This is from the Tampa Bay CL (which almost reads like this thread sometimes). I like the opening.
"To keep this as concise as I can "
To keep this as concise as I can I am looking for a guitarist (and/or bassist) who has been playing at least a few years, knows some basic music theory and has the dedication/gear to do an original EP (or maybe even album) with me. I'm a singer/ drum programmer primarily using Logic as my DAW. I have several years of experience with the ins and outs of digital recording and many years of exp. singing so I expect whoever replies to know their stuff and play on more than an $80 pawn shop knock-off guitar and 15 watt practice amp. I also do lyrics and editing, merely comes with the territory.
I live within an hour of the Tampa area, south to be exact. However, I have grown tired of the sheer amount of flakes, douchebags, druggies etc. that I've met around my city area and I'm not the most social guy ever so I am expanding my search. Please note that my main goal/interest here is in RECORDING. I am not against playing live one day perhaps but this is not going to be a "band" situation unless maybe I somehow find 2 other guys who I'm on the same page with or something like that.. but a guitar player and/or a bass player with motivation, decent gear and talent are what I'm looking for. As probably everyone on here knows, (unless you've lived under the same rock for the last century) an entire album could be recorded these days without the musical artists ever even being in the same room so I don't care about distance. You could even be in Uzbekistan or some ****** place like that, but within state lines seems ideal.
I'm in my early/mid 20's but am open to all diff. ages here. My preference is 18-45 but it's negotiable. Please also realize that I do this as a HOBBY and have no aspirations for doing music as a career. If you do then ok but again this is a recording project, not a touring/live band one. I have love for all diff/ genres and subgenres of rock/metal but what I'm mostly interested in are the following: Retro Rock; Hard Rock; Metal; Punk. I have already made an EP along the retro/hard/pop rock line of 5 songs so I am open to continuing in this avenue or experimenting more w/ punk or metal. I can also provide samples of my work to anyone so please be willing and able to send me some too. I'm not going to blab on about 5 million bands I like but some of my all time fav's (in no particular order) are: Def Leppard, Motley, (Old) Buckcherry, Stone Gods, Darkness, Ramones, Rancid, Dropkick Murphys, Sabbath, GWAR, (Old) Disturbed, Orgy, Everclear, etc. So as you can tell I have a wide range of tastes.
WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR:
1. Total stoner idiots who do nothing but talk about how cool weed is all daaaay broooo.... (This applies to all other narcotics too, moderation is ok but not obsession)
2. Fundamentalist Christian anuses & Extremist Muslim rectums who feel the need to preach on about their "superior" beliefs.
3. Raging active alcoholics
4. Oversensitive people (Unless they enjoy being a bit offended

5. Lazy/unreliable individuals who will take 8 months to complete 1 song and make excuses as to why they didn't have time (even though they were playing video games nonstop).
6. Entitled assholes who leech off the government via grant money and/or their parents buying $2000 guitars nearly every semester yet not even caring about playing/recording with the instrument.
7. Gingers
Note: Jk on #7, Ron Howard is the man!
And please forgive any bizarre grammar.
Also, if you're too busy chasing squirrels, talking to lizards and holding the next Les Paul you've bought with government money over a starving family's heads or if you're an anorexic potheaded wannabe neo-nazi living off your 200-500 lb whale girlfriend go ahead and skip this ad too. Additionally, if you spell like an autistic 4 year old, have an ugly acne-ridden face with giant cheeks and big puffy lips, have a brillo pad for hair, think that an X-Box pos karaoke microphone is better than the one built into an 07 MacBook Pro and say "honestly" constantly DO NOT REPLY! In fact, an hero asap bro.
Yes... THAT is some of what I've had to deal with.
So if you've made it this far, aren't all offended, are interested and want to get something going ASAP even as a strong hobby then hit me up and we can exchange samples.
I've dealt with such losers, flakes and assheads that as this point I don't care who you are as long as you're not who I just ranted on and on about. Race, sex, nationality, sexual orientation, political views, location etc. don't matter as long as you're not those specified above. You could be Hitler's relative or RuPaul, don't care. Hope to hear from some reliable people soon. Peace.
http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/muc/3365124737.html