Dumbest thing I've ever been told at a gig. Ever.

[casperbass]

I once played a terrible wedding reception at a Moose Lodge north of St. Louis. The bride was very drunk and very unattractive, and towards the end of the evening she faced the band pulled the top of her dress down and flashed the band her breast. Had I some Mardi Gras beads I would have thrown them at her, not in appreciation, but just to make her go away. The smoke was also so bad that I could sit on my cab and actually breathe better from the cloud that was hovering above the stage...

[Moe Monsarrat]

The dumbest thing I can remember anyone saying was a cop in Pasadena, Texas telling my manager and I that I was required by law to possess a Texas driver's license in order to play in a nightclub there.

[qervo]

Originally Posted by Moe Monsarrat

The dumbest thing I can remember anyone saying was a cop in Pasadena, Texas telling my manager and I that I was required by law to possess a Texas driver's license in order to play in a nightclub there.

That's when you should have played I shot the Sheriff.

[cica]

My wife just played a gig Saturday at a local bar. She had just finished singing "Stuck Like Glue" by Sugarland when a woman walked up and asked if she knew any songs by Sugarland...

[boynamedsuse]

Originally Posted by 1954bassman

Okay, I got a new one, just last Sunday at my home church where I have been playing bass almost every Sunday for three years.

We have a large praise team, with like 10 members, and we just added a third guitarist, who plays a Fender Strat. Last Sunday was his first Sunday on the platform. After our first service, one of our church members comes up to me and says: "I see there was a new bass player up there today." Yep, three years, and some folks don't have a clue.

Originally Posted by MX21

I've had the same experience. I play for the kids at our church. I'd been doing it for a couple years, which is like 20% of their lives. I switched from a red bass to a brown one and they thought I was a new bass player.

Originally Posted by Mr L

At my old church that I played at for 3 years I had a red P bass with white pick guard for 2 years. Switched the pickguard for a black one and people thought I was a new bass player.

Felt the love...

Funny and sad . . . all at the same time.

[ko stradivarius]

I just remembered this one..

After a four set bar gig as a 3 piece band we decided to go get some food with our sound man in tow.
At this particular place we played the sound board was isolated up in a balcony overlooking but facing the stage.
While enjoying my french toast at 2:30am a couple of girls walk up to our table and one looks at our sound man and asks, "Weren't you running sound for a band playing at (the bar) tonight?"
The three of us in the band looked at each other in amasement then laughed about it. The sad part is we would jump around on stage and even had a little trampoline on stage. How could you not notice us??? Jeez...what an ego deflation.

[cirrusb2002]

Many years ago(early '90's) we had a new band & got hired to do a gig a long way from town in a small community. All of the participants got pretty hammered, & the groom actually passed out. The equally almost-falling-down-drunk bride & the best man approached our female vocalist (on her first gig), & asked her if it was OK for the best man to put the garter on the bride to move the party along. She thought fast & said, "yeah, that happens all the time, sure!" We left as quickly as we could about an hour later!

[keiththebassist]

Not something I was told but something that someone did.

I'm up there with my band about 2/3's the way through the set and all the sudden i notice this guy come to the front row and start doing some absolutely ridiculous dance. And then I noticed the smell, the smell of dried urine mixed with dried sweat (some of either possibly still wet). I'm sure you've all met this guy, homeless and desperately needing attention. Sad really.

At the next song break I said "Dude I'm glad you're having fun but you really smell like piss and if you could not stand right in front of me that'd be great". He backed off a little and during the next song came right back in full force. At the end of the next song I motioned like I was about to put my bass down and started to walk over pointing at the door. Using a couple expletives and looking him dead in the eye he finally realized I wasn't down with this continuing.

[Nashrakh]

Originally Posted by keiththebassist

Not something I was told but something that someone did.

I'm up there with my band about 2/3's the way through the set and all the sudden i notice this guy come to the front row and start doing some absolutely ridiculous dance. And then I noticed the smell, the smell of dried urine mixed with dried sweat (some of either possibly still wet). I'm sure you've all met this guy, homeless and desperately needing attention. Sad really.

At the next song break I said "Dude I'm glad you're having fun but you really smell like piss and if you could not stand right in front of me that'd be great". He backed off a little and during the next song came right back in full force. At the end of the next song I motioned like I was about to put my bass down and started to walk over pointing at the door. Using a couple expletives and looking him dead in the eye he finally realized I wasn't down with this continuing.

And here I thought we'd hear the story about the guy tossing severed gopher heads on stage again! Your story is pretty gross too though...

[stefandisgust]

"Is that a Warlock!? Nice Warlock, man!"

He was asking about my Warwick

[bryan gibson]

This just yesterday.... "Dude! You should sing more!!!" Which would be funny as hell if any of y'all have ever heard me "sing" lead before

[Violen]

I was playing a friend's wedding with my overseeing professor and few of the guys, and the Wedding Stewardess comes when we get in and introduces herself.

She asks us what kind of music we are and we say we are a Jazz Quartet.

She says oh, thats nice, does that mean there are five of you?

[chrispunx]

Originally Posted by Bradass

Sorry, but he has no right to be mad at all. The sound guy was doing it right and your drummer was doing it wrong. The poster or two before me got it right. There are reasons the soundguy does it that way.

From the story he told, sounds like the sound guy was being a douche because he did a quick roll. If the sound guy would have copped an attitude like that with me I'd have done the same thing.

[lowfreq33]

Originally Posted by Moe Monsarrat

The dumbest thing I can remember anyone saying was a cop in Pasadena, Texas telling my manager and I that I was required by law to possess a Texas driver's license in order to play in a nightclub there.

In most states you're required to have some sort of state issued ID to enter a bar, but no way it has to be the state you're in at the time. How would anyone ever tour?

[Finneus]

We played a gig in Joliet, IL in which we got flashed during the set. At the end of the night, our drummer said he had achieved all of his career goals and said he would be leaving the band...

[kcole4001]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

In most states you're required to have some sort of state issued ID to enter a bar, but no way it has to be the state you're in at the time. How would anyone ever tour?

Don't know how it works south of the border, but up here you have to be a resident of the province to get a driver's license there.
Just sounds like the cop was being a dink.
Which happens, especially to out-of-towners, musicians particularly.

[Stevosimpson]

I go to play an outdoor show and the mixing guy cranks my bass's DI till its in the red, after one song I tell him to turn down my gain (Yeah I play metal but a solid red clip is not healthy sounding to my ears). His response? "RED IS GOOD".. what an idiot. I ended up killing my DI track and just cranking my amp.

[rodl2005]

We were already playing so quietly that we could chat to each other at speaking level All other guests were digging it.
Then......
Bride to me at wedding gig
"could you turn down a bit please? It sounds great, but just a little loud"
Then after the 1st set
Bride again
"Could you perhaps turn the speakers OFF ?"
I was tempted to do it, so just drums, sax & VERY quiet vocals would be audible

[Vince Klortho]

That happened to me once. We kept getting asked to turn down and it got very annoying. I looked over at the drummer and said, "If we turn down any more this is going to be mime."

[sturoc]

Way, way back, I played in the school "jazz" band as the 'conductor' called it . We played the Association, Carpenters, Chicago, Sinatra, Herb Alpert,Some Broadway stuff. I'm thinking this is a Jazz band ??? Anyways....

During our Jr High spring concert in which many parents etc were in the audience. bout 1/3rd of the way into Windy A lady who was sitting a few rows up from the pit where were playing ( audience floor really) stands up in her Minnie Pearl get-up, walks over to me and sternly says " can you turn that down please!"

Now here I am doing that thump of a bass line in end of first bridge and she is totally in my face.
I've got the drummer to my right with the rest of the ensemble, the Elect Guitar player on my left keys behind me .
I'm like "who me ?"She's only sitting a few rows away, of course the bass sounds loud, I'm using a Gibson Thor amp !
I do the old fake volume knob turn down at the pre chorus rest.
Then here she comes again ! Says the same thing and this time I ignore her.
Geez the nerve of some people ! Ha !