Dumbest thing I've ever been told at a gig. Ever.

[3mrhythm]

Originally Posted by TolerancEJ

I played a show where they gave our band $20 to split. Our band was a 3-piece and drove an hour to reach the gig. Neither of us owned a van, so the 3 of us had to take separate cars to accomodate each of our gear.

story of our lives.. lol


luckily last show was a paying gig and we only took two cars.

a couple shows back we took 3 cars.. total of 27 in tolls alone round trip .. and the promoter made our wives pay to get in.. then "graciously" gave them their $10 back at the end of the night..


but whatever.. we play to have fun and sell cd's and shirts.. and build our fan base...

[azureblue]

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

[ThatBassBoy]

Originally Posted by azureblue

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

Nice, you should have turned her mic of when she wasn't looking.

[bassgod0dmw]

Originally Posted by azureblue

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

That's great!

[bassfran]

Originally Posted by azureblue

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

Not to derail, but I have a twice a year gig at a college in a small 100 seat auditorium, vocals-only p.a.. Once we had one of the students play guitar with us and he was on my side of the stage.

Kid said to me, "You need to turn up, you're not loud enough." I told him, "I'm fine- don't worry about it." Because we'd done the gig for 3 years running, same gear. He waited until my back was turned and reached down and adjusted my volume. I heard it change of course. I just turned down the knob on my bass to level off because we were in the middle of a song. Set ends.

I walked up to him backstage, got 6 inches from his face, and quietly growled, "Never touch another man's amp. Ever.", then walked away. The look on his face was priceless.

[THUNDERGODX]

Originally Posted by KrisH

No, the Doody Moos . . .

OR the Blooody Moos

[THUNDERGODX]

Originally Posted by Rickett Customs

Yeah, that Johnny Paycheck, he's a strange Kat, I met him once, that's about all I can say......

Johnny has since"cashed out".

[Fretless1!]

Originally Posted by azureblue

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

I love it!

[boynamedsuse]

Originally Posted by azureblue

Played for a while with this cabaret singer who would turn down my amp on breaks. As soon as I turned my back, she'd sneak up and turn it down to 2, every time. Then the rest of the band would tell me I needed to turn up more, which was always where I originally had the volume, about 4. After an annoying few days of this, I simply turned the Volume control to where I wanted it, then pulled off the knob and stuck it back on so it read "2". She snuck back on stage for the next break, saw it was on 2 and didn't touch it. And that was the end of that for the rest of the engagement.

Great solution. A lot of people would not have thought of it.

[basskidd]

Originally Posted by JoeWPgh

We had a "sound guy" once (actually the drummer's son) who ran the PA through 2 identical EQs, in series, with the exact same smiley face setting on each. I pointed out he could do it with one, with just a bigger smiley face. He looked at me like I had 14 heads on my shoulders and calmly explained that this was twice as good. Now the funny part: His ambition was to join the Army to work with nukes.

[JimboSlice423]

I read through all of these and literally laughed out loud. I am in my first band and haven't played any shows yet. After reading these I am excited and filled with terror at the same time. Hahaha

[rodl2005]

Not so much said as done....

We were playing a country festival, stage on semi-trailer.
About 1/2 way thru the set, our pedal steel player (a damn good drinker) had a bit of a break for a song & took his chance for a much needed bladder reduction:sly:
He makes his way off the stage, I was still playing onstage of course, & all I & my other band mates see, is him leave, then come back after 3 mins with the reddest face & a very embarrassed look.

We found out later he went behind stage to have a leak, saw a blank wall & proceeded to urinate (no-one else around, in a paddock etc).
Halfway thru he realised the "wall" was a part of the stage/truck & it didn't go all the way to the ground, in fact it stopped about chest height. Of course he couldn't stop then.
So, the audience see him leave stage, go down the stairs, then see his LEGS walk up the other end of the stage/semi, have a (very long) pee, facing them & get back onstage, very red-faced.

The rest of us wondered why he was so embarrassed & reddened & all he said was, "I've done something very silly"....

It was Very funny later.

[Tysonhiseler]

Years ago, I was playing with a friends band just outside Montreal. They were a screamo band. Not really my thing but they were good at what they did. During their sound check the singer asked the sound guy to turn his vocal down a bit in the monitor to which the sound guy replies " maybe if you stopped screaming you wouldn't need me to turn it down".
When was the last time you heard a sound guy complain about someone wanting less of something in the mix?!?!

[Crazyeelboy]

One time at band camp...

After a gig I had one of those really annoying drunk guys corner me first to tell me how great we were and then he went into how we had the concept "all wrong" and that we should become a Kinks tribute band...

[Dave44]

About one of the worst things to happen to this cat is a very pretty girl who was very drunk came to me and said "Aren't you in the band (this was at the end of the third set) my reply, yes love been here all night, oh! you're the other guitar player right" Had to laugh cause this has happened more than once in my life of hanging around the stage holding down the groove. It's all good though, I have found over the years I'm here and playing for the pure pleasure of it all and if someone comes to shake my hand and say I kicked ass on guitar I say thanx and come again. As far as Sound men/women go I've never had a problem with them as most bands I've been in twass us who supplied and ran the P.A. the odd time we had a sound tech they were very pro and we sounded great. Life is good and best spent on a stage so all can enjoy the healing benifits of music no matter the genre.

[Bufalo]

Long while back in history, a band of mine had just finished sound-checking when I was approached by a dude who had been paying a creepy level of attention to what we were doing; had this air and look of someone who had played (in his mind mind) a ton of shows and knew everything.

Says to me "hey, what kind of bass is that, looks nice?" I was playing my Peavey, a Unity Koa, pretty instrument, I think it sounds great, solid bass right? When I told him what it was, his response was a dismissive "oh... sorry to hear that."

My singer actually took the time later in our set, when thanking the bar and the venue and all to thank Peavey for making my awesome bass, just to see what the jerk-ass's face looked like. He got up and left at about that moment.

[jweber76]

We also typically provide our own PA, I am the sound guy. One night a couple years ago we were playing a local establishment that had its own sound system. We were the first band on that night and were pleased with the opportunity to have an extended Soundcheck. So we get up an go through each guitar then my bass then on to the drums... That's when the fun started. Our drummer does a quick roll around his drums, you know, just to loosen up. The sound guy comes over the mic "Hey! Just hit the drums I tell you, when I tell you to! " so he says "snare" and drummer goes rat-a-tat-a-tat on his snare. A clearly irritated sound guy says "quarter notes! Just play quarter notes!" Ok Tom 1" my clearly irritated drummer does a quick bap-bap-bap-bap on his Tom. The sound guy screams back "QUARTER NOTES!! I SAID QUARTER NOTES!!" like he had a metronome behind the board that Pete just wasn't in time with! I could hear, nee FEEL him seething behind the drums through the rest of the Soundcheck... Bearing in mind that our drummer is a 40 something, mild mannered dad who works in higher education, we completely lost it when we went around the horn on mic checks, he was growling through tightly gritted teeth "cheeeeeeeeck, cheeeeeeeeck, grrrrrrrr"
Hilarious (for everyone but our drummer)!
We've played there a few times since and never had any problems... But ol' Pete will never forget...

[sturoc]

Originally Posted by JimboSlice423

I read through all of these and literally laughed out loud. I am in my first band and haven't played any shows yet. After reading these I am excited and filled with terror at the same time. Hahaha

It's great to be where I am after all these decades of playing. BUT to be starting fresh on the path in this day and age of great gear and DAW's etc etc...
One can grow leaps and bounds pretty fast now !

Stick with it Jimboslice423, it'll be the ride of your life !

[oerk]

Originally Posted by jweber76

We also typically provide our own PA, I am the sound guy. One night a couple years ago we were playing a local establishment that had its own sound system. We were the first band on that night and were pleased with the opportunity to have an extended Soundcheck. So we get up an go through each guitar then my bass then on to the drums... That's when the fun started. Our drummer does a quick roll around his drums, you know, just to loosen up. The sound guy comes over the mic "Hey! Just hit the drums I tell you, when I tell you to! " so he says "snare" and drummer goes rat-a-tat-a-tat on his snare. A clearly irritated sound guy says "quarter notes! Just play quarter notes!" Ok Tom 1" my clearly irritated drummer does a quick bap-bap-bap-bap on his Tom. The sound guy screams back "QUARTER NOTES!! I SAID QUARTER NOTES!!" like he had a metronome behind the board that Pete just wasn't in time with! I could hear, nee FEEL him seething behind the drums through the rest of the Soundcheck... Bearing in mind that our drummer is a 40 something, mild mannered dad who works in higher education, we completely lost it when we went around the horn on mic checks, he was growling through tightly gritted teeth "cheeeeeeeeck, cheeeeeeeeck, grrrrrrrr"
Hilarious (for everyone but our drummer)!
We've played there a few times since and never had any problems... But ol' Pete will never forget...

Sorry to derail, but...

I think it's common practice to play quarter notes for the drum soundcheck - the soundman has to set his compressors and especially gates right, so it's important to hear the decay of the drum and how the gate affects it. Yeah, it's annoying for the drummer, but when I do sound, I want soundcheck to be over quickly, and that's only possible when everyone cooperates.

[SoVeryTired]

Originally Posted by oerk

Sorry to derail, but...

I think it's common practice to play quarter notes for the drum soundcheck - the soundman has to set his compressors and especially gates right, so it's important to hear the decay of the drum and how the gate affects it. Yeah, it's annoying for the drummer, but when I do sound, I want soundcheck to be over quickly, and that's only possible when everyone cooperates.

Yep, that's how we soundcheck the drums as well. Each one individually with quarter notes before checking them all together.