Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

[Thor]

Originally Posted by TNCreature

I posted an ad on CL looking for some extra "odd job" type of work for some extra holiday season $$.
Someone responded saying that they were "interested in (my) services".
I googled the e-mail address (something I advise) and saw multiple ads from this person on CL personals looking for people with "pretty feet"!
Yeah...I didn't call back. my feet aren't pretty, but even then...no.

LMAO, good one.

[dtripoli]

Hard Rock/Metal Band Looking for Vocalist
...You must be able to practice three times a week. Saturday, Tues and Wednesday,
usually from 8-10pm (We all have jobs so it varies every now and again.)
Also we split the cost evenly, comes out to $8 a piece....

Gotta love LA craigslist..
3 days a week is pushing it, these people never heard of woodshedding?
Besides, I ain't feeling the "hard rock" vibe from a guitarist shredding on what appears to be his daughter's Hello Kitty Squier.

[TNCreature]

Originally Posted by dtripoli

Hard Rock/Metal Band Looking for Vocalist
...You must be able to practice three times a week. Saturday, Tues and Wednesday,
usually from 8-10pm (We all have jobs so it varies every now and again.)
Also we split the cost evenly, comes out to $8 a piece....

Gotta love LA craigslist..
3 days a week is pushing it, these people never heard of woodshedding?
Besides, I ain't feeling the "hard rock" vibe from a guitarist shredding on what appears to be his daughter's Hello Kitty Squier.

Love the pic. Not to mention, they rehearse in LA's cheapest rehearsal studio.

[Grateful]

Originally Posted by TNCreature

Love the pic. Not to mention, they rehearse in LA's cheapest rehearsal studio.

We always have to pay extra for the room with the heavy bag and BBQ grill/smoker...

[AuntieBeeb]

Originally Posted by dtripoli

Hard Rock/Metal Band Looking for Vocalist
...You must be able to practice three times a week. Saturday, Tues and Wednesday,
usually from 8-10pm (We all have jobs so it varies every now and again.)
Also we split the cost evenly, comes out to $8 a piece....

Gotta love LA craigslist..
3 days a week is pushing it, these people never heard of woodshedding?
Besides, I ain't feeling the "hard rock" vibe from a guitarist shredding on what appears to be his daughter's Hello Kitty Squier.

I always assumed it was just fair and polite to split the cost evenly...or am I in the minority? Do some bands break up the price in proportion to who's making the most noise?

[amimbari]

I saved this one as I thought it was one of the better ones.....

I will be paying top notch members for a new band in (Pittsburgh)
Date: 2012-11-13, 3:10PM EST
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here

First, let me start with You are going to be paid regardless if we are in the basement or on stage, it just so happens when we reach that level, your payscale will increase exponentially.

you want in? you will hear me when you come down and sign the contract ---

I am the singer and will be forming a band I do not want any pros, NOR do I want any teenagers under 21 ( SORRY ), pros are usually happy with what they got and impossible to work with and not looking for a band change, and teens? well I don't hate you all but there will obviously be a lot of 21 and over venues to play so sorry twinks, your OUT .....

#1 we will not sound like anything around here already. <<<< YES CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!?!!!
#2 I will not take just anyone because I have lot's of cash and I am willing to PAY people to be in my band. <<<< I'll bet you never had that happen before????
#3 the band will start the tour once we get 75 songs down. Should take what?...2-3 weeks maximum right?
#4 I am paying 50.00 cash money at the end of each and every practice to any members who join my band, and a minimum of 300.00 to play in any gig I book
#5 Because of the financial issues, I must have you sign a contract to make this a REAL-DEAL PROVIDED I LIKE YOU, and you will never have to play a freebee gig again.
#6 If you are afraid of contracts, and what responsibility you must achieve after putting your John Hancock on it, THEN DON'T REPLY

if you are sitting in the garage, or in a go-nowhere "sell tickets/pay to play" band I have the golden opportunity for you to show off your talent!!!!

p.s. I am not a psycho, nor am I a ****** trying to get people to come over to jam because I am bored. I have an insurance settlement from my last job that has almost 100k in the bank for me to blow on my first love..... MUSIC!!!!!

some might think I'm trying to "BUY MY WAY INTO creating a #1 BAND" ....well perhaps so, but when I am done I will be in the next band that will be touring all over the world on MY expense....how many of you lame ****head Pittsburghers who are out of work would jump at a paying gig??...let's see... ok raise your hands...yep that's what I thought 52,049 of you already.....

GREAT!!!!

[amimbari]

or maybe this one?

RE: Washington DC trip (huh?)
Date: 2012-08-06, 4:05PM EDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
I'm moving to Arlington, Virginia in late October/ early November. I was convinced that I'd be doing it on my own, but I might find someone crazy enough to try it!
Of those who ask to come with, I expect you to be able to take care of half or your share. We would work together as a band under my name, and live together. I can provide more details if you are interested.

This ad is the most unusual way of a gay guy to ask for a sleeping partner I ever saw.
Get the guy to come with you so there is no chance in hell of him being able to leave, then BOINK him while he is sleeping from a drug induced coma?

BRILLIANT!!!
( well unless the fellow musician is also gay, then that would work out perfectly without the drugs )

[TNCreature]

Not music related, but...WHAT THE??? Such a gross picture.

Kitchen Grease in Pickle Jars (Philadelphia)

Not sure if anyone would be interested but I've got like 5 jars of grease built up over many fryings of bacon and other random meals in my kitchen over the past year or so.

I'm thinking someone with a bio-diesel engine might be find this post useful.

E-mail to arrange for pick up near Philadelphia Museum of Art.

[Mehve]

Originally Posted by TNCreature

E-mail to arrange for pick up near Philadelphia Museum of Art.

You sure someone isn't selling an exhibit by accident?

[Double E]

Originally Posted by JFOC

Apparently people don't know the difference between a SUB & a stingray.

http://nh.craigslist.org/msg/3472050511.html

Music Man Stingray SUB 5 String, USA Made - $550

Music Man Stingray SUB 5, made in San Luis Obispo CA factory, excellent condition. Textured graphite finish, 9-volt active EQ with bass / treble boost and cut controls. Classic Stingray tone and feel, great playability and recently set up and intonated. If you like powerful, driving rock or metal tones, or a great punchy slap sound, this bass has it covered. And the neck feels great, too. Hate to sell, but I don't play it as much as my Jazz bass and I need to clear out some of my gear stockpile. This bass does NOT have a case. If interested, all questions will be answered except for lowball offers. Additional pics availble on request. Please respond with "Stingray" in subject line to filter spammers. Thanks for looking!

What do you mean? Isn't that is an original SUB Stingray? They made SUB Sterlings too, both made in the USA. Are you hung up on what they are now marketing as SUB's which come from the far east?

Totally legit ad there, I'd buy it!

[Thor]

Originally Posted by AuntieBeeb

I always assumed it was just fair and polite to split the cost evenly...or am I in the minority? Do some bands break up the price in proportion to who's making the most noise?

This is a Brilliant Idea!

[JFOC]

Originally Posted by Double E

What do you mean? Isn't that is an original SUB Stingray? They made SUB Sterlings too, both made in the USA. Are you hung up on what they are now marketing as SUB's which come from the far east?

Totally legit ad there, I'd buy it!

Apparently I dont know the difference between a Stingray & a sterling

[hdracer]

Originally Posted by Double E

What do you mean? Isn't that is an original SUB Stingray? They made SUB Sterlings too, both made in the USA. Are you hung up on what they are now marketing as SUB's which come from the far east?

Totally legit ad there, I'd buy it!

+1 That is a good deal.
I saw one like that sell in 3 days at a music store for $699

I hate that MM has ruined the SUB name by putting it on their new cheap basses.
The USA SUB's were the best bang for the buck bass made.

[BBox Bass]

I'm going to jump on this one!

two Guitarist a bassist and a drummer

Needed: hello i am (Vocalist 1) and i have a band called (3-word name that sounds similar to names adopted by all the metalcore band in my area). but our other members have quit b.c they didnt have the instruments so they were like f you guys and left. But me and my buddy (Vocalist 2) have this band but no members except us two. now me and him are vocals we are a rock/metal band and i do the screamo if you know whut i mean, and Vocalist 2 does regular vocals. i also play guitar but i write the music for guitar and he is the lyrics person. But like i said no other members. So please please get a hold of us we feel like if we get goods songs and stuff we can get gigs and make the moola. so call me at (number deleted) ask for (name of someone who isn't Vocalist 1) and call him at (number deleted) ask for Vocalist 2. thank you very much and hope to hear from you guys.

[winstonthecat]

Not really dumb, but a little odd.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/muc/3471017932.html

Music Artist (downtown / civic / van ness)

Date: 2012-12-16, 12:50PM PST
Reply to this post bvjmb-3471017932@comm.craigslist.org[?]
My name is Man GooGoo. I have 5 albums on iTunes and other digital distributors.

My music is not limited to any labels but i'm a mix of Rock, Techno, Hip Hop and Punk.

I make my own beats, sing and rap over them and shred the guitar over them as well.

I've got a handfull of cool gigs under my belt, including multiple 2011 and 2012 Burning Man performances.

please check my music
http://www.mangoogoomusic.com

looking for management, booking agents, labels, fans, ect...

[DerTeufel]

Must be really special to ask for more than what they sell for new!

http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/msg/3485263139.html

im Selling my Sterling Ray 34 Bass because i need the money to pay off a ticket i got.... this thing is pretty much brand new i've only played it a handful of times, it sounds great and looks great, no dings or scratches.... comes with the case a strap and of course the bass itself, if interested text or call me at 951 813 1217

[landau roof]

Canvas nut for tone?

FS/FT 1976 Fender P-Bass With Mighty Mite Neck And HSC

[My name is Mudd]

Ghetto mute.

[tekdiver500ft]

Originally Posted by DerTeufel

Must be really special to ask for more than what they sell for new!

http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/msg/3485263139.html

im Selling my Sterling Ray 34 Bass because i need the money to pay off a ticket i got.... this thing is pretty much brand new i've only played it a handful of times, it sounds great and looks great, no dings or scratches.... comes with the case a strap and of course the bass itself, if interested text or call me at 951 813 1217

I see that quite often lately, especially with Sterlings. I often wonder if these idiots really think people won't research the value before making an offer.

[Cody Stanley]

Obviously a joke but still hilarious