"Fired" for wanting to practice?

autodidact · #1 08-09-2011, 08:30 AM

This could be a very long story but I'll trim it down just to save everybody a lot of time [and frustration]. Our Singer/Guitarist/BL contacted me about a year ago to start playing in a death metal band, being good buddies with him I thought "Sure why not?" Over the course of the next YEAR we went through 3 drummers and 2 singers before finally turning our direction to a grunge/alternative genre so we could hopefully find a better cache of reliable musicians. We get a reliable [and competent...I know, I got lucky ;D] drummer, BL's brother jumps in on rhythm guitar and boom we have a band. We establish a normal practice time and start writing. BL signs the lease on the practice space [which is important]. All goes well for about 2 weeks until BL calls and says he going to be late. 2 hours later he finally shows up. This whole "I'll be late" or "I can't make it to practice" thing goes on for a few months, I'm talking 6 out of 10 practices either delayed or cancelled.

2 weeks ago I had to call and say that I wasnt going to be able to make it to practice because I had some last minute business come up that took priority over playing [family matters].

So yesterday I text the BL [I would have rather talked face to face but we were both at work at the time] to ask if we were practicing this week and was answered with "Last time I checked, I wasn't the one cancelling practice every other week." Now being in an already bad mood after working several hours in the 130 degree kitchen I replied and told him not to start b******* at me, I just wanted to know if we were practicing and that I had only cancelled one practice in the last year. The reply I got was "Relax" which as everyone knows when you're legitimately angry...never works. I proceeded to tell him that I don't think it's cool that he's making it sound like Im the reason we don't practice when our drummer gives drum lessons half the time, and how he [the BL] can't even show up to practice on time. I told him that I just wanted to write some songs and play some shows, and that that was all I had wanted for the last year...The reply was: "Ok leave your keys in the room. I don't need your diva bull****"

Sorry for the long story I just needed to rant a little bit. But I ask you Talkbass community...Is wanting to practice being too high maintenance?

fenderhutz · #2 08-09-2011, 08:33 AM

Sounds like people were holding on to their ego's more than the music.

**jmattbassplaya** · #3 08-09-2011, 08:36 AM

Funny how the people who are always wrong try to turn a situation around and blame the guy who messes up just one time.

You're better without 'em.

tdub0199 · #4 08-09-2011, 08:40 AM

You may be better off without "That Guy".....

autodidact · #5 08-09-2011, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tdub0199

You may be better off without "That Guy".....

I would have loved to keep playing an replaced "that guy" how ever the drummer is one of his friends, the other guitarist is his brother and his names on the lease...so yeah.

Oh well, not a huge loss, it is what it is.

JakeAndAirwaves · #6 08-09-2011, 08:44 AM

You don't need that. Better off leaving.

kcole4001 · #7 08-09-2011, 08:51 AM

Better off without 'em.
Your response should be dictated by whether you think you may ever work with any of these guys again.
After his 'diva bull___t' remark I'd be tempted to just say 'well f__k you too' and be glad to be rid of them, but it really depends on the long term effects that may or may not have.
Sometimes it's just best to let it drop and move on no matter how wrong and stupid people act.

JmJ · #8 08-09-2011, 08:57 AM

This kind of thing irks me, when people hold you up to a standard that they can not meet themselves. My advice is to politely distance yourself.

TheVoiceless · #9 08-09-2011, 09:00 AM

Fired?? From what? No gigs, no practice, no band. Sorry but having gone through this before I wouldn't be too upset. Move on. Bring your talent and reliability to people who need it and appreciate it. Right now there is a band that needs a bass player because their current guy misses practice and refuses to learn his parts. Take his spot.

Good luck!!

lowendgenerator · #10 08-09-2011, 09:01 AM

Burn the building down...With the BL in it.

autodidact · #11 08-09-2011, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheVoiceless

Fired?? From what? No gigs, no practice, no band. Sorry but having gone through this before I wouldn't be too upset. Move on. Bring your talent and reliability to people who need it and appreciate it. Right now there is a band that needs a bass player because their current guy misses practice and refuses to learn his parts. Take his spot.

Good luck!!

Yeah I feel ya, that's why I'm not too upset about it. No shows, no monies, no big loss. I just invested a lot of my time so it was kind of a bummer. Now that it's the day after I'm looking towards greener pastures.

OH! and I forgot, the drummer may be bailing at the beginning of fall and he's hitting me up as soon as he starts getting something serious together. So if anything at least I came out with a couple connections right?

bassinplace · #12 08-09-2011, 09:30 AM

No point in continuing in a disrespectful environment. Onwards and upwards.

NOAH_FX · #13 08-09-2011, 09:35 AM

Meeting a good drummer is always worth losing a ****** guitarist..

If you were stuck on a desert island, he could probably use sticks to bang a SoS, the guitarist would just wine about how desert islands aren't metal.

whitedk57 · #14 08-09-2011, 09:53 AM

You probably took it too far after he said "Relax". Text messaging is never a good conduit for truly expressing yourself. He was probably just joking with you about cancelling practice, and then you took it to another level.

Always wanting to make sure the other person understands your point of view doesn't always make things run smoothly. Sometimes it's better to wait for an appropriate time to get that face-to-face meeting where you can calmly air your thoughts out.

Besides, had you ever confronted him before about always being late? Don't let things simmer. You were probably boiling way before this situation arose.

autodidact · #15 08-09-2011, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitedk57

You probably took it too far after he said "Relax". Text messaging is never a good conduit for truly expressing yourself. He was probably just joking with you about cancelling practice, and then you took it to another level.

Always wanting to make sure the other person understands your point of view doesn't always make things run smoothly. Sometimes it's better to wait for an appropriate time to get that face-to-face meeting where you can calmly air your thoughts out.

Besides, had you ever confronted him before about always being late? Don't let things simmer. You were probably boiling way before this situation arose.

Yeah it had come several times bfore and it had been stewing for a while so I guess it was only a matter of time. I agree with texting not being the best means of communication. However if he was just kidding and he knew I I was pissed why wouldn't he make it known that hes kidding.

tZer · #16 08-09-2011, 10:54 AM

Texting, emails, IM's = HORRIBLE for anything other then either nurturing contempt or communicating the most simplistic details.

Those methods of communications should be reserved for very matter-of-fact statements.
"Where are you?" <==> "On the way - 10 mins."

Outside of relying on sub-par communication mechanisms, I have to ask - really? One missed practice and suddenly you're persona non-grata? There must be more...

Toastfuzz · #17 08-09-2011, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tZer

Texting, emails, IM's = HORRIBLE for anything other then either nurturing contempt or communicating the most simplistic details.

Can't tell you how many fights me and the girlfriend have been in due to text messages being taken out of context, or sarcasm not being properly read, or urgency not being properly understood. I love that I'm not tied to a phone when shes not around, but I've learned by this point to call if theres any emotion involved whatsoever (outside of "Ok! Wuv woo!!

")

autodidact · #18 08-09-2011, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tZer

Texting, emails, IM's = HORRIBLE for anything other then either nurturing contempt or communicating the most simplistic details.

Those methods of communications should be reserved for very matter-of-fact statements.
"Where are you?" <==> "On the way - 10 mins."

Outside of relying on sub-par communication mechanisms, I have to ask - really? One missed practice and suddenly you're persona non-grata? There must be more...

As for the "more" I think it was more me calling him out on being a flake and hurting his pride more than me missing a practice.

80'sRocker · #19 08-09-2011, 11:55 AM

Sounds like the BL is a total tool. Good ridance

tZer · #20 08-09-2011, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by autodidact

As for the "more" I think it was more me calling him out on being a flake and hurting his pride more than me missing a practice.

Maybe it's just me - but people I have relationships with for over a year tend to be able to survive a single instance of egos bumping.

If your connection with him is that flimsy, you are probably better off. Otherwise, I think there's more to the story than you and he just butting heads this one time.

Either way - sounds like a disaster. Don't try to fix it. Move on.