Go Back   TalkBass Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]
Register Rules/FAQ/CUP Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG] Bass jokes, musician jokes, gigs gone wrong...


Supporting Membership
Thank You

Latest Supporting Member
Donate to Upgrade Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:01 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Madison, WI
Drunk People Hitting on You/Your Band at the Gig.

Sign in to disble this ad
Inspired by this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by BassHue92 View Post
One time at a smaller club gig, a drunk chick lunged onto the stage and mauled my lead guitarist. Then fell off the stage, threw up, and started scream-crying.
I was rolling on the floor laughing when I visualized this, and I was thinking that there have to be more stories like this.

I want to hear them.

I don't have one of my own to share, but let's hear your worst (best) stories about the hotties who wanted to have their way with you, but had a little bit too much sauce to do it effectively.

Last edited by ErebusBass : 05-20-2009 at 11:11 PM.
  #2  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:09 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Washington State
This will be a short thread....we are all bass players. LOL j/k

I had a girl flash me once while I was on stage, then she tried to talk my ear off while I was tearing down and the end of the night, but my wife was standing right there so I knew I was safe......boring story I know, but thats it for me.
  #3  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:12 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North Dakota
Happened twice. I married one and the other was a few months ago when I was doing a fill-in gig. Guess she didn't see my ring.
  #4  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:14 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveC View Post
Happened twice. I married one and the other was a few months ago when I was doing a fill-in gig. Guess she didn't see my ring.

Sometimes they just don't care.
__________________
Acoustic Club #133, Passive Club #130
"Squier Owners Club" Classic Vibe Club #2
  #5  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:14 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
...
nope, never happened.
__________________
damned teeny pinky....always hits the wrong string and makes this ugly noise.
  #6  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:16 AM
loend68's Avatar
Registered User

Endorsing Artist: Spector Basses, T.C. Electronics
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NH
GOLD Supporting Member
A friend of mine was at our last show and she hadn't been to one in a while and came up to me after the show and said 'You still got it!!". She said that at every show she's been to there's always been at least one cougar in the back talking all about me.....fortunately they usually don't attack.....
__________________
www.vegastemper.com
www.lastkidpicked.com

Spector Club Member #45
NS-2, NS-2JA, NS-2O, NS-2A, NS-4CRFM, Euro 5lx, NS-2000B

Mediocre Bassist Club Member #30

NH Bassists Club Member #11
  #7  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:24 AM
MooseLumps's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Portland
Supporting Member
Never happens to me. I look like a bass player.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Bassie View Post
We all have the occasional fond thought of you too, Moose...
Looking for a job in audio/staging ect. in Portland. PM me for my resume.
  #8  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:24 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
i had a drunk girl in the front row point to me & proclaim "I am going to F you tonight" my girl was standing right next to her.

it kind of makes you feel good to have a woman throw herself at you. esspecially since it NEVER happens.
__________________
"Your bitterness is melting my monitor." - bassXgirl
myspace.com/jrollinsbass
  #9  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:27 AM
Phalex's Avatar
Yeah, I've got the moves like Jagger.
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: G.R. MI
Supporting Member
I'm big, fat, and ugly. On top of that, I play bass. Chicks don't generally want to ride the ole "Tower Of Terror" if you know what I'm sayin.

There are a couple of very hot chicks that like to take "Stage Rides" when I'm pedaling on a low D. That always brings a smile to my face as well as to theirs.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BassChalice View Post
Everybody pay attention to Phalex now!
Quote:
Originally Posted by champbassist View Post
My cat breath smelling a cat's odor is eating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hover View Post
He's got the Moo OO OO OO OO OO OO OObs like Jagger....
  #10  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:38 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North Dakota
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex View Post
I'm big, fat, and ugly. On top of that, I play bass.
Me, too. Fortunately, that's what my wife likes. Bonus for me - she's significantly younger than me. Score!
  #11  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:45 AM
Knifedge's Avatar
Thunderbirdie
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Supporting Member
I have actually had a female follow me to about 20 straight gigs in a two month time period. Decent looking girl, a little older, I think she was more lonely and thought maybe I was single. Turns out she is a nurse for a plastic surgeon here (she had massive implants) and she finally worked up the courage to find out if I was taken. I told her I was.. haven't seen her since.

And even though I am married, and I openly tell them, to most of them, it doesn't matter, it makes it more of a sport for them I think.
__________________
Ampeg Club No.524, Thunderbird Club #20
Canadian Club Member #128
  #12  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:46 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: maggot me
Send a message via AIM to maggot_me
omg i was carrying my bass in spencors and then an old lady smacked my but and said hey in a smoker voice and i dropped on my knees and cried screaming ahh my eyes.....i got kicked out, and got put in mall jail
.....***
__________________
Don't do tommorrow what you can do the day after tommorrow! Excludes:-Bass Playing -Eating

Last edited by maggot_me : 04-30-2009 at 11:48 AM.
  #13  
Old 04-30-2009, 11:49 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Empty Hills
in addition to playing bass, I also dj a bit, playing old funk and soul,
and that tends to draw out the attacking drunk broads more than my bass gigs do-
it's much easier for them to talk to you/hump yer leg whilst mixing.
  #14  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:01 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Stillwater Minnesota
two quick stories

We had set up earlier in the day we were to go on stage right after the male dancers. We waited in the bar area with a few old men while 200+ mostly drunk women watched the male dancers. When the doors flew open we had to shove our way to the stage with theese women grabbing/patting/squezzing us. It was like a scene from a maovie and a very intersting gig for a single 30 year old guy!

Same band a year later, playing our regular 1st and 3rd weeken at aboxing club whorehouse county bar. Lotsa fun, low dough. We kinda sorta new the regulars and there was this group of four women that liked our band. One night the Brown eyed one is way drunk. We break and on my way to the bathroom, she stops me in the middle of the dance floor, grabs my cowboy hat, puts it on and start hanging on me, great fun actually.
She leans back and starts to unbutton my shirt and play with my chest etc. By this time any resemblance to proffesionalism has left me. About the time she starts undoing my bely, I tap her friends shoulder. The other three drag her off of me and I compose myself. The rest of the night she is dancing suggestively in front of me. I ocasionally would do a pelvic thrust her direction or lick my lips. She would start toward the stage, but her friends would drag her back.
__________________
Best of Luck,
Wesley R.
  #15  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:01 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La. area
We were playing a club that has a younger client base..ie. young hot college coeds and two heavily intoxicated young ladies needed to "play with the band" for a song or two. They were all over everyone in the band. I didn't mind, it's part of my job to entertain. So the big firm 20 y/o breasts that were all on me didn't bother me. I did miss a note, OK, maybe two. The other young lady crawled in between the lead singers legs and was jammin' laying up against the monitor. I hope she had the appropriate undergarments on, if not, the drummer got a early birthday dance. I was just doing my job, entertaining the massive crowd when, I looked down in front of the massive crowd, and there was a buddy of mine's daughter looking at me with a most dissappointing look. They are good friends of our family. I kinda shrugged and returned to my job. The flashes from her friends camera were a bit distracting as I had flashes of my wife's divorce attorney showing the pictures to the judge. I never saw the pics.....all is good......for now.
  #16  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:05 PM
sneha1965's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NOVA
Supporting Member
What is a "Stage Ride"?
__________________
Official Fender Precision Bass Club # 6
Fender Jazz Bass Club # 433
Hofner Club # 26
Mike Lull Club # 25
Rickenbacker Club # 219
Hollowbody Bass Club # 236
  #17  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:12 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Las Cruces, NM USA
I have one. . . This really good lookin chick was eying me all night while I was onstage with my blues/rock band, I was there with my girlfriend and she was eying her too?? well after the show she comes up to me and says "if you take me home with you and your girl, I'll show you the best time you've ever had. . . all night". Well I thought about it, and then declined cuz this chick is pretty much a local barfly that throws herself at ALLOT of people. turns out she made the same proposition to my girl like 3 times while I was on stage. And then a couple months later I was playing with my improv group at a different bar and she tried again!!! she was persistent to say the least, last time she showed up at a gig she eyed, but didn't ask so I think she got the picture(or maybe she wasn't drunk enough) LOL

We've had one other chick propose the same situation at a gig and if my girl was into that sort of thing I would have jumped on that opportunity in a heartbeat cuz this one was HOT!!! but no dice, but hey I went home and got laid regardless
__________________
U.S. Peavey Club Member #89 - U.S. Peavey Cirrus Club Member #23 - Fretless Club Member #198 - Dean Club #31-Blues Messiah-Jam Theory
  #18  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:17 PM
spigmu's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NYC
Supporting Member
A few years ago there was this drunk guy who kept showing up at gigs and hitting me. After a wh...Oh wait, hitting ON you.


Nope.
__________________
Can I just bring the Ashbory?
  #19  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:17 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Winnipeg, MB.
A gig we had a couple years ago this really drunk 18 year old girl (18 is legal here in Canada) got up on the stage and started dancing in front of me (strange since I play in a death metal band). She was grinding up against my bass, she made it very diffuicult to play. The security guy comes up asks her to get off the stage, and looks at me and says sorry I have to do my job.

2 songs latter the same girl and a friend of hers both get on the stage start grinding me again and take their shirts off. So I got 2 girls dancing loppless up against me, my drummer is laughing his a** off and my guitar player/vocalist is staring while trying to sing. The security comes back on stage says to me "sorry dude I wish I didn't have to do this" and asks them to get off the stage, they refused, slipped their phone numbers into my pocket, and got dragged off the stage.

That was an interesting night.

And yes they were hot.
__________________
#11 DEATH METAL BASSIST CLUB #73 #18 OFFICAL BC RICHCLUB.

Last edited by Krause : 04-30-2009 at 12:39 PM.
  #20  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:20 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Washington State
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krause View Post
A gig we had a couple years ago this really drunk 18 year old girl (18 is legal here in Canada) got up on the stage and started dancing in front of me (strange since I play in a death metal band). She was grinding up against my bass, she made it very diffuicult to play. The security guy comes up asks her to get off the stage, and looks at me and says sorry I have to do my job.

2 songs latter the same girl and a friend of hers both get on the stage start grinding me again and take their shirts off. So I got 2 girls dancing loppless up against me, my drummer is laughing his a** off and my guitar player/vocalist is staring while trying to sing. The security comes back on stage says to me "sorry dude I wish I didn't have to do this" and asks them to get off the stage, they refused, slipped their phone numbers into my pocket, and got dragged off the stage.

That was an interesting night.

I love Canada. When I was 18 I used to ride my motorcycle up there and go to the clubs. Oh the memories. (that was 16 years ago)
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Follow TalkBass on Twitter   Visit TalkBass on Facebook  

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:38 AM.




Copyright 2011 Talk Music Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Play guitar? Visit our new sister site TalkGuitar.com [beta]
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.