Exerpt from Stephen Colbert book

[StanFan]

Colbert's solution to getting rid of illegal immigrants he suggests giving them jobs nobody else wants. His choices: Pottery Teacher, High School Guidance Counselor, and yes, Bass Player.

Bass Player: It's like you made a poorly worded deal with the devil to be a rock star. Instead of fame, fortune and groupies, you stand in the shadows plucking one note for 90 minutes while the lead singer picks out a trio of coeds from the front row for a post-show pansexual trapeze act. Even worse, you're expected to room with the drummer.

[Tony G]

I love "bass ignorance"....

[gkbass13]

either way, stephen colbert is hilarious.

[gkbass13]

im still willing to bet we rank higher than bears on his list :P

[unbasslichkeit]

My favorite example of "bass ignorance" is still Robbie Fulks':

I should explain that bass players are an odd species. You might guess that with about twenty-eight notes to play in a three-minute song, and without the ego-nourishing plaudits lavished on soloists, the bass player personality might be typified by a Gary Cooperesque easygoing humility and can-do stoicism, but not so. Bassists are the screwiest of all musicians, excepting only female singers, if you can call them musicians. Drummers are the subjects of all the stock jokes, but if there's one person in your band who has a hair-trigger chemical imbalance, holds strange and unalterable opinions, pores over obnoxious magazines whose titles incorporate the name of his instrument, and demands constant catering to, it's almost always the bassist. He will wear you out by talking long into the night about speaker cabinet dimensions, string gauges and alloys, and coming advances in direct-box electronics, and if you excuse yourself to go to sleep, he will start in eight hours later at the point in the sentence where he left off.


http://robbiefulks.com/myday/index.html?id=00007

[Tony G]

Originally Posted by gkbass13

either way, stephen colbert is hilarious.

agreed.

[Tony G]

Originally Posted by unbasslichkeit

My favorite example of "bass ignorance" is still Robbie Fulks':

I should explain that bass players are an odd species. You might guess that with about twenty-eight notes to play in a three-minute song, and without the ego-nourishing plaudits lavished on soloists, the bass player personality might be typified by a Gary Cooperesque easygoing humility and can-do stoicism, but not so. Bassists are the screwiest of all musicians, excepting only female singers, if you can call them musicians. Drummers are the subjects of all the stock jokes, but if there's one person in your band who has a hair-trigger chemical imbalance, holds strange and unalterable opinions, pores over obnoxious magazines whose titles incorporate the name of his instrument, and demands constant catering to, it's almost always the bassist. He will wear you out by talking long into the night about speaker cabinet dimensions, string gauges and alloys, and coming advances in direct-box electronics, and if you excuse yourself to go to sleep, he will start in eight hours later at the point in the sentence where he left off.


http://robbiefulks.com/myday/index.html?id=00007

That doesn't sound ignorant to me....it sounds right on the money.

[Swift713]

+1 to both love of Colbert and the accuracy of Robbie Fulks' quote.

[invader3k]

Those are both pretty funny.

[m0nst3r]

Those are great!

[flakeh]

Colbert is my idol. I love that man. everynight, I lay in bed at 11 too watch daily show, and then I watch colbert report. After that, I'm outta laughs till the next night.

Rock on colbert, rock on

[TheXym]

Colbert is hysterical, the book is well worth the read. I personally got a huge kick out of his bass player comment.

[Mark Latimour]

Originally Posted by unbasslichkeit

My favorite example of "bass ignorance" is still Robbie Fulks':

I should explain that bass players are an odd species. You might guess that with about twenty-eight notes to play in a three-minute song, and without the ego-nourishing plaudits lavished on soloists, the bass player personality might be typified by a Gary Cooperesque easygoing humility and can-do stoicism, but not so. Bassists are the screwiest of all musicians, excepting only female singers, if you can call them musicians. Drummers are the subjects of all the stock jokes, but if there's one person in your band who has a hair-trigger chemical imbalance, holds strange and unalterable opinions, pores over obnoxious magazines whose titles incorporate the name of his instrument, and demands constant catering to, it's almost always the bassist. He will wear you out by talking long into the night about speaker cabinet dimensions, string gauges and alloys, and coming advances in direct-box electronics, and if you excuse yourself to go to sleep, he will start in eight hours later at the point in the sentence where he left off.


http://robbiefulks.com/myday/index.html?id=00007

Sorry, where is the ignorance in this???

[MikeBass]

LMAO!!!
Thats some funny stuff!!!

[Vandelay]

Originally Posted by unbasslichkeit

My favorite example of "bass ignorance" is still Robbie Fulks':....]

Which begs the question: who the hell is Robbie Fulks?!

And how does he manage to eavesdrop on all my conversations?