Fun with a button maker. Making bassist buttons

[walksupright]

So, I 'm hanging out with friends who've just got a button maker for Xmas. With this tool, we've decided to create buttons that will help bassists communicate the full range of snappy retorts to band members, express common frustrations on the gig and generally help people who aren't bassists understand our thinking. Admittedly, the buttons so far reflect my own passive-aggressive misanthropic nature, so I'm asking other bassists to add to the list we've made so far to widen the scope.

Here's what some of the buttons say:

Bassists are musicians too

I read music. Do you?

Tune your guitar please.

Count in 4 please.

Find the key please.

I do more with 4 strings that you do with 6.

It's how Jamerson did it!

Flatwounds baby!

Will only slap for pay!

At least I know what key we're in!

You don't need all those pedals.

No left hand please.

Read the chart. . . oh, wait!

If you help load in/out, I may start liking you.

Gig without bass. . . dare you!

Did you bring a back-up?

At least the sound guy likes me!

Any more suggestions? Promise, we're not making money of this. . . just wasting time really! Cheers!

[nortonrider]

no girls will hang out with us....so we make buttons

[two fingers]

"That hot blonde keeps pointing at you, but she's going home with me."

"You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

"I give them funny feelings in their....."

[Peepaleep]

"Bass players do it deeper"

[Wookieonbass]

Hey girls,
Bass players have magic fingers!

[richntiff]

Bass players have longer thicker instruments...

[Stewie26]

[QUOTE=two fingers

"You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

My favorite so far.

[lnichols]

Bass players make more $$ per note.

[Profania_bass]

"I am the thump in the night."

[tmdazed]

My rig is much bigger and goes far deeper

[powmetalbassist]

Bigger, Badder, Bass!

[f64]

Don't piss me off...I'll speed the drummer up

[Nev375]

Originally Posted by walksupright

we're not making money of this. . . just wasting time really!

There's a good one right there.

[Wookieonbass]

I'm not good, but I've got guts!

[dnosewor]

Originally Posted by Nev375

There's a good one right there.

Hahaha. That was my favorite too

[tmdazed]

no I am not a failed guitarist and no Bass is not easier to play

no one wants to be the bassist

Ill step on your rhythm line any time I like

no I am not a drummer , I CAN count to 4

if it aint down low , its nothing but treble

no you cant come up and sit in a song , do I come to your work and steal your headset and ask your customers , "do you want fries with that"

Bass , not just the fish anymore

I wear a hat

[mjac28]

With all of that "flair" you guys are wearing you might start getting drink orders.

[Folmeister]

Some I would like to have:

I own the PA

No, I can't help you with your drums!

No, I can't give you a ride

[HereIGoAgain]

Capo??? We don't need no stinkin' CAPOS!!!!

Go ahead and do that left-hand walk. I'll just go up high and play the lead line.

Never famous, but never hungry.

[KJB]

Bass Happens

Bass, it's what's for dinner.

On the eighth day, God created bass.

Bass>Chuck Norris

Even Nikki can play one.