Did I ask too many questions (1 question!)

tapehead · #1 01-15-2012, 07:48 PM

So I'm at a jam recently and this guy seems to like my playing. Next thing I know he says he interested in me playing with him. I said sure, I'd be interested too!
I hear all about he's got this and that going on, gigs coming up etc...I do a little research, find out he's got a couple albums out, hasnt hit the big time but is no beginner. I was told something about a tour.
So I start getting the songs to learn for a gig coming up and think...wait, do they think ive committed to this full time? I'm in two other bands...So I let them know, hey before I'm all in on this, can I see the schedule itenerary you have coming up..I dont want to just drop the bands I'm in for something I dont know about.
I literally have no idea how often this guy plays out or anything...I will say the money mentioned per show was good..
So after asking in an email (respectfully) about what exactly is going on and coming up I get the silent treatment..No response at all..I dont know if they think they are too big time to bother answering my questions and I should be grateful for the opportunity or what(although exactly what opportunity I dont know, all I heard was agent, tour, decent money..no specifics)....Some people really have a problem with communicating it seems. I for one refuse to deal with bands/musicians like that, doesnt bode well for the future.

Joe Nerve · #2 01-15-2012, 08:06 PM

There are countless reasons people do this kind of crap, and unfortunately we'll never know what they are. I've had it happen too many times to count.

One in particular not that long ago. Start of the story sounds just like yours. Guy had lot going for him, some well known people played on his CD, he liked what I had to offer and wanted me to do shows with him. We went back and forth a couple of times with emails and he said he was going to send the songs. Never got them. I just let it go, figuring it's another crazy dude. 2 months later the guy writes me again apologizing and admitting he totally flaked, yet still wants to hire me if I'm willing. I write back telling him no problem, just send me the songs... that was a few months ago.

People astound me.

Tom_RCJ · #3 01-15-2012, 08:27 PM

I could be misreading, and if so disregard this post, but one unanswered e-mail isn't a silent treatment. I could whip up 10 perfectly good reasons why he didn't answer, most of them would involve him not even getting your e-mail. I realize there's plenty you can do on your end to ensure the message went through to the right address, and I'm sure you've done most of them, but there could easily be other factors at play. Does he have more than one address? Does he even check e-mail regularly? Has his internet been giving him problems? Was your message spam-filtered? Does he get 40 messages a day from his daughter's Facebook account he's keeping track of?

I say send another message. Failing that, try to get in touch with him by phone. You must know someone from the jam that knows someone who knows his contact info. Track him down if you think it's worth it. If not then go ahead and drop the whole thing and wait for him to contact you.

I'm not saying you should stalk him, but giving up after one e-mail is a bit lazy.

Again, if I've misread then disregard what I wrote.

tapehead · #4 01-15-2012, 10:08 PM

[quote=Tom_RCJ;12042795]I could be misreading, and if so disregard this post, but one unanswered e-mail isn't a silent treatment. I could whip up 10 perfectly good reasons why he didn't answer, most of them would involve him not even getting your e-mail. I realize there's plenty you can do on your end to ensure the message went through to the right address, and I'm sure you've done most of them, but there could easily be other factors at play. Does he have more than one address? Does he even check e-mail regularly? Has his internet been giving him problems? Was your message spam-filtered? Does he get 40 messages a day from his daughter's Facebook account he's keeping track of?

No, they got the message, other emails were recieved by me. Plus a text was ignored. I guess its just my personality, I just prefer people to man up and say something. Personally I think the guy has a "star complex" and they expected me to drop everything (again, without knowing anything about his operation) because he's gonna be a "star".

tapehead · #5 01-15-2012, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Nerve

There are countless reasons people do this kind of crap, and unfortunately we'll never know what they are. I've had it happen too many times to count.

One in particular not that long ago. Start of the story sounds just like yours. Guy had lot going for him, some well known people played on his CD, he liked what I had to offer and wanted me to do shows with him. We went back and forth a couple of times with emails and he said he was going to send the songs. Never got them. I just let it go, figuring it's another crazy dude. 2 months later the guy writes me again apologizing and admitting he totally flaked, yet still wants to hire me if I'm willing. I write back telling him no problem, just send me the songs... that was a few months ago.

People astound me.

I know man...Not that I'm some angel but I even take the time to reply to emails from craigslist ads placed, just telling them thanks for answering the ad, but I've found what I'm looking for.

Pilgrim · #6 01-15-2012, 10:19 PM

You need to talk with this guy, not email him. Lots of things can go wrong with email.

BUT - if someone won't communicate with me, I damn sure don't want to be in a band with him.

rtslinger · #7 01-16-2012, 06:49 AM

I say keep doing what you doing with you other two bands nothing has changed for you?
Some guy asked you to play for him just talk? Get on with you life. If he gets in touch with you and wants do something seriously? Like wants you as a hired gun get everything in writing.

anderbass · #8 01-16-2012, 08:13 AM

The dude probably wants a bassist that would be available for any upcoming gigs. I totally agree he should have answered your email/text, but after you told him your already in 2 other bands he probably just gave up hope of you working out and didnt bother to reply.

Did you tell him about your other 2 bands right from the start? If not, that'd probably be a good Idea next time your in a situation like this.

AltGrendel · #9 01-16-2012, 08:37 AM

Have you gone back to the jam night and seen if he's there? If so, I'd be curious as to his reaction when/if you approached him.

fhm555 · #10 01-16-2012, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anderbass

...Did you tell him about your other 2 bands right from the start? If not, that'd probably be a good Idea next time your in a situation like this...

Always a good idea when someone mentions wanting you to play.