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03-21-2010, 07:33 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alberta, Canada | |  Drunk Fat Men at Pig Roasts
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So i was playing a gig out in the country at a special event, this was a few years ago. The annual pig roast. (for those not in the know, sometimes cowboy folks like to roast entire pigs as a kind of feast occasion for people to get together and get drunk out at somebodies farm).
Anyways so we set up in a tent, food was set up in another tent and there was a giant bonfire elsewhere. So after everyone had their fill and had ample time to get their drink on we started ripping into our tunes (blues/funk numbers).
Meanwhile there is a fat man with a huge cowboy hat, and believe me this man was much more circular than most. So he's wandering around with a 26ouncer of Jim Beam, no mix, drinking it straight from the bottle. At first he's up and dancing and appears to be having a great time. Next I see him sitting down with glazed look in eyes at one of the tables. After one of our songs he comes staggering up to the stage and tells us "we gotta turn down" because HE wants to have a conversation. Not knowing who he was (maybe it is his pig roast or something?) we quietly tell him ok but dont actually turn down at all. He goes and comes back and demands we turn down again, he is quite red in the face and yelling at us. This time we tell him to bugger off and go by the fire if he wants to have a conversation. He leaves and as he is walking away from us he slips on the grass and falls flat on his ass. I started laughing so hard i almost had to stop playing mid song. And the worst part was the guy couldnt get off his back much like a turtle. Needless to say shortly afterwards he was helped up by some nice folk and escorted off the property.
Hows that for satisfaction? |
03-21-2010, 07:37 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Central Alabama | | | Reminds me of a sound gig we did for a band that played at a middle school dance. A group of boys were standing in front of the speaker stack (2 feet in front.) One of them leaves the group and comes to the board and asks "Can you turn it down? We're trying to have a conversation." |
03-21-2010, 07:45 PM
|  | Real Basses Have 5 Strings! | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Colorado | | | going through life fat dumb and drunk is not good. |
03-21-2010, 09:39 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Columbus, Ohio | | Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzciggarette  Meanwhile there is a fat man with a huge cowboy hat, and believe me this man was much more circular than most. So he's wandering around with a 26ouncer of Jim Beam, no mix, drinking it straight from the bottle. At first he's up and dancing and appears to be having a great time. Next I see him sitting down with glazed look in eyes at one of the tables. After one of our songs he comes staggering up to the stage and tells us "we gotta turn down" because HE wants to have a conversation. Not knowing who he was (maybe it is his pig roast or something?) we quietly tell him ok but dont actually turn down at all. He goes and comes back and demands we turn down again, he is quite red in the face and yelling at us. This time we tell him to bugger off and go by the fire if he wants to have a conversation. He leaves and as he is walking away from us he slips on the grass and falls flat on his ass. I started laughing so hard i almost had to stop playing mid song. And the worst part was the guy couldnt get off his back much like a turtle. Needless to say shortly afterwards he was helped up by some nice folk and escorted off the property.
Hows that for satisfaction? | Remember...just because you're big enough to have your own gravitational pull doesn't mean the world revolves around you.
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03-21-2010, 09:45 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mossy Point NSW Australia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ric5 going through life fat dumb and drunk is not good. | Don't knock it till you've tried it... 
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03-21-2010, 09:55 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: PM me for this ;) | | Quote:
Originally Posted by rhythmsection Remember...just because you're big enough to have your own gravitational pull doesn't mean the world revolves around you. | Nice, I'll have to remember this one. 
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03-21-2010, 11:29 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Ontario Canada | | | About 5 years ago, we played an outdoor pig-gig very similiar to the one mentioned by jazzcigarette. It was an "intiation" for 3 new members of this group of friends who called themselves the Friendly Neighbourhood Alcoholics. One of the "inductees" was a LARGE man, about 6'7" and 350-400 pounds. The other 2 were just regular sized guys. These 3 guys were given a trophy bottle, the kind that holds about 3 litres of plonk. Each one had a few snorts and then were sent on their way to finish the jug. Between our second and third set they were called up to the stage to see how they had been doing with the bottle. The LARGE man was carying the two others, one in each arm AND holding the bottle with a little left in it.He made it up to the stagewhere he dropped the other 2 guys. The host of the evening dared him to chug the rest of the bottle. The LARGE man did and promptly passed out on the stage. All 3 stayed there while we finished our third set, since nobody could move the LARGE man and nobody wanted to touch the other two guys. |
03-21-2010, 11:32 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Chicago Suburbs | | | This thread wins.
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03-21-2010, 11:40 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Phoenix, AZ | | | Hahahaha!
Reminds me of a month ago at a bar where my friends where playing. I ended up doing sound for them that night. By sound...I mean I controlled the pa for the vocals only. Anyways some lady came to me saying that it was too loud. I told her that I would do what I can. A song later she yelled at me and the band and left.
It was funny because she was shaking her keys at up and making a scene.
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03-22-2010, 07:09 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Gastonia, NC | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Stinsok Reminds me of a sound gig we did for a band that played at a middle school dance. A group of boys were standing in front of the speaker stack (2 feet in front.) One of them leaves the group and comes to the board and asks "Can you turn it down? We're trying to have a conversation." | This is classic. Very funny. 
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03-23-2010, 06:42 AM
|  | Registered User | | | | | 'Here's to alcohol : The cause of ... and answer to all of life's problems.' - Homer Simpson |
03-23-2010, 09:40 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Mesa, Arizona | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ric5 going through life fat dumb and drunk is not good. | Hey, Limbaugh does it... 
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03-23-2010, 09:48 AM
| | | | the cause of & solution to
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03-23-2010, 12:33 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: FLORIDA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim C. This thread wins. | Yes it does !!!!! |
03-23-2010, 01:05 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Tempe, Arizona, USA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Daddy Mac About 5 years ago, we played an outdoor pig-gig very similiar to the one mentioned by jazzcigarette. It was an "intiation" for 3 new members of this group of friends who called themselves the Friendly Neighbourhood Alcoholics. One of the "inductees" was a LARGE man, about 6'7" and 350-400 pounds. The other 2 were just regular sized guys. These 3 guys were given a trophy bottle, the kind that holds about 3 litres of plonk. Each one had a few snorts and then were sent on their way to finish the jug. Between our second and third set they were called up to the stage to see how they had been doing with the bottle. The LARGE man was carying the two others, one in each arm AND holding the bottle with a little left in it.He made it up to the stagewhere he dropped the other 2 guys. The host of the evening dared him to chug the rest of the bottle. The LARGE man did and promptly passed out on the stage. All 3 stayed there while we finished our third set, since nobody could move the LARGE man and nobody wanted to touch the other two guys. |
EPIC win, as Jim Rome would say.
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03-23-2010, 03:22 PM
|  | Dr. Hook | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania US | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ric5 going through life fat dumb and drunk is not good. | "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son" ....Dean Wermer |
03-23-2010, 03:28 PM
|  | Life is Tough. Laugh more. Moderator | | Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Warwick, Rhode Island, USA | | | Who mentioned 'pig roast'?
And where's my Uncle Elmer?
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03-29-2010, 12:11 PM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by rhythmsection Remember...just because you're big enough to have your own gravitational pull doesn't mean the world revolves around you. | Yeah, but I've met plenty of very fit, and trim jerks with egos that almost form their own black holes.  | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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