|  | | 
01-20-2003, 12:56 PM
| | stinkholier-than-thou | | Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Beaumont, Texarse | |
Sign in to disble this ad
Heh, just stumbled across these two from a local web board. Southeast Texas - gotta love it...
#1
-----------------
SINGLE MOM NEEDS ASSISTANCE
I am a young single mom wanting to start my own record company. I want to promote and develop local talent. I need financial assistance and names of people that I could learn from and or use as investors. If you want to be a part of the biggest and most successful record business in Texas or have connections with someone who would, contact me. Serious inquiry only.
-----------------
#2
-----------------
Dont pass me up........
I love going out and hearing a killer a** band with my friends and just leaving the club feeling good. Not just because of the aLKa. (Live music rules!) I'm 24-female, wanting to sing some tunes and give some people something to RoCK about. E-mail me and NO CrazY's!!!
----------------- 
__________________
Boldly shooting my mouth off on the internet since 1994.
|
10-20-2005, 01:49 PM
|  | Life is Tough. Laugh more. Moderator | | Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Warwick, Rhode Island, USA | | | Memory Lane
Page 1 post 33 of this thread is required reading for all new TB'ers ...
Zandertard explained ... 
__________________
Hardly Ever Sarcastic Moderator of
Amps: Naked Engineer Mudwrestling.
Bass Humor: Low Loud Proud.
Band Management: Bandmate bash here.
Dud of Thordom
Last edited by Thor : 10-21-2005 at 10:06 AM.
|
10-20-2005, 02:16 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Atlanta GA | | | Once I remember seeing an ad in the Recycler (large ad publication in Southern CA) where this hard-rock/metal band in formation actually dictated what equipment the guitarist had to have, and I quote, "MUST have Les Paul and Marshall Stack--"
How freakin' ridiculous!
__________________
Never play slap bass for a bear, you'll make it VERY angry.
|
10-20-2005, 10:17 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: dayville ct | | | The local rag has had an ad running for a few weeks
Local Band Seeking Lead guitarist
We are holding AUCTIONS for our new lead Guitarist(SPELLING)
Must have PRO EQUIPMENT (as if Pro gear will make you play any better) NO DRUGS , OR ATTITUDES , OR EGOS , OR CONTROL FREAKS( maybe they should list what they want it might be a shorter list )
We are very professional (translated we can't play worth S@#t and think we are great) Must be able to practice once a week and gig once maybe twice monthly (IF YOU CAN HACK THE COMMITMENT)
you see why I travel 50 miles to practice and play out of state most gigs
If the future is now ...........
What was yesterday?
Last edited by verbass : 10-20-2005 at 10:18 PM.
Reason: grammar
|
10-21-2005, 04:59 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: East TN | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by ZoomBoy Jennifer,
That's the same ad that I linked to up here in Massachsetts. For even bigger laughs go to their website and poke around. I don't know if the terrible grammar and spelling is intentional or not! http://fixtheband.cjb.net/ | I visited and McAfee immediately popped up a virus alert for MediaGateway.exe in my temp 'net files......
Just an FYI |
10-21-2005, 03:49 PM
| | | My favorites are the ones that say something along the lines of
"practice 3x per week, play out 1x per month. Our gigs are unpaid promotional appearances. Professionals only"
Right...professionals...for unpaid gigs.
Here's a hysterical band website i came across while perusing Gigfinder.com. I know, it's not actually a musician wanted ad, but you still need to check out the history and bio sections. I'm not sure if it's for real, or a parody, but great stuff nonetheless. http://wolfbait.org/
__________________
Sean LaVallee
Syracuse, NY
|
10-23-2005, 11:58 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Toronto | | | "Enigmatic composer seeks young woman who can program drums through the computer."
Made me giggle every time I saw it. |
10-24-2005, 11:26 AM
| | Life is Tough. Laugh more. Moderator | | Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Warwick, Rhode Island, USA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by naja I visited and McAfee immediately popped up a virus alert for MediaGateway.exe in my temp 'net files......
Just an FYI | You might want to not quote the link then or disable it. That link was a few years old, also. Too bad, because their site was, well, shall we say 'Priceless'... lol!
__________________
Hardly Ever Sarcastic Moderator of
Amps: Naked Engineer Mudwrestling.
Bass Humor: Low Loud Proud.
Band Management: Bandmate bash here.
Dud of Thordom |
10-24-2005, 12:33 PM
|  | ... you talkin' to me ?? | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: DEEP in the Heart of Texas | | | so , who's really in this band anyway ??
i know it's been shown before , but i keep finding these
" band in search of vocalist , guitar players { lead and rhythm } ,
drummer and bass player .
we have gigs lined up ..."
ads in one of our local shops .
i've never called these guys , but maybe i will , just for kicks ...
__________________ Fender M.I.A. # 65 - G&L # 3 - HollowBody # 349
Black'n' Maple # 15- Olympic White # 23
Texas Bassist # 9 - Blues Bass Player # 95
Aguilar # 50 - Genz-Benz # 232
http:www.thebobbassband.com
|
10-24-2005, 01:17 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Fort Worth, Texas | | | Who's in the band?
Quote: |
Originally Posted by david meissner i know it's been shown before , but i keep finding these
" band in search of vocalist , guitar players { lead and rhythm } ,
drummer and bass player .
we have gigs lined up ..."
ads in one of our local shops .
i've never called these guys , but maybe i will , just for kicks ... |
Fred the accordion player.. |
10-24-2005, 01:19 PM
|  | Moderator
Endorsing Artist: Levy's Leathers Moderator | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Toronto/Niagara Falls, Ontario | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by david meissner i know it's been shown before , but i keep finding these
" band in search of vocalist , guitar players { lead and rhythm } ,
drummer and bass player .
we have gigs lined up ..."
ads in one of our local shops .
i've never called these guys , but maybe i will , just for kicks ... | Maybe he's a keyboardist looking for work?
Whatever it is, I had a great laugh. |
10-26-2005, 01:37 PM
| | | | This was posted in the record store I work at:
"Band seeks bass player, preferably female and cute. Must sound like White Stripes and Jon Spencer Blues Explosion"
...neither of which band actually has a bass player. |
10-26-2005, 05:30 PM
| | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by verbass The local rag has had an ad running for a few weeks
Local Band Seeking Lead guitarist
We are holding AUCTIONS for our new lead Guitarist(SPELLING)
Must have PRO EQUIPMENT (as if Pro gear will make you play any better) NO DRUGS , OR ATTITUDES , OR EGOS , OR CONTROL FREAKS( maybe they should list what they want it might be a shorter list )
We are very professional (translated we can't play worth S@#t and think we are great) Must be able to practice once a week and gig once maybe twice monthly (IF YOU CAN HACK THE COMMITMENT)
you see why I travel 50 miles to practice and play out of state most gigs
If the future is now ...........
What was yesterday? |
+1
Same story checking classifieds in Chicago (see my post in the pet peeve thread). Every post is "Professional band, Chicago's next great act, looking to audition the best f****n [plug in musical talent application] in the damn city. Must be completely committed, have pro gear, AND THAT MEANS A F****N 800W TUBE AMP, NO F****N KIDDY S*** ALLOWED, your own transportation, MUST BE OVER 21 (because the only gig the band can play is Joe's Tap), and MUST HAVE NO EGO BUT LOVE TONS OF BEER AND [plug in various drugs] (and as if that defines a great band).
Anyways, I check out their myspace page, and at best they're a complete knockoff of any random radio band, but never anything origional. Gotta wonder sometimes. |
10-27-2005, 09:35 AM
| | Life is Tough. Laugh more. Moderator | | Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Warwick, Rhode Island, USA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by NewAndImprov This was posted in the record store I work at:
"Band seeks bass player, preferably female and cute. Must sound like White Stripes and Jon Spencer Blues Explosion"
...neither of which band actually has a bass player. | LMFAO
Unfortunately, the worst part is it is likely true!
__________________
Hardly Ever Sarcastic Moderator of
Amps: Naked Engineer Mudwrestling.
Bass Humor: Low Loud Proud.
Band Management: Bandmate bash here.
Dud of Thordom |
10-27-2005, 10:10 AM
| | | | guitar player for punk band.
"Wanted: guitar player for punk band. No experience necessary..." |
10-27-2005, 03:44 PM
| | | | Found this on MySpace
"hey if you play any thing i dont care wat i wont you to send me a message. im looking right now for a place of practice and a bad ass basses and any sysnth players and a geetares play and back up singer. but i wont some horns to i dont no wat yet but i need them. send me something i memmbers soon. and a place to practice. any one with a cello to"
It's hard to make ass under tea-kettle of this. Appearently he wants some horns, synth, back up singers, bass, guitar, and cello... and a place to practice. I like the idea of those sounds together, but I don't think he's going to make anything of it.
BoS
__________________ Quote:
"We are human-beings not human-doings"
~ My friend, Carl
| |
11-12-2009, 04:33 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Joao Pessoa, Brazil | | | I have seen this on the journal:
"Looking for a bassist, lead guitarrist, solo guitarrist, singer and drummer, contact Andre."
Thats a one-man band!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony  ^ knows photoshopped cheeks chaff my willie | Quote:
Originally Posted by 5StringBlues Make way, or forsooth, thou shalt become my Shergold! |
Last edited by Marco A. Mayer : 11-12-2009 at 04:39 PM.
|
11-12-2009, 04:57 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Ottawa | | | Wow... saw this thread, read through a bunch, clicked a lot of dead links ... only to realize that it's a thread started 9 years ago. TB has some longevity man. Sweet! |
11-12-2009, 07:21 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Groves, Tx | | Quote:
Originally Posted by secretdonkey Heh, just stumbled across these two from a local web board. Southeast Texas - gotta love it...
#1
-----------------
SINGLE MOM NEEDS ASSISTANCE
I am a young single mom wanting to start my own record company. I want to promote and develop local talent. I need financial assistance and names of people that I could learn from and or use as investors. If you want to be a part of the biggest and most successful record business in Texas or have connections with someone who would, contact me. Serious inquiry only.
-----------------
#2
-----------------
Dont pass me up........
I love going out and hearing a killer a** band with my friends and just leaving the club feeling good. Not just because of the aLKa. (Live music rules!) I'm 24-female, wanting to sing some tunes and give some people something to RoCK about. E-mail me and NO CrazY's!!!
----------------- | Just wait until I post my ad on there.... | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | |
