Food/drink related grossness, hilarity, stupidity, etc

Waffles and Scotch · #1 08-03-2011, 09:04 AM

Our rhythm guitarist has done some pretty gross, hilarious and stupid things with food/drinks at practice, and I'm guessing we're not alone...

One night we had pizza at practice. Bear in mind we practice in a storage unit that has lots of roaches (among other things) and he leaves his guitar there 24/7...and almost never changes the strings. During one of my solos I look over and he's rubbing a slice of pepperoni pizza on his strings!! Cheese side down. All up and down the fretboard, then procedes to eat it. Doesn't wipe the grease off the strings, just starts playing again, then eats more pizza, and so on. I threw up a little in my mouth while watching him...

He's also taken twizzlers and chicken fingers and skewered them on the ends of his uncut strings, slowly eating them off while we're playing through the set. I thought that was hilarious and would be an awesome thing to do on stage, but he's pretty shy when he gets up there and won't do it.

Also, he often puts large fast food sodas on top of his amp while we're playing. I'll be watching the condensation drip down the front (or side) of his amp, then every once in a while you'll hear a thud followed by the sound of ice as his drink vibrates off, hits the floor and explodes all over the carpet.

What kind of food related grossness, hilarity, stupidity, etc have you experienced at practice and/or gigs?

kaiuk · #2 08-03-2011, 09:50 AM

jnuts1 · #3 08-03-2011, 10:04 AM

UNREAL

pklima · #4 08-03-2011, 10:09 AM

Once brought about a three-pound pork loin to a weekend festival gig. Shared some with others, ate most of it myself, and while I was off doing something else somebody put the plastic bag with the bones with bits of meat clinging to them here and there in the singer's handbag, which neither I nor the singer realized. When we went to sleep I ended up using that handbag as a pillow. She found it the next morning, so I became "the guy who sleeps on meat and bones".

Ubersheist · #5 08-04-2011, 10:09 AM

One band I was in had an OCD/hypochondriac drummer. I did all sorts of stuff around him - eating stuff off the floor, stuff that was a bit moldy, etc., just to get a rise out of him. The one that got him the worse was probably when we were in the studio. A spider was on the ceiling. It was making a web, and was slowly decending towards the drummer. He yelled at me to get it and kill it, because the thought of touching a spider freaked him out. I squashed it between my hands, and then licked my palms and ate the spider.

I eventually stopped with grossing him out because his hypochondria was so deep that it was a disease and a problem for him. Grossing him out just made him crazy freaked out and tense, and and wasn't at all funny to him. Also, I didn't really like eating spiders.

PerlNinja · #6 08-04-2011, 10:18 AM

There was this one time where I promised a friend to bring him (bass) and his friend (guitar) to their gig, since I had just gotten my new ride, and it was the biggest vehicle available at the time. On the way there, we picked up some munchies for at the gig (guess I was on roadie duty) and promptly forgot about them being in the car.

Imagine my surprise 5 days later when I got into the car to head off to the supermarket and was hit in the face with the rancid smell of rotting meat. The munchies we got are a local delicacy called Ceker. Chicken feet. No, not legs, feet. In some sort of soup. Now imagine a black car with black interior that's been sitting under the sun for 5 days straight.

I managed not to puke, but the funk of that stuff is still lingering 6 months later

DRafalske · #7 08-04-2011, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ubersheist

... ate the spider.

I think, maybe, you win.

Ubersheist · #8 08-04-2011, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DRafalske

I think, maybe, you win.

I dunno. I sure as hell wouldn't eat a pizza after it had been rubbed all over a dirty guitar. Blech!

Besides, I'm sure that one of those insipid MSN articles that pop up would state that we eat a couple of dozen spiders a year in our sleep.

Stan Laurel · #9 08-04-2011, 10:14 PM

Years ago my band was playing a college gig in the cafeteria. We had to go through the kitchen for load in. When we finished and packed the gear in our closed trailer one of the guys grabbed a bag of potatoes from the kitchen and threw it in the trailer. We unloaded the trailer but for some unknown reason left the potatoes to fester in the July heat. The next week we started to load up to find 100 lbs of rotten potatoes. EEEEWWWWWW!

**tommyr01** · #10 08-04-2011, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ubersheist

One band I was in had an OCD/hypochondriac drummer. I did all sorts of stuff around him - eating stuff off the floor, stuff that was a bit moldy, etc., just to get a rise out of him. The one that got him the worse was probably when we were in the studio. A spider was on the ceiling. It was making a web, and was slowly decending towards the drummer. He yelled at me to get it and kill it, because the thought of touching a spider freaked him out. I squashed it between my hands, and then licked my palms and ate the spider.

I eventually stopped with grossing him out because his hypochondria was so deep that it was a disease and a problem for him. Grossing him out just made him crazy freaked out and tense, and and wasn't at all funny to him. Also, I didn't really like eating spiders.

That made my wife and I laugh so damn hard!... thank you !!!!!!!!!!!

nance511 · #11 08-04-2011, 10:32 PM

Chocolate makes me sneeze.
Before a show one night our lead guitar player's girlfriend made us brownies. I was smart and saved mine for a pre-show snack. Halfway through the first song I sneezed that brownie all over the front of my shirt and down the front of my bass.
Luckily I stand back near the drummer where nobody pays too much attention, but our drummer laughed at me the entire set because that brownie was just everywhere.

SMILEYSIXX · #12 08-04-2011, 10:42 PM

Not really gross, but drink related. I can uncap a bottle and drink the contents while playing without missing a note. It's a gift I suppose... up until an incident where one of my basses ended up coated in sunkist.

pepsiblue32 · #13 08-04-2011, 11:26 PM

Here's one...so our old practice space was near a place that sold these really big nacho plates. Like the ones you'd buy at a music festival. Really huge chips, lots of cheese, etc. But the plate was really flimsy.

Well, our bassist was late one day to practice. Our drummer hadn't ate dinner that night and called the bassist to buy him a order of the nachos on her way in. (they were dating at the time...)

As we were practicing a song, the bassist walks in and puts the nacho plate on the drummer's floor tom.

She goes (quietly) "Here you go."

Of course the drummer didn't hear her.

He does a huge ass drum roll and the nachos go flying off the tom onto the bent over bassist noodling with something on her pedal board.

She shrieked so loud...! I go to my guitarist, "Hell...she should do the dirty vocals, not you."

Long story short, she went home early to take a shower. They broke up a few weeks after that. We made a band rule about no nachos in the rehearsel space

...for the sake of band relationships

Waffles and Scotch · #14 08-05-2011, 10:05 AM

ROFL! Some of these are hilarious!!

Ewo · #15 08-05-2011, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TF Ghost

One night we had pizza at practice. Bear in mind we practice in a storage unit that has lots of roaches (among other things) and he leaves his guitar there 24/7...and almost never changes the strings. During one of my solos I look over and he's rubbing a slice of pepperoni pizza on his strings!! Cheese side down. All up and down the fretboard, then procedes to eat it. Doesn't wipe the grease off the strings, just starts playing again, then eats more pizza, and so on. I threw up a little in my mouth while watching him...

Golly gee, I have no clue why there are roaches in your rehearsal space...

Metalbasshippy · #16 08-05-2011, 11:26 AM

The drummer from my band once ordered a footlong cold cut combo from subway with double extra bacon, chipotle, mayo and mustard, then he went to A&W and got two grandpa burgers, onion rings and a large poutine. He then cut up the burgers and put them in the sub and put the poutine and onion rings on top and ate the whole thing and washed it down with a large root beer.
We got the nutrition info and added it up and it was something like 4600 calories!!

He was still hungry afterwards

BurnedEdge66 · #17 08-05-2011, 02:28 PM

One day at practice with an old band one of my guitarists had a really bad cold. He kept having to wipe is nose during a song but instead of stopping he just used he hand whenever he had a spare second. Needless to say by end of the sing his hand, and strings were a mess.

EricssonB · #18 08-05-2011, 02:34 PM

I spilled a few drops of coffee on the top of my amp the other day. It's covered in Tolex with no vents on the top, but I was still upset. You people make me sick!

carl h. · #19 08-05-2011, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalbasshippy

The drummer from my band once ordered a footlong cold cut combo from subway with double extra bacon, chipotle, mayo and mustard, then he went to A&W and got two grandpa burgers, onion rings and a large poutine. He then cut up the burgers and put them in the sub and put the poutine and onion rings on top and ate the whole thing and washed it down with a large root beer.
We got the nutrition info and added it up and it was something like 4600 calories!!

He was still hungry afterwards

I remember those days!

Slur Sleven · #20 08-05-2011, 03:00 PM

Sorry - kinda long, but I worked the back room at a guitar shop years ago with a friend. Once we were boxing up some defective effects boxes for vendor return. One would hunt down the right-sized cardboard box saved from earlier deliveries, and the other would pack the merch with some peanuts, add labels, and set it in the outgoing section for pick-up.

The boxes were kept next to the dumpster door. The garbage was also placed there - it went out with the boxes each day. So sometimes a salesman would eat his lunch and throw it out in a box.

On the day we boxed up the pedals, attention to detail was set aside for speed. Apparently one of the sales guys had some fried chicken for lunch, put the bones in a small box and put it in the "trashpile."

four days later...

We come in to start work, and manager is pissed about something, and some of the sales guys are snickering to each other looking at us, muttering something about "chicken bones." We get called into the manager's office, and he tells us about a phone call he got from an effects pedal vendor.

When they opened the box received from our store that day, the staff had to evacuate the warehouse from the smell coming from the box they opened. They then found rotting chicken bones underneath the returned effects pedal!

Manager: Did you intentionally place the chicken bones in the box?
Me: No- of course not!" [fighting really, REEALLY hard not to bust out laughing]
Manager: I hope that's not your idea of a joke, cuz that's not funny!

Apologies to the folks at the vendor - I did feel bad about gassing you out. I can only imagine what the rotten chicken smell was like after 3-4 days in a delivery truck!

I still think it was a bit funny, and so did my co-workers who would make chicken bone comments and suppress their laughter for the next few days!