Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

[TNCreature]

fender squier BASS - $75 (DEVON PA)
Date: 2012-01-27, 10:10PM EST
Reply to: sale-rhcth-2818261772@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I HAVE A FENDER-P-BASS
NEVER USED IT WHEN I BOT IT IS IN GOOD SHAPE
SO EMAIL ME OR CALL ME AND RICHARD SO
HERES MY NUMBER 610-xxx-xxxx AND NO TEXTING ME THANK YOU
PICK UP ONLY THANK YOU AND NO CHECKS CASH ONLY
MUST SELL ASAP AND IM RICHARD


Location: DEVON PA
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 0

PostingID: 2818261772

[steamthief]

I lol'd when I opened this one up!

tampring?.pics.

tampring?.pics. - $20 (rialto)

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Date: 2012-01-30, 1:34PM PST
Reply to: sale-sdnsu-2818716486@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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i dont know it how it spelled.?

[fraublugher]

for when the add expires















it's a tambourine.

[My name is Mudd]

I was expecting another 'IT'S COUNTERFEIT...DON'T BUY THIS, YA FOOL!!!1111!" thingy, accusing the seller of "...tampring with X" (where X = your fave expensive instrument being advertized real cheap).

[TNCreature]

LOL! My imagination was running wild.

Originally Posted by steamthief

I lol'd when I opened this one up!

tampring?.pics.

tampring?.pics. - $20 (rialto)

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Date: 2012-01-30, 1:34PM PST
Reply to: sale-sdnsu-2818716486@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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i dont know it how it spelled.?

[TheMightyWoot1]

Amazing bassist just moved in (Corvallis)

Date: 2011-12-23, 7:00PM PST

22 year old bassist ready to gig immediately. All pro gear, 5-string active bass, 400w 2x10 combo. I have played dozens upon dozens of shows. I have a few years experience hitting the road too. I prefer metal, but nothing as far as scream-o *&^%$#@!. No death metal, because playing fast isn't always playing good. I'm also down for some hard rock. Cover bands are okay, but only as long as we still produce originals. No flaky or drug addicted groups. Weed is okay, as I smoke a $#!@ load of it. No psycho girlfriends, because that's usually a bummer. No emo kids, because they bug me.

E-mail only as of right now.

Location: Corvallis
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2767370831

Wonder what makes him so amazing?

[My name is Mudd]

His sense of self, apparently.

[winstonthecat]

Not a dumb ad, but maybe unique is the right word.

Didgeridoo Player / Lessons / Gigs


Full on didgeridoo jammer , ready to play your coolest wedding , funky backyard party , corporate event , meditation or yoga class . I also have cosmic rhythm section , djembe / conga / clarinet / flute for an eclectic and most innovative sound . Let us set a rhythmic pulse and earthy dance funk or spiritual calm to your event . Open and willing to join up with any band / group / collective who may need a rockin didge player .
*** also offer lessons in basic drone technique , circular breathing and accents of vocals and overtones - Lessons --- very reasonable rates 35 $ / Hour . I can take you there !

[winstonthecat]

Here's another interesting one from the SF Bay Area. They seem to be really into Tolkien.


Symphonic metal


Symphonic metal (san jose downtown)

Date: 2012-02-01, 12:27PM PST
Reply to: 5fqvt-2814633149@comm.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Greetings, We are Thangorodrim a symphonic metal band.We currently consist of Corina and Scott, cora is a full lyric soprano and currently writes the lyrics for our songs.Scott writes and plays pretty much all the music right now includung, guitar,bass,keyboard and he also does vocals. We have material for a demo and are working on recording it. We eventually want to play live and are definatley working on expanding our band. Thus we are most intrested in aquiring a keyboardist, a drummer and a bassist. Scott will be doing lead guitar for the band and we may want to incorporate a rhythm guitarist for extra layering as well. Feel most free to contact us via craigslist or by phone 408-726-8130 calls or texts are fine. The theme of our music lies deep within majestic thought. Our name Thangorodrim is taken from J.R.R.Tolkien's The Silmarilion. Thangorodrim means the Iron Mountains which lie deep in the land of Angband in the first age of Middle Earth.


AngbandRecords's Channel - YouTube this is some rough recordings of us on youtube, its an idea of our style and we are planning on implementing a heavier sound.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[sigam68]

This one here made chuckle.

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap (SFV)
Date: 2012-02-02, 8:18AM PST
Reply to: e9rnc-2823562426@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
We specialize in guitar Duct Tape refinishing and have been in the business for over a decade. We are a full serviced Guitar Custom Shop. Offering custom guitar Duct Tape jobs and Duct Tape guitar restoration.

We only use cutting edge space age technology Duct Tape.

Duct Tape increases sustain, prevents splitting when clubbing unruly bar patron.

Pricing:

Single solid color: $17
Two color: $23
Custom color: $28
Bottle opener: $6

All Duct Tape refinishes come with a life time guarantee. Just bring your guitar back and "We'll fix it for life!"

line6 marshall fender vox peavey mesa boogie trace elliot bogner hughes & kettner diezel amp amplifier cab Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Fractal, Splawn, VHT, Fryette, Diezel, Orange, Blackstar, Randall, Line 6, Peavey, EVH, Divided by 13, Matchless, Hiwatt, Rivera, Gibson, Fender La Cabronita, Relic custom Shop

Location: SFV
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[nortonrider]

Don't need skills but if you are a hot chick, have a svt, a PA or a car,,,,,, you're in.

destroy all bluegrass (telluride)

Date: 2012-01-30, 4:59PM MST
Reply to: comm-y2q9m-2826524308@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I have a dream. In it, there's a town where instead of people twirling around to so called "music", they go utterly batshit over a blistering cover band playing material ranging from zeppelin to sepultura, white stripes to hendrix, and hard, loud, and aggressive originals. The kind of show where you pass out at home dreamily afterwards stinking of alcohol and cigarettes with your ears still ringing. I.E, a rock band, not as in "wow Pretty Lights really rocked" I'm talking about a band that PLAYS rock and roll, and rocks while doing so. it's all so simple.

Needed:
BASSIST. One who has a real bass amp, along the lines of an ampeg svt. A bass amp with 1 15 inch speaker WILL NOT CUT IT.
DRUMMER. you dont have to be Neil Peart. you just have to play HARD AND LOUD, when necessary, count to 4 or 6 reasonably well and look cool. real drums, and especially cymbals aboove the Sabian b8 line are mandatory.
VOCALIST. Looking at the above mentioned artist should give you an idea of the range you will need to be capable of.

Ultra high skill levels not particularly neccesary. you dont have to read music. simple, tough, hungry players with good time, looks, and a car that runs are more important than chop dweebs.

I am not opposed to a second guitarist. Unbelievably hot girls who rock get first priority. So will so individuals who own a real PA, and possibly have a rehearsal space, or are willing to split rent on one. Individuals who write their own material, and wish to collaborate on originals given high priority. email here. and im not cashing your check from nigeria.

[winstonthecat]

Slightly amusing...so is a bass an "abnormal" guitar?

Cool bassist wanted



Cool bassist wanted (excelsior / outer mission)

Date: 2012-02-02, 8:37PM PST
Reply to: zbutv-2832142007@comm.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are a new band, who play a blend of indie rock, arabic, and pop.

Are you a bass player, who loves the instrument? Do you prefer bass guitar over normal guitar? If so, email me. We have samples available for you. Thanks!

[ricorica]

Originally Posted by sigam68

This one here made chuckle.

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap (SFV)
Date: 2012-02-02, 8:18AM PST
Reply to: e9rnc-2823562426@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
We specialize in guitar Duct Tape refinishing and have been in the business for over a decade. We are a full serviced Guitar Custom Shop. Offering custom guitar Duct Tape jobs and Duct Tape guitar restoration.

We only use cutting edge space age technology Duct Tape.

Duct Tape increases sustain, prevents splitting when clubbing unruly bar patron.

Pricing:

Single solid color: $17
Two color: $23
Custom color: $28
Bottle opener: $6

All Duct Tape refinishes come with a life time guarantee. Just bring your guitar back and "We'll fix it for life!"

line6 marshall fender vox peavey mesa boogie trace elliot bogner hughes & kettner diezel amp amplifier cab Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Fractal, Splawn, VHT, Fryette, Diezel, Orange, Blackstar, Randall, Line 6, Peavey, EVH, Divided by 13, Matchless, Hiwatt, Rivera, Gibson, Fender La Cabronita, Relic custom Shop

Location: SFV
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

This is epic!!!!

[bdgreen88]

Originally Posted by nortonrider

Needed:
BASSIST. One who has a real bass amp, along the lines of an ampeg svt. A bass amp with 1 15 inch speaker WILL NOT CUT IT.

What is really sad is that a lot of people really believe this. Why do you need more to be in a band? If ur 1x15 has a di out ur solid for any size venue lol. When will people realize gear does not equal talent. this is really funny but also sad cuz it's an all too often post on CL lol.

[My name is Mudd]

Originally Posted by bdgreen88

What is really sad is that a lot of people really believe this.

As Andre Agassi's Canon ads stated...image is everything.

[fraublugher]

Originally Posted by sigam68

This one here made chuckle.

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap

Guitar Refinishing - Cheap (SFV)
Date: 2012-02-02, 8:18AM PST
Reply to: e9rnc-2823562426@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
We specialize in guitar Duct Tape refinishing and have been in the business for over a decade. We are a full serviced Guitar Custom Shop. Offering custom guitar Duct Tape jobs and Duct Tape guitar restoration.

We only use cutting edge space age technology Duct Tape.

Duct Tape increases sustain, prevents splitting when clubbing unruly bar patron.

Pricing:

Single solid color: $17
Two color: $23
Custom color: $28
Bottle opener: $6

All Duct Tape refinishes come with a life time guarantee. Just bring your guitar back and "We'll fix it for life!"

line6 marshall fender vox peavey mesa boogie trace elliot bogner hughes & kettner diezel amp amplifier cab Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Fractal, Splawn, VHT, Fryette, Diezel, Orange, Blackstar, Randall, Line 6, Peavey, EVH, Divided by 13, Matchless, Hiwatt, Rivera, Gibson, Fender La Cabronita, Relic custom Shop

Location: SFV
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

1. hey man. i have a fender strat that needs some duct taping. would you do a custom color duct tape job with the bottle opener for $25 cash? thanks

2. Could you give me a quote for a les paul tape job? I'm not sure if i'm looking for duct or want to go with some traditional scotch...i was also thinking about the black electrician look but i'm not sure if i want my friends to think i'm sort of faggy goth.

3. do you do cars also? If so I have an 1981 Honda to refinish/recover/. Let me know how much you would charhe and how long it will take. I would a two colour scheme with pin stripes.

responses , real or j/k , you be the judge

[fhm555]

I just responded to a "goofy" craigslist ad and walked away with a killer deal on a sweet little Mark II and a big azzed peavey power amp.

[Old Joe]

Originally Posted by bdgreen88

What is really sad is that a lot of people really believe this. Why do you need more to be in a band? If ur 1x15 has a di out ur solid for any size venue lol. When will people realize gear does not equal talent. this is really funny but also sad cuz it's an all too often post on CL lol.

Just like trainings and certifications in a regular job may not equal talent, they sure equal commitment.

[Mykk]

INDUSTRIAL METAL BAND LOOKING FOR A CLARINETIST

INDUSTRIAL METAL BAND LOOKING FOR A CLARINETIST

Mechanical Reed War III is an Industrial metal band, with a shock rock visual ethos. You'll be able to see some live pictures, videos, and photos of the last line-up and listen to some mp3's of the band's last demo. (without clarinet)

The band has a brand new line-up (new drummer and bass player) and we're looking for a reliable clarinetist with a good rock look and cool "rocking" face. The music in this band is harder to play than it seems so, like, lead clarinetists would be very welcome.

Like I mentioned previously, this is a SHOCK ROCK band, I am looking for musicians who have a visual style, as well as musical style that fits the band. Like Glenn Miller meets Rammstein, but infinitely more amazing.

We've been wasting our time with ridiculous guitar players and desperate oboe losers for the last few weeks, so if you don't fit the band's requests don't waste your time contacting us anymore. If you can't shred a licorice whip and look badass while doing it, don't even bother.

LET THE REED WARZ BEGIN!

[nutdog]

Originally Posted by Mykk

Like Glenn Miller meets Rammstein, but infinitely more amazing.

Whoooooaaaaa....infinitely