just buy the DVD/VHS!

Yep - I was part of the All Bass Orchestra that year. It was big fun!

Buy the DVD - the stage6 vido is way out of sync....

[Steve]

Originally Posted by varunkapahi

sounds cool! any way to hear it?

It's posted on Dave Pomeroys myspace page

[Bard2dbone]

Originally Posted by Want a 9

I believe Nashville session bassist Dave Pomeroy wrote that song for his All Bass Orchestra to perform. He does the "Retro-Rama" colume in Bass Player magazine.

Sorry. I believe Emily Kaitz wrote it. I'm glad to see a Trout Fishing In America reference on TB. They are responsible for me being married.

I'm going to sleep now. But tomorrow I'll post the whole story. Most of it has been posted before, but you'll still go 'Awwwwww' at the end.

If you get a chance, look at some of Emily's other songs. She's an amazing writer.

[Pstewart]

I just felt so patriotic for our bass nation i stood up and saluted my bass.

[Bard2dbone]

Okay. Long story time. So get the popcorn ready and go take a bathroom break now. The rest of us will wait for you right here.



Back so soon? Okay then.

My best friend and I are both huge fans of TFIA, in both senses of the word. We really like their music and we're big guys. He's bigger than me. He kind of looks like me standing on top of a chair. He'a about 6'7" or 6'8" and at the time this all happened he weighed around 385 lbs. When a group of us would go to, say to a concert and as soon as we get there half the crowd wants a beer and the other half wants to go pee, we'd use him as a portable landmark. "Okay twenty minutes, meet back at Bill."

That will be important to remember later.

The first day that my wife and I were each on the ranch where they do the Kerrville Folk Festival was the same day.

She was being very stressed at work, because someone in a position of power had decided she didn't like her and was going to get her fired. So she calls up her coolest and most interesting cousin, Jazz muiscian and music vendor (Ridgerunner Records) Slim Richey, and tells him she is being very stressed at work because someone is trying to get her fired. He recommends she come down to this folk music festival where he will be working the next few weeks, and that he will get her in and find someone for her to camp with so she can depressurize.

The weekend that she went was the weekend Trout was playing, for anyone not keeping up.

Bill and I had decided to go camp out for the weekend and do the whole festival experience. But just before Bill arrived, another friend, Dan, called to ask what we were doing. Dan lived far enough away that it was a long-distance call (This was before cell phones.) so he would drive until he was close enough to use a payphone, then call and say "What are we doing?" If you came up with a good enough answer, he'd show up. If you didn't, he'd call someone else.

I said "Bill and I are going to the Kerrville Folk Festival to see Trout Fishing In America." he said "Sweet. I'm there." He drove up. Bill drove up. We all jumped in Bill's truck and took off. After several hours of driving, Dan asked "How much longer will this take?" Bill answered "Probably not long. I bet we'll be there in under two more hours." Dan looked uncomfortable and said "Guys. I have to work in the morning."

He hadn't known that Kerrville was five hours drive away.

So, In stead of staying for the whole weekend, as planned, we drove for five hours, stayed for three hours, and drove back for five hours.

During those three hours that we were there, we attended TFIA's show. They were awesome. Melanie was at that same show. Her 'native guides', Karen and Karen, were coaching her on all the crowd particioation things "When they sing this song, every time they say this line, throw your hand up. Oh. oh. oh. When they sing THIS song, every time the bass player sings a terrible breakfast pun, throw things at him....etc" So she was looking around at the crowd during one of the less involved crowd participation numbers and noticed Bill. And she thought to herself "Whoa! That guy's HUGE! ...... And the one next to him looks like a lot of fun." And based on that moment, remembered us.

Time passed. At the next Trout Fishing show in Dallas (Poor Davids) she looks around at the crowd. She thinks *Hey. There's that huge guy. And there's the fun one.*

At the Trout show in Fort Worth (Caravan of Dreams,RIP, I miss that place.) *There's that huge guy again. And ummmmmm there he is. There's the fun one. Maybe they're local*


At the next Arlington show (River Legacy Park, some outdoor springtime art fair) *Oh good. He at least comes to Arlington shows.*

So at the next Arlington show (Fatso's Burgers and Blkues. also RIP. I miss that place, too.) She and her date had driven separately. He tried to get her to leave after the regular sets were over and she fired him. "If we go now, the traffic won't be as bad getting out of the parking lot." "You can go. Bye." Then she waited for me. We talked. We hit it off. I asked for a phone number. Only then did it occur to her, She didn't know anything about me. I'm literally some guy she met in a bar. So in stead she gives me her business card.

I tried to call a few times, but someone in her office was kind of passive aggressive and figured if it sounds like a personal call, you don't need to know about it.

So I figured it wasn't meant to be.

She wasn't taking it quite so casually. She called up the Troutline, TFIA's booking number, and talked to the guitar player's wife. She told her 'There's this guy I'm trying to get in touch with, and he's on your mailing list.' Mrs Idlet said "I can't give you his information. That would be REALLY unethical. But I'll send him a note for you."

So she wrote a note that said, in essence: Dear Wayne - Melanie M wants you to take her to the KERA benefit that Trout is playing on this date. Here's her nome number." I've talked to her. She remembers writing the note. But I didn't get it. So I took someone else to that show.

But the NEXT Trout show after that was the Euless Fall Music Special, an outdoor general admission kind of thing where you throw down a blanket and that is now your seat. When I got there, there were only a couple of hundred randomly spaced blankets with mostly no people on them. So I dropped a blanket in an empty spot near some friends and started talking to them.

The music started and everyone came back to their blankets. And suddenly sitting four inches to my left was that woman from Fatso's. We talked. This time I got her home number.

We start going out. Time passes. We get married. We picked a Trout song for our wedding music. I actually called the Troutline to see how I could get the sheet music to that song for our wedding. Ezra the guitar player called me back and said it wasn't pronted anywhere, but here are the chords. He taught me No Matter What Goes Right over the phone.

For our honeymoon, we went back to the Kerrrville Folk Festival. I'm pretty sure my daughter was conceived there.

So I credit Trout Fishing In America and the Kerrville Folk Festival with the course of the last fifteen or so years of my life.