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03-02-2011, 10:03 AM
|  | lover of all things groovin, player of many basses | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Metro-Boston North Showahhh | | | Dear Abby...
Sign in to disble this ad
Dear Abby, I am a drug dealer from Beaumont, Texas. My parents lived in Fort Worth but have recently been arrested for cooking meth. They were also financially dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers: one is serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a jazz musician?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation |
03-02-2011, 10:21 AM
| | Registered User
General Manager, Roscoe Guitars | | Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC, USA | | 
I am SO stealing this.
__________________
Roscoe Guitars Factory Tour/GTG/Jimmy Haslip clinic June 16th!!! See Roscoe Forum for details!!!
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03-02-2011, 10:28 AM
|  | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: SATX by way of NOLA | | | Stolen! |
03-02-2011, 10:29 AM
| | lover of all things groovin, player of many basses | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Metro-Boston North Showahhh | | Please do, a friend/drummer just sent it to me and it made me LOL  |
03-02-2011, 03:47 PM
| | Registered User
A&R, Soulless Corporation Records | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Round Rock, TX | | | Someone has to send that in! |
03-02-2011, 04:10 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: West Covina (LA), SoCal | | | Send that in to where?
Ive read this thing a few times, and in all reality, the punchline could be much stronger.
__________________
Bassist for Starveya - www.reverbnation.com/starveya
Sat June 9th @ Shamrocks in Chino Hills - 10pm
Bassist - Veg#33, Buddhist#11, LGBT#5
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03-03-2011, 01:10 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles | | | Dear Abby, I am a drug dealer from Beaumont, Texas. My parents lived in Fort Worth but have recently been arrested for cooking meth. They were also financially dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers: one is serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a jazz musician? that I play bass guitar and have to out all night sometimes.
Signed, Worried About My Reputation |
03-03-2011, 10:49 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: San Diego | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MatticusMania  Send that in to where?
Ive read this thing a few times, and in all reality, the punchline could be much stronger. | Should I tell her that my cousin is a salesman at Guitar Center? |
03-03-2011, 10:53 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Canada! | | | Should I tell her my Fender, is really a fake?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Muaguana No ****, Sherlock? And do you have any more Capt. Obvious one-liners to share that contribute nothing to the discussion at hand? | |
03-03-2011, 11:05 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: West Covina (LA), SoCal | | | See, all of the last 3 responses have more suitable punchlines.
Thank you,
Signed,
The Punchline Comittee for Quality Lulz
__________________
Bassist for Starveya - www.reverbnation.com/starveya
Sat June 9th @ Shamrocks in Chino Hills - 10pm
Bassist - Veg#33, Buddhist#11, LGBT#5
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03-04-2011, 05:58 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Woking, Surrey, UK. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by AfroCubanFunkMa Dear Abby, I am a drug dealer from Beaumont, Texas. My parents lived in Fort Worth but have recently been arrested for cooking meth. They were also financially dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers: one is serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a jazz musician?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation | I think my Grandmother told me a version of that one when i was a kid.... 
__________________
Peter.
You hum it, I'll play it!!.
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03-04-2011, 06:02 AM
| | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: SATX by way of NOLA | | | We only drive Lexus in Big Money Texas. |
03-04-2011, 11:53 AM
| | lover of all things groovin, player of many basses | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Metro-Boston North Showahhh | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by MatticusMania The Punchline Comittee for Quality Lulz | :P | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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